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Adrien: I suck and shouldnt be chat noir

Plagg: Cheese metaphor about value.

(depressed transformation)

Chat noir: I am here to help even though i am too late. Please Let me do something useful, I could use a win

Ladybug: Nah we handled everything perfectly already, Just chill.

Chat noir: Please

Ladybug: Expression that is poorly worded that you misunderstand as being replacable

Chat noir: (Angry) You can find yourself a new cat!

Ladybug: (doesnt realize what he is saying) Sounds good!

One minute later

Ladybug: WAIT NO!

(But he was gone)

Plagg: Cheese metaphor that perfectly explains how Ladybug f***ed it up.

Ladybug: Lol Plagg like cheese

Plagg: (Mental screams)

Ladybug: Clearly I need new kitty without any emotional attachment

Plagg: WTF NO!

OTHER KWAMI: NO!

TIKKI: F***ING S*** Marinette

Adrien: (Violins play to express sadness)

Marinette: (PEPE SILVIA MEME) BUT HOW DO I CHAT NOIR THOUGH?

Plagg: I have an idea. Tikki, You just need to smile while I blatantly lie to the guardian.

Tikki: I can only see this going horribly wrong

Plagg: There is another cat boy I can go to. He is uber sexy and competent

Marinette: I dont know. Tikki is this true.

Tikki: (Smiling and nodding)

Marinette: Well I unquestioningly believe you.

(Meanwhile at the violin concert)

Plagg: Adrien! I know how you can get ladybug to fall for you.

Adrien: Plagg, cant you see I am speed running depression?

Plagg: But you can alter your costume and we can practice poses?

Adrien: Oh damn I am game.

(Cue training montage)

Ladybug: I feel like Plagg may have been lying

Chat Walker: Hello Ladybug. I am Chat walker and You will fall in love with me.

Ladybug: I doubt that.

(CUE GIANT CAT MONSTER)

Ladybug: OMG ITS CHAT NOIR! HE IS CLEARLY HEARTBROKEN OVER THE WHOLE SITUATION. CHAT NOIR I AM SORRY. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME KITTY.

Chat walker: (is actually chat noir) You might be wrong on that.

Shadowmoth: What the f*** is the girl on? Kuro neko kick their asses

(The cat monster proceeds to kick their asses)

Ladybug: So the cat monster isnt chat noir.

Chat walker: Dont worry Ladybug, I am here to help you. And clearly you are emotionally vulnerable and this sentence will cause you to start thirsting for me.

Ladybug: Oh no you are hot.

(Cue Ladybug simping for a few minutes)

Ladybug: Lucky charm

Chat walker: So whats the plan with that long sheet that can fit two people on it

(Vision focuses)

Ladybug: (Biting her lip) I might have an idea... But lets try something else.

(The lucky charm doesnt work)

Chat walker: Well it is a sentimonster, I am gonna go recharge.

Ladybug: (suddenly a plan forms as soon as he leaves) Oh... this is a problem

Chat Walker: Im back.

Ladybug: I have plan... but you need to not be here.

Chat Walker: Okay cool.

Ladybug: Wait you arent bummed?

Chat Walker: The mission matters.

Ladybug: I miss my actual kitty.

(So Ladybug gets the cat monster to spit out the child)

Girl: I wont break bank. Money for my kitty who I lost.

Ladybug: (Who is missing Chat noir) I RELATE TO YOU SMALL CHILD!

Girl: I instantly believe you

(The day is saved)

Ladybug: Im sorry Chat walker. You are too sexy... I mean you and I just cant work well together. You need to hand back the cat miraculous to the old chat noir.

Chat Walker: Okay cool. Later Ladybug

________________________________________________

Adrien: Well that failed

Plagg: Nah that is perfect.

Adrien: But will I be me again? Is Chat noir really me.

Plagg: Get that true selves bullsh*t out of here. Its current year

Adrien: Whoa.

Plagg: Now go talk to ladybug

___________________________________________________

Chat noir: Sorry I rage quit. Even if you dont always need me. I should just be cool about it.

Ladybug: Get off your bulls***. I will always need you. Even if you arent 'needed' you are NEEDED.

Chat noir: Okay cool.

Adrien is confusion. Who is she talking to? There’s no one else in the room—

And then he hears a squeaky voice say “you’ve got it so bad, Marinette. It wouldn’t be that hard to talk to him!”

Now he’s REALLY confused. He slowly shifts his eyes so he can look at her, and she looks decidedly more red.

She opens the little crossbody bag she always has on her person, and hisses into it, “I talk to him all the time!”

A...mouse? Do mice even come in that color? Pokes it’s head out of the bag and giggles “you stumble through one sided conversation with him at best. Where does all your confidence go?”

Adrien knows that marinette is confident. He’s seen her stand up against injustice time and time again. Their very own everyday ladybug.

Marinette blushes deeper. “That’s different and you know it! Nobody looks at ladybug and thinks ‘wow she’s a walking disaster’ so it’s just...easier, that way.”

Adrien has no idea what’s happening.

The mouse thing’s in her purse voice turns sly. “I bet you chat noir doesn’t think you’re a walking disaster whenever he comes and visits you.”

Adrien has to clamp down on his tongue to keep himself from blurting out “of course I don’t!”

Marinette scoffs. She SCOFFS! Adrien has never heard that sound from her before. “That silly cat has too much time on his hands.” Her voice grows soft. “I just want him to know what he means to me. As a partner and a friend.”

Adrien’s eyes widen minutely. Partner? She couldn’t mean—

The thing flies out of her purse and nuzzles her cheek, and yep, that’s DEFINITELY a Kwami. And specifically, it’s LADYBUG’S kwami. “I’m sure he knows. You tell him all the time, both in and out of the suit. And you know you mean a lot to him too, not just as the savior of Paris but also as Marinette.”

Marinette smiles brightly and pats the kwami with her fingertip. “Thanks Tikki.” She looks back at Adrien one more time, and it’s only through years of modeling training that he manages not to flinch. She sighs wistfully. “I just wish that Adrien—“

She never gets to finish her wish. An alarm blares on her phone. “Akuma alert! We better go. Tikki, spots on!”

As soon as Ladybug races out of the room, Adrien collapses on the ground. Plagg zips out of his shirt, looking very worried. “Hey, kid, listen, don’t put too much stock in what just happened, it could’ve been an illusion or—“

Adrien calls for his transformation. But instead of racing after his lady, he stands still for a beat. Two.