James Potter

James,

Pardon my language? How gentlemanly of you. Why are you so passionate about this? Is this real? Because it’s…not terrible. I might like it ….a little. Which feels wrong. Not to mention you’re sort of criticizing Dumbledore which feels like no one does. Which I also sort of like. A lot. I didn’t know you felt so strongly about all of this. Or that we’d have so much we agree on. It’s so weird. But I do agree with you. It does feel like they should level with us about how the world we’re intended to go be a part of works. How are we supposed to make any sort of meaningful contributions or enact beneficial changes without that knowledge? How are we supposed to know who to trust to help us do these things if they won’t level with us about why they haven’t done it? If Dumbledore can’t do something, he should say it, explain why and what’s preventing him. Without that it just feels like he won’t. He’s just keeping the status quo, which I don’t want any part of. I may not understand everything but I do know there are so many small changes that could make a huge difference to a lot of people. It’s frustrating not being able to do any of them. I don’t know what to say to that. You think I deserve to be Head Girl? …Okay. If Dumbledore gets upset I’ll keep my mouth shut. But if he does it’ll be really telling, I feel like. And thanks. For thinking that I could maybe do some good as Head Girl.

That’s sweet. And like I said, I don’t mind making sure he’s covered when he needs to excuse himself from his prefect duties to see her. Having a plan in place for that will help keep things moving smoothly. Even though I don’t for one second believe that ridiculous lie. I’m certain she fancied him last year, the way she looked at him, it was weird to witness. I guess psycho really is some people’s type. Do you? I didn’t know that. I hope I never find out what’s in there. We should also make sure wherever we stick Mulciber we have someone strong on the floor below too. Assuming he’d go down rather then up if he was trying to do something. You might be right, like I said I didn’t pay close attention. But I do know there was no trouble so that’s him sorted I guess.

Lily

Lily,

I don’t hide it. We just haven’t talked that much. But I didn’t know we agreed on quite so much either. Right, exactly! I don’t think I really have anything else to add here because you’ve really summed it all up perfectly. I’ll just say I couldn’t agree more, with all of that. And that I like what you said about how small changes can make a difference. Hopefully as head students we can at least sneak in a few small changes like that. I’ll consider the year a success if we do. Thank Merlin you’re finally agreeing with me. I’ll just pretend I’m not bothered by the fact you agree I don’t deserve head boy. It’d be a lie, anyways, if you said otherwise. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but thanks for agreeing. It’ll definitely be telling either way. And you’re welcome. I already thought you could, but the more we’ve actually talked about it I’m even more certain now. 

Great, Remus will appreciate the understanding and the fact that you’re not asking. Ugh, I’m starting to think spending all that time in the dungeons must be bad for your vision, only reason I can think a girl would fancy Mulciber. That or psycho is her type, you may be onto something there. Oh yeah, Remus’s mum is a muggle so he’s introduced us to a lot of cool muggle stuff. I hope not either. Yeah, I think making sure everyone around Mulciber is strong is a good plan. At least that one’s sorted then. 

James,

Okay good, I’m glad I didn’t come across as doing that. It is unsettling to think he might not be able to. I’m not sure which is the worst thought, that he can’t or that he won’t. But he’s Dumbledore so it must be that he can’t. Right? As loathe as I am to say it maybe this is one of those things we won’t understand till we’re older. But it’s so frustrating to see how nothing has changed for the better in nearly seven years. It’s all the same. It’s weird agreeing with you but I’m not surprised you’re enjoying it. It’s universal I’m afraid. Muggles and wizards have far more in common than most wizards would like to believe. I’m sure you’ve all taught each other hw to be awful boys. I suppose you’re right about being prepared for the worst. But unless you can give me a good reason, like you’re trying to lose your badge on purpose, for not accepting my share of the blame I’m going to. Oh that’s just bollocks, how dumb do you thinkI am? What is her condition? No that’s mean. It’s nice that they let him visit her as much as he does, I’m sure it would be terrible for him if he had to wait for holidays. He seems so close to her. Can you feel me rolling my eyes at this terrible lie I hope so! Me too. Oh no, I’m sure she thinks he’s great, she sure seems to. Weirdo. Wait, you watch muggle horror films? Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. Ha! I know, me either, there’s gotta be something gruesome in there. Not much he can get up to on the fourth floor, and we can split up the rest of the Slytherins so no one is on adjoining floors. Though we could probably put two of the birds in the dungeon, I don’t know that anyone not Slytherin wants to patrol there. Still think its a good idea to have two strong prefects on the first floor, just in case. I didn’t know that, they didn’t seem chummy but I wasn’t exactly looking for it. I just know there was no mention of trouble with either of them in regards to their prefect duties. Which is why I suggest him for Regulus, keep him out of trouble. It’s so weird you call him Black like your best mate isn’t also Black. Lily

Lily,

You didn’t. It is a scary thought, right? Better than him just choosing not to do something. Maybe. Actually I’m not sure which is better. Both are shit, pardon my language. Forget that we’ll understand when we’re older crap. The only reason we might understand more when we’re older is because they choose not to explain everything to us now. I just wish people like Dumbledore would be straight with us about why we can’t do something that seems so simple and would help a bunch of people. We’re seventeen, we can legally do magic now, I think we can handle whatever bleak truth they’re trying to hide from us about how the world works. Yeah, I believe that. Human nature or something. A good reason? How about you deserve to be head girl more than I deserve to be Head Boy. And don’t say it’s not true, I know we’re both thinking it. And I’m not trying to do a bad job, I’ve got the badge now so I’m gonna do the best I can with it, but if this worst case scenario happens and this good idea ends up getting us into trouble, I figure Hogwarts ought to at least still have a Head Girl who cares enough to try new things instead of you just going down with me. That wouldn’t help anyone. Wouldn’t even help me. Not that you’re gonna believe any of that. 

Yeah, they’re close. If you have something you wanna say about it go ahead and say it. Of course she thinks his great, freaking Slytherins. Yeah, I’ve seen a bunch. Me and the blokes spend a lot of time in muggle London during summers and those horror films are always fun. Yep, guaranteed. That’s a good idea then, split up the Slytherins. Agree we should put two of them in the dungeons, don’t wanna stick anyone else down there. Two of the girls seems safe enough. Agreed on keeping two strong prefects on the first floor. I dunno, maybe they’re not anymore but they sure used to be. But sounds like a good plan if it kept Black out of trouble last year, so I’m good sticking with that.

James,

Now I’ve put my foot in it. I don’t mean to sound like I was suggesting Dumbledore wasn’t a good guy. Even not knowing about this Grindelwald it’s easy to see Dumbledore is. It’s just confusing why some things happen and aren’t stopped. Or changed. But maybe there’s something we don’t know. After all if Dumbledore stopped that bloke who was like Voldemort I’m sure he’d do anything he could to make things better. Right? So why doesn’t it feel like he is? Are you really as passionate about this as you sound? Or just saying stuff you think will work me up so you can laugh about it later? I agree, treating people, all people, well will only benefit everyone. Marginalizing people just leads to more bad things. For everyone. People could do with a lot more empathy. Wizards and muggles really. You are really confusing…surprising…it’s annoying. Remus is the only one I know outside of class so I can’t speak on the others. Except to say they’re all prats and Remus clearly enjoys the shit you four get up to which makes him a slight less intelligent looking. Why are you so willing to jump on the sword about this? Are you trying to find a way out of being Head Boy? That doesn’t make sense. It’s all just talk anyway right now since we don’t know that he’ll have an issue with it. Why should he, really? If you’re trying to lose your badge you should tell me. Does anyone really believe this sick grandmum business? I wonder if all this having to be out is why Remus isn’t head boy? That’s a shame, that poor woman has been sick so much. I don’t mind filling in for him. Surprised you don’t want to since you apparently know Amelia but maybe you’ve had your fun and moved on. It’s a pickle. I believe he and -7th year female prefect- patrolled together last year so maybe it wouldn’t be terrible to stick her with him again this year. Being a Slytherin she probably won’t mind being in the dungeons. He’s just so…dangerous feeling icky. Like a bloke from a horror movie with a collection of severed heads or something. If we didn’t put him in the dungeons then maybe -7th year Ravenclaw male prefect- would be a good partner for him. He doesn’t seem intimidated by Slytherins. There’s Andrew Abott too, he’s also a Ravenclaw, be sixth year this year. He seemed like a good prefect last year. I believe he was partnered with Regulus last year.

Can’t believe that’s really all you have to say about Severus.

Lily

Lily,

No, I didn’t think you were suggesting that. All I meant to say was, you’re right. It is confusing. We know he’s good, so why is there still so much bad stuff going on, even in the castle where it seems like he’s in charge of everything? I suppose he’s not entirely in charge. There is the board of governors. But he’s Dumbledore, if anyone has the influence to change things it’s him. Which makes it unsettling to think maybe even he can’t change things. I’m glad you agree. Can’t believe you’re agreeing with anything I say, but I’m glad. I can’t speak to the muggles but wizards could use a lot more empathy. I didn’t ask you to speak on the others but at least you’re not trying to pretend you know everything about them. I’ve learned a lot from all of them. And you’re right, hopefully it’s all hypothetical and Dumbledore won’t give us any trouble for it. Can’t think of why he should but I also can’t think of a reason why he couldn’t take your letter idea. So best to be prepared for the worst. It is a shame, she’s got a nasty chronic condition. Shame Remus can’t visit her more, really. Maybe that’ll put you off if you’re suspicious. Did Snape ever tell you? Great, glad we’ve got that sorted and the grounds empty. If she already spent a year with him that might work, she doesn’t seem the type who’d be bothered by him at least. Ha! Yeah, I can see that comparison. Definitely don’t ever wanna know what he’s keeping in his trunk. I feel like keeping him in the dungeons is safer, but I suppose if we put him with -7th year Ravenclaw- somewhere out of the way like the fourth floor corridor that might work. I don’t trust Abbott, way too buddy buddy with baby Black. I don’t know a whole lot about Abbott but I know he’s chummy with Black. Might be better to keep him away from Mulciber in case he’s chummy with him too. If he and Black didn’t get into trouble last year maybe we just keep those two together as much as I’d love to stick Black with someone who’d make him miserable. 

James,

I feel the same. He has such an amazing reputation apparently. But at least as far as Hogwarts goes he does seem to be one of those wizards. Maybe not in other things. I hope. It just feels like a stubborn insistence to keep things the same. If not surely something could be done. Do you really not think I’m being silly? After all we are talking about Dumbledore here. Thank you, I’m glad you don’t. You actually do seem to see where I’m coming from, it’s unexpected. I feel like anyone with eyes could see where I’m coming from. Or at least see it after it’s pointed out. But it feels like no one wants to see it. I wish there were more who did, like you do. That’s so weird to write. That’s the truly frustrating, confusing, and aggravating thing. If Dumbledore can’t, who can? Thank you. I wasn’t expecting you to be so agreeable about listening. I wasn’t intending on venting here. But the fact that you, a pureblood who has never had to deal with any of it, thought anything about the muggleborn experience made all the frustrations over all the people who seemingly have the power to improve things yet don’t bubble over like an under-stirred potion.  I’m not overly surprised it came from one of them, Remus is very intelligent. Sirius Black is just an arse but also unfortunately smart. Peter, not so much, so probably not him. Just going to mention Remus because he’s the only tolerable one among you. Though you are being tolerable right now. I’m not doing it on your account. I’m doing it because it feels like the right thing to do. How full of yourself do you have to be in order to think it would be about you?  I dunno that it matters. You’re Head Boy whatever they think. It would run smoother but that’s Dumbledore’s choice I suppose. Remus and Amelia would make good substitutes. Even if I did enjoy getting this over her.  I think it’s best. I would suggest us but heads usually patrol the areas outside the castle. Remus and Amelia would be good. I don’t think either of them would be intimidated by him. They’d certainly stop him and his accomplice from doing anything. Speaking of, I feel like we ought to put a bloke with him. Maybe Slytherin girls find him attractive and not terrifyingly psycho but sticking a girl down in the dungeons alone with him doesn’t feel right even if she’s possibly as psycho as he is.  

That’s all you’re going to say really? No I told you so’s? No gloating?  Are you really glad? He  was my best friend, or I thought he was anyway. Thank you. I think I might have been better off if he had.

Funny.

Lily

James, 

He does. I know Binns spends most of his time on really ancient history so I dunno how much you know about Grindelwald, but he was really horrible--a lot like Voldemort, really--and Dumbledore stopped him. So--you’re right. I don’t make sense why he doesn’t at least do more at Hogwarts, if not everywhere else. And not just for muggleborns I mean for fucks sake Remus deserves to be head boy! I don’t know how more people don’t see it. I guess for a lot it’s easier not to notice things that don’t directly affect you. Only I think it’s bullshit that anyone thinks treating muggleborns or other groups badly isn’t going to end up affecting them one day too. It’s bad for all of us. Did you really just say you wish there were more people like me? I mean I know you don’t mean it like that but still. You’re welcome. I do think about people other than myself, you know. I’m glad you felt like you could talk to me. Remus is intelligent, and he’s a whole lot more than that too. All my mates are. Even if you don’t see it. Right, of course you aren’t. For fucks sake if the right thing to do is not let just me take the fall its at least partly for my sake. Do what you want but it’s plain stupid for both of us to go down for something like this, if it even comes to that. I guess so. I just think if Dumbledore makes the wrong choice only one of us ought to suffer for it. Seems like a waste to drag you down too. But it’s your call. Remus and Amelia sounds like a good idea, they’re both very capable and I don’t see them being intimidated by him either. Plus she’s not bad looking, maybe it could work out for Remus. Remus’s grandmum is still sick so he’s still gonna have to leave from time to time to see her but one of us can just fill in for him those notes. Fuck if I’m patrolling with you maybe you can fill in for him those nights don’t need anyone on the grounds on a full moon. Sticking him with a Slytherin bloke makes sense, yeah. Which leaves us with either Black, which is a horrible idea, or whoever the new Slytherin prefect is, which could be worse. Guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

I still don’t know how you were friends with him for that long. What finally made you realize what a creep he is? Did he ever say anything to you about Remus?

James,

Feels weird.

It’s so frustrating. Especially knowing Dumbledore is apparently one of those wizards. Thank you, I appreciate that. Why are you being so nice about all of this? Do you really agree with me? Do you really think it should? Thanks. Yeah, I felt like he could have at least listened to more of what I had to say. I still think there should be something more that could be done. Maybe it’s silly of me but it just feels like no one cares. Like muggleborns should just be grateful to be included. That sounds stupid. I’m sure Dumbledore doesn’t think like that. He’s Dumbledore. I’m just still disappointed. But none of this is important to our conversation. Sorry. God, I’m an idiot.  I do like what you said about how frustrating it is to try and fix something when you can’t figure out all the ways they’re broken. More wisdom from your dad? I agree that neither of us should get into trouble for it but it feels wrong to just let you take any blame that happens. Especially when it was basically my idea. As far as respectability, I don’t believe they’d have made you Head Boy if they didn’t think you’d be a respectable one. I hope. Besides what does respectability matter when it comes to doing the right thing? Helping muggle born first years know where to go, and have their first Hogwarts interaction be a positive one, feels like the right thing. Seems to have worked well for him last year. Mulciber really does abuse it. He’s a menace. I vote the dungeons with another Slytherin so maybe he’ll have fewer opportunities to inflict himself on others. Also it seems cruel to make a non-Slytherin team up with him and I certainly don’t want to be alone anywhere with that one.

I probably just gave you new ammo in your weird little feud with him. But I don’t care anymore. Or maybe this is the start of you going in on me about what a terrible person he is and how stupid I was to believe he was anything else. Clearly he likes it that way. Now that he has no more friends with any connections to muggles it’s probably easier for him to keep that impression up. Bully for him, the git.

Ha! That sounds like a dad thing.

Lily

Lily,

Yeah, I guess Dumbledore sort of is one of those wizards, at least when it comes to some things. Hopefully not more. Surely not more. This is the wizard who defeated Grindelwald! I don’t really know what to think of that. Should I be admitting that to you? You’ve been surprisingly open with me. You’re welcome. I mean it. Right! Maybe he does have some information we don’t about why he can’t send better letters but I find it hard to believe there’s no other option. I don’t think it’s silly you feel like that. I dunno why you’re telling me but I get it. I mean, obviously I don’t get it, get it. But I can see where you’re coming from. They don’t make it easy for muggleborns and then when you finally make it to Hogwarts there’s idiots like Mulciber running their mouths. Fuck, you don’t need to explain it to her James she already knows. I know Dumbledore doesn’t agree with everything you have to deal with but it’s frustrating there’s not more he can do about it. If he can’t fix things, who can? You don’t have to be sorry. I don’t mind listening. Or reading, as it were. Just wish I could do something more than that. No, actually. As a matter of fact, hat one came from my friends. They have their wise moments too, believe it or not. Like I said, I won’t stop you if you wanna take the blame with me, but don’t do it on my account. Did you just sort of admit I might be a respectable head boy? Guess we’ll see if the rest of the castle agrees with their take on respectability. Which is a bullshit take on it because Remus should have this bloody badge. I guess it doesn’t matter, just thought things might run smoother if one of the two head students doesn’t get  in trouble for something before we even make it to the castle. Guess we’ll stick to that for him this year, then. In the dungeons with another Slytherin does seem like the place he can do the least damage. I sort of hate to stick him with someone who might enable him but you’re right, I don’t want to saddle anyone else with him. It’d be downright dangerous. Maybe we should put some of the better prefects on the first floor so they’ll notice if Mulciber tries anything. 

Whoa, hang on, did you finally see the Snivellus is a creepy prick light?? Shit. Good for you. Sorry it took so long. I don’t know what to say now. You know my feelings on him so I won’t say anything other than I’m glad it sounds like he didn’t give you any trouble before you got to Hogwarts. 

Sure is!

James,

First name basis feels a little more friendlier, I think. The question is do we want to be friendlier. I’m not so sure.

I’m glad, because I didn’t mean it to be rude. Another thing I agree with you on. This is starting to be a bad habit. It wouldn’t be so terrible that there were so many things if most wizards didn’t seem so keen on keeping things as is. I’d hoped it would be a starting point really. But even if nothing else changed it still seemed like it would be so much better. I can’t believe you’re agreeing with me about being disappointed in him. Wow. I don’t like that we have reason to be disappointed in him, but it was really a blow when he said no. I know I should accept that he knows about the statue of secrecy and what risks are acceptable better than I do. But I can’t help feeling that I know more about how jarring it is to be a muggleborn than he does. And that maybe that should count for something. I should erase that. But ou agree with me and I’ve never told anyone that before. I can’t believe James Potter is the going to be the first person I tell. I really do have terrible judgment. I like that one of us will be outside the platform this year at least. That’s very nice of you to take on any punishment. And maybe you know more about who he’d be more inclined to be forgiving towards. But if he does have a problem with it I think we should both accept consequences if there are any. After all, we’re a team now, apparently, and this is a team decision. Oh I mean before school. But you’re right, better to do it via owl. Stupid of me to suggest meeting before school. No one wants that. No, you’re right, a jumpstart  on things would be good. At least he’s a good prefect in the right conditions, as opposed to Mulciber, who I don’t understand why he’s allowed to be one.

That’s all you have to say? I suppose so. He was the first person not to think I was a freak. Except he did think I was a freak. A mud blood freak. So I guess that was wrong. He was the first wizard I met.

So your whole thing is about outdoing your dad? I can’t decide if that’s worse or better. I suppose that makes sense. Yeah, it can be annoying. Especially when the good corny advice is coming from you.

Lily

Lily,

I think so too. Hopefully that’s a good thing.

Guess I’ll take that. I appreciate that. Are you ill, agreeing with me so much? Yes, that does seem to be the root of the problem. Lots of things that are backwards that no one wants to change. I think it would be a great starting point, and you’d know even better than I would obviously. Sorry he said no. I’m kind of surprised you’re telling me all this. It feels sort of personal. But I’m glad you trust me enough to say it. I think it should count for something. Not that you’ve ever cared about my opinion, or even like it matters here. Seems to me like maybe Dumbledore could stand to benefit from my dad’s advice about listening a bit more. Even if he couldn’t send out the letters exactly like you wanted, it seems like there should be something more that could be done. I dunno. It’s frustrating trying to fix things when you can’t even figure out all the ways they’re broken. Moony and Padfoot taught me that. Are we a team now? If you want to take on that risk too I won’t stop you, but I don’t see why both of us should get in trouble for something that neither of us should get in trouble for. And between the two of us you’re obviously already the more respectable head student. Wait did you mean meet before school? No, obviously you didn’t. Yeah the right conditions, with a “respectable” Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff and kept out of the dungeons, I’d guess? I don’t know how Mulciber is a Prefect either. Everyone knows he abuses the badge. Guess the best we can hope for with him is to put him somewhere he can cause the fewest problems. 

You suppose so? What does that mean? Why were you ever friends with that prick? Huh. Wouldn’t have guessed he was from a muggle town given the people he hangs out with. 

I think the fact its annoying makes my dad like giving it even more.

James,

Evans. Lily. Evans, because I don’t want you getting too friendly…ridiculous. I prefer Lily, thank you for asking. Finally. Do you prefer James or Potter? So much for my high horse when I haven’t even asked.

I hope it didn’t come across as rude. I’m surprised that we agree on this. You seem so establishment despite your antics. At least your background does. But truthfully I don’t know if that’s my opinion or one I was helped into. I’m glad you agree. I also agree that it isn’t just Hogwarts. Which is why finding a wizard occupation is so bloody difficult. One would think that would be a good starting point. I can’t decide if I should take that as a compliment or not. Yeah, it was too bad. I was, if I’m honest, disappointed that he did. That feels a bit like breaking a rule only I’ve never heard of the rule. I think I like that. But you came up with it so it annoys me that I like it. If you’re serious about thinking it’s a good idea we could both do it, or one of us there and one of us in the Prefect cabin in case anyone shows up early? Probably that one. Do you have a preference? Surely Dumbledore wouldn’t object when he finds out what we’ve done. And if he does it’s too late. How do you know Amelia? I would’t think you were her type. Perfect. Discussing them in person might be easier but we can also do it via owl if you’d rather. I’m sure you probably know more about Regulus than I do but he seems to do a better job when he’s paired with someone that’s not a fellow Slytherin. As far as Mulciber, well I’m sure you do know all you need to, truthfully.

Do you really not know Severus and I knew each other? I guess I can see how you wouldn’t. Probably should get this over with. Severus and I are from the same town. There, berate me for thinking he could ever be a good friend. Might as well get that out of the way.

Was your dad anything like you? Probably shouldn’t be surprised to know he was. Of course you’d get it from somewhere. I don’t know who I feel worse for your poor future wife or the staff at Hogwarts for having to take on another Potter. Seems like odd advice coming from a Potter. Odder still that you’ve listened to it. But I can’t deny you do seem to be a good quidditch captain, even if it is annoying. It is a little corny but it does seem to be good advice. Thanks for sharing.

Lily

Lily,

Lily it is then. I always thought Evans had a nice ring to it... I don’t mind much either way, but might be nice to be on a first name basis. So James, I suppose.

I wouldn’t call it rude, no. A bit blunt, maybe. As nice as it is to agree on something, I wish it was something else. Which is to say I wish there weren’t so many things we wizards could do better at, in and out of Hogwarts. Seems like a good starting point to me. Did you just say you’re disappointed in Dumbledore? I am a bit too, if I’m honest. Actually not even just a bit, I’m really fucking disappointed. I guess he has his reasons, I dunno. Nice we’ve found something we can help with, at least. I think one of us in the prefect cabin and one outside the platform makes sense. I can take the platform, that way if Dumbledore does have a problem with it he can just take it out on me. You’re the one who wanted to be Head student anyways. Maybe he’ll decide to give Remus the badge after all if he gets pissed, and Remus can’t get mad at me for blowing it because this is something I think a good head student should actually do. But I don’t think he will, really. This feels like one of those cases of better to ask forgiveness than permission. We can discuss in person if you’d rather, just thought it might be nice to get a jumpstart on things before we get to school. Sounds about right for Black. 

Fucking hell, Snape? It’s Snape? That blood purist shit is from a muggle town? I wonder if his death eater club knows. So is that why you’re friends with him? That would at least make a little more sense than his personality. 

Oh yeah. He likes to say he didn’t get into as much trouble, but my mum always calls him out on it whenever he does. He’s got a lot of fun Hogwarts stories, I always wanted to make sure I had plenty of my own. Bit annoying how sometimes the corny advice is good, don’t you think? But you’re welcome, glad you liked it. 

James,

So you do know my first name isn’t Evans. Are you really willing to learn? You always seem like a such a smug know-it-all. I’ll admit that when I first found out about you being named Head Boy I had concerns that it might be. More like concerns you’d be an utter arse. But so far it seems as though it will be a good thing. Hogwarts could use a little less doing things the way they’ve always been. That’s very nice of you to give them a helping hand as it were. They really don’t tell muggleborn students much of anything. We were shown how to get into Diagon but we were on our own when it came to finding the shops and all. Well not entirely, Severus told me a lot of things. Luckily I knew a wizard pre-Hogwarts so I had some idea but it was still a lot. I can’t believe we’ve had the same idea. Sadly, Dumbledore said that it wouldn’t be prudent to give a more detailed letter to muggleborn families. Too much risk, according to him. I tried to suggest something similar a few years ago. The best we could probably do is one of us help direct muggleborns to the platform. Unless you want to hang around Diagon trying to locate confused muggleborns and their families by chance. There’s always the Prefects at least, we can certainly work to make first year Prefects more comfortable. I’m not sure how I feel about all this comparisons between this and quidditch. Especially since a lot of it seems to be making some sense. It’s annoying. As is the fact that you’re so willing to admit I know most of them better than you. Unless it’s your way of reminding me you got this without any work on your part. If you’d like to discuss the returning prefects, I’m open to that. There’s certainly some merit about strengths and weaknesses.

That was dumb, I should have just ignored that part. Would you really tell your kids about your exploits at Hogwarts? Is this where I’m supposed to say something about you getting it from him because I am not going to stroke your ego and tell you that you’er smart. He seems like it, please let me know if he has any other tips from his time as Head Boy.

Is that your way of saying we won’t? Hopefully.

Lily

Lily, 

Do you prefer Lily or Evans? I’m realizing now I never actually asked. 

I appreciate the honesty. Even if it stings a bit. Am I really that bad? Glad you think it’s a good thing so far. I tend to agree with you that Hogwarts could stand to change up a few things. More than just Hogwarts, frankly. But not just dropping muggleborns in Diagon and saying ‘good luck’ seems like a good starting point. I should have figured you’d have already asked Dumbledore about sending more details. I gotta say, I have a lot of respect for Dumbledore but sometimes I just don’t get his choices. Too bad he said no. One of us directing muggleborns to the Platform is a good idea, though. And I don’t see why we’d have to ask Dumbledore’s permission for that one. So he can’t say no. And it’ll be good to help put the new prefects at ease. I’d definitely like to hear your take on the returning ones. I know a few of them--Remus, obviously, and Amelia Bones. Reckon I know all I need to about Mulciber and Black. But the others I don’t know as well, so I’ll defer to your thoughts on how we ought to divvy up responsibilities. 

Also, you knew a wizard before Hogwarts? That’s wild! Small world, huh? 

And of course I’ll tell my kids about my exploits at Hogwarts! My dad told me all about his. I’ve just asked him for more tips and he said the same thing he said when I made quidditch captain: The most important thing a leader can do is listen. It’s a bit corny, but I reckon it’s good advice. Helped me with quidditch, at least. 

James,

Why do I feel bad now? You’re actually not being a prat about this. And seem like you’re going to take it seriously. Or I’m being soft and you’re going to be an absolute arse. I hope I don’t hate myself for this. The important thing is you’re wiling to learn. But also maybe it’s not the worst thing that you don’t know how things have been done. After all your ideas so far have been really good. Are they yours or your dad’s? Probably yours, I’ve never known you to take credit for something that isn’t yours. I’m annoyed.  Hogwarts has always seemed to enjoy making things as confusing as possible. Some of us don’t have wizard parents and we don’t get any information except for a list of supplies and a time to be at the train. They don’t even tell us how to get to the platform. So maybe not odd, just the way Hogwarts does things. I’m more than happy to do things differently. That’s actually a pretty good way of putting it. I’m not sure if half our job would be done exactly but it will keep us from having more problems then we need if we make sure the Prefects know what they need to know ahead of time.

It’s weird to hear you talk about having kids. They’ll probably be bloody nightmares. I skipped over the part about the pin since my reply about the learning curve you have felt like it went well with how Hogwarts operates. But I suppose you could end up with a weird story to tell your kids. Not that you’ll have any shortage of those I’m sure. I also agree that having good dads is something we’re both lucky to have. Yours sounds very smart.

I’m glad we’re on the same page too. Bit too soon to decide if this is going to be better than I anticipated though.

Lily

Evans Lily,

Sorry, did you just say my ideas have been good? Really good? No way I’m writing to Lily Evans. Is that you, Padfoot? Thanks. I’m nothing if not willing to learn. Glad you don’t think my fresh perspective, as it were, is a complete hinderance. I’ve always sort of wondered about that. Always seems like I see a few very surprised and confused muggle families in Diagon near the start of term. We always help point them in the right direction, but it always seemed odd there was no one there helping them, or at least giving them better directions. Glad we can at least help the new Prefects. Probably too late to get together detailed letters for the muggleborns. But at least we can help them once they’re at Hogwarts. And make sure the Prefects know where to be. Is it? I’m glad. Maybe if some of my quidditch captain skills translate I won’t be a complete rubbish Head Boy. That makes sense. Another lesson I’ve learned from quidditch is to plan around your team’s strengths and weaknesses. I’ll be relying on you for that one, since you know most of the prefects better than I do. 

Right, makes sense. You probably could have just left it that, I was mostly joking and I’m not even sure if you think it’s funny. Probably not. Ha! No, I certainly will not have a shortage of stories to tell them. Oh yeah, he’s a smart one too. 

Hopefully we can stay on it. 

Potter,

That’s nice. Ah, doesn’t wanna overwhelm you, makes sense. Especially considering you weren’t even a prefect. Why are you Head Boy, James? Are you making fun of me now? I can never tell with you. Can’t get much safer than a sticking charm, I don’t think. I hate that that’s a good idea. I do, he’s a great dad.

Great! I didn’t know. We wouldn’t need to ask for the names because I was a prefect last year so I’m sure I’d be able to pick out the new prefects. Does that sound rude? It seems like you’re really trying and this isn’t a bad idea at all. I like that idea. We can help them start off well while also keeping us on track too. And maybe if we message them ahead of time if they have any questions or anything they’ll feel more comfortable about asking us.

Good. I’m glad we can too. I really want this to go smoothly for everyone’s sake.

Welcome. Lily

Evans,

Is that a dig at me? Even if it is what do I even say to that? That I don’t want this? That I’ve got no idea what I’m doing and I’m not even sure if I wanna do a good job because that might just make Remus feel worse? Right, I’m coming in with a bit of a learning curve. Might as well acknowledge the Hippogriff in the room. I wouldn’t think so either. I suppose worst case is I end up with my own weird story to tell my kids someday. Glad to hear it, something we’re lucky to have in common then. 

Seems odd they don’t tell people when not everyone has a former prefect dad who can fill them in. Did you just admit you like my idea? Is this really Lily Evans I’m writing to? Have you taken ill? Great! Exactly, my dad said the Prefects are like our teammates. We set them up for success and half our job is done already. At least that’s what works for quidditch. Seems like making sure the Prefects know they can ask us their questions is at least a good start for this too. 

I do too. Glad we’re on the same page about that. Might be a first.

Potter,

Easier? Considering you’ve got it without ever being Prefect I don’t see how. Well maybe he can give you some more pointers. Aside from the pin. I’ll be sure to double check my pin. The last thing I need is to lose it with you around to mess with me about it. He sounds like my dad with some of his school stories. Guess that’s a dad thing. Why did I write that? I doubt our dads are anything alike.

10:30 sounds good. I was planning on getting there early anyway. I’m so nervous I’m going to be late or mess this up. It’s going to be hard enough without messing up on the first day. Sometimes no one tells them where the cabin is. And there  are a lot of cabins! Plus you never know, the excitement of seeing friends again someone might forget to come to the cabin. I don’t know if that’s ever happened but people have been late before.

You’re apologizing? I didn’t think you knew how. I’m glad you know I don’t hate your guts. I’m sure you have plenty of fans without me being one. Well you’ve apologized so of course it won’t affect our ability to work together.  An apology goes a long way.

Apology accepted.

Lily

Evans

I’m sure he will, my dad gives great advice. Think he’s just starting with the lighter stuff since he knows I’m not exactly thrilled about this given it should be Remus’s badge. I’ll be double-checking my pin as well, though. Maybe a sticking charm for the first day, just to be safe. Does he? Sounds like a Dad thing, you must have a good one too. 

Great! I’ll make sure I’m there then. That’s a good point, I don’t think Remus knew. And now he does and I’ve never been in there because I wasn’t even a freaking Prefect! Maybe we could ask for the names of the new Prefects and send them owls so they won’t be surprised on their first day? Would have been nice if someone did that for Remus.

Really?? That’s it? No speech about how I’m an irresponsible, pompous prat? I do know that. Sorry again. Glad we can move past that. Too bad we can’t move past all the reasons you always seem like you hate my guts. I dunno how many apologies that would take. 

Thanks.

Potter,

Your dad was Head Boy? Hmm I wonder if that’s why Dumbledore gave it to you. Truthfully it just sounds like he’s like you. Probably played catch with it or something. But just in case it’s something real…. Why would we lose the badge?

That sounds like a good plan. Being there first really is a good way to get off on the right foot. Plus we’ll know sooner rather than later if there’s any problems, like a prefect not there. Sometimes the first time prefects forget they’re supposed to meet in the Prefects cabin. I don’t hate your guts! I jsut find you really condescending and annoying at times. It’s not my fault, you could be a little less full of yourself James Potter! Seeing as how you’re the one who likes poking at me to see how far you can go before I lose my temper, I feel like it’s only natural to be concerned about how well our partnership will go.

Lily

Did you write me trying to pick a fight?

Evans,

He was. He likes to joke it was easier to get back then. But I’m pretty sure it’s easier now seeing as I got it. In his case it was not fastening it tight enough. He’s mostly joking, he just really likes to tell the story about how he lost his badge on his first day as Head Boy because he didn’t fasten it right and somehow it ended up in his Head of House’s mashed potatoes at dinner. Only the place it ended up changes every time he tells it, so I’m certain he’s exaggerating. I’m mostly worried about a dog or a rat stealing mine. 

Did you just agree with me? Great! We can get that at 10:30 then? That’s a good point about prefects maybe not knowing. 

FUCK!!! You weren’t supposed to read that what the fuck do I do now?? Brilliant job James, off to just a smashing smart you bloody troll. 

.....I’m sorry. This is embarrassing. The truth is I didn’t mean to write that. I mean, I know I wrote it, but I meant to erase that bit and I guess I got distracted. I don’t really think you hate my guts. At least I hope you don’t. Though I’m well aware you’re no fan of mine, not to worry there. I’m not trying to get you to lose your temper, you do that all on your own. Most people find me charming and I’ve no idea why you don’t. Why am I still writing shit I don’t want you to read, have I learned nothing??? I hope my mistake won’t affect our ability to work together. 

Apologies again,

Potter,

I bet it was a pleasant surprise. Poor Remus, this is so unfair!

I’m glad to hear that you will do everything you can to make sure they don’t regret it. I’m so surprised you never thought about it. Are you wanting to hear my ideas so you can take credit for them yourself? You’ve got plenty of time to prepare yourself for the role of Head Boy. I’m sure you can manage, you’ve always been a quick learner. Which is very annoying by the way! The most pressing thing we must do is set a timetable for the prefects to patrol the train. And of course it would be good if we could be a united front for the prefects. They’re not going to respect us if we aren’t. We can squabble in private, if yo umust.

Lily

Evans,

Did you think I wouldn’t? Why do you always think so little of me but you spend so much time with greasy Snivellus? I suppose that’s true. My dad had been enjoying sharing all his pearls of Head Boy wisdom, most of which consist of tips on how to not lose the badge. Apparently that’s something we should be worried about. 

I didn’t realize we were in charge of the trains. Right, that sounds doable. I suppose we could put a plan together and get to the Platform early, make sure we’re in the Prefects cabin before all the Prefects arrive? Seems a good way to get off on the right foot. And with a united front. Funny you’re the one who thinks that’s a problem given you’re the one who hates my guts. 

Potter,

Are you having a go at me? Or is this your way of saying I’m a stick in the mud?

Amazing how you manage to be an insufferable prick while congratulating me.

I wish it was Remus instead. It should have been him.

Thank you. I’m honored that Dumbledore and Professor McGonagal trust me with this. Surprised they trust you. Congratulations to you as well, it’s a surprising jump from not being Prefect to Head Boy. I’m sure you must be pleased.

I don’t know, are you capable of setting aside anything and being a decent Head Boy? I certainly hope things run smoothly. We have a lot of responsibilities resting on our shoulders. I’m going to be furious if you and Sirius mess this up.

Thanks for writing,

Lily Evans

Evans,

Was that a dig at me? Thank you. I’m not pleased, Remus should be the one with the badge and now he’s pissed at me only he’s pretending not to be and maybe he’s just pissed at himself which is worse than him being pissed at me and I didn’t even ask for this, I want it to be Remus, it’s bullshit that he’s not but there’s nothing I can do, Dumbledore said if I sent the badge back again he’ll give it to someone else entirely and what if that’s Mulciber? It was a pleasant surprise. I’ll certainly do everything I can to make sure they don’t regret trusting me.

That we do. I can’t say I spent much time thinking over what I’d do if I was ever Head Boy, since frankly I never thought it would be me with the badge. But now that I’ve got it I hope I can do something good with it. I’m sure you have better ideas than I do, so I look forward to hearing them. 

Congratulations on making Head Girl! Not a surprise at all, it’s very well deserved. 

I’m a bit surprised to be

I dunno why it’s me, it should be Remus

In case you’re wondering I already owled Dumbledore to ask if he made a mistake and then owled him again saying it should go to Remus and I can be a Prefect but he said no

I’m looking forward to working with you this year. I trust we can set our differences aside for the sake of making things run smoothly.  

Cheers,

Maybe Prongs had a point, he usually did, that talking about it was a good start. After all it wasn’t something he normally did. “It’s not easy talking about it,” he admitted. “I have all this shit in my head.” Something he knew Prongs knew even if tonight was the first time he’d been as openly honest about it. James was smart. Even if he wasn’t it was probably hard to miss the fact that things had always been shit at Grimmauld. Sirius always had trouble sleeping but it was always worse the first few weeks after Christmas Break, took nearly a month after summer.  Because he just couldn’t be alone with his thoughts. Then there were the nightmares that started after he’d run away. “Your voice is in there too, though,” he added. Sirius wanted James to know that he had listened and it did help. It was just really hard not to listen to everything else. He smiled when Prongs thanked him. “Always.” Sirius managed a quiet chuckle at Prongs’s smirk. He nodded at the additional words Prongs had to say about Reg. “He is a brat. But you wren’t wrong, he did take the mark. Tried his damndest to be one of them.” Sirius felt guilt over that, Regulus had made his choice, what choice there was, but he still felt like he’d made the circumstances worse for Reg. “Thanks, though, for being so great about him staying here. I know that wasn’t ideal.” Especially not after he started bringing his boyfriend over. Regulus almost seemed more sullen, at least when Drew wasn’t around, after that.

James was, as always, being rational. While Sirius felt very undone at the seems even worse than usual. He knew blood didn’t matter. It hadn’t mattered that Remus had werewolf in him. It never mattered to him if someone was pure, half, or muggle born. Because it was dumb to think blood mattered. Right up to the point that he thought it mattered with his own blood. His family felt like poison. To the point that sometimes he was almost surprised to see blood coming from a cut and not some foul smelling poison like his grandparents had in the basement. Maybe thinking that had just made it easier to believe there was something wrong with all of them, himself included. Despite knowing corny could be James’s middle name  he wasn’t prepared for the corniness of the remark about him being the something good that came from his parents. It was a testament to how heavy the night was that he didn’t roll his eyes, or make some other kind of reaction to those words. Instead the reaction came next, a raised eyebrow when Prongs mentioned Regulus. Maybe he’d died. Or hit his head. Because there was no way James Potter was saying anything good about Regulus. Only this wasn’t the first time tonight he had. It was just coming right after the part about how he could have followed along,  something Regulus had been bullied into, made the comment seem even more out of character for Prongs. It was true. Reg was a brat. He’d let himself get lost in being the good son until he was almost lost completely. That didn’t mean there was nothing good in him. But he didn’t think Prongs agreed on that one. Regulus was too much of a stubborn arse for Sirius to claim he’d taken all the bad before Reg came along. Or him and this Nik bloke, he guessed. Not being the oldest Black brother was another hit to his already fragile sense of self. Right now Sirius didn’t think he had the energy to bring up another problem. Instead he sighed before answering. “I’m gonna try. It’s just… It’s hard to even know where to start.” They’d already said that but it was still true.  “Thanks mate, for…” There was so much to thank James for it seemed impossible to put it all into words. “For being my brother,”  he settled on. James and Moony were a whole lot better than his family. More his family than those of blood relations. Maybe it was time he stopped thinking in terms of them having no say in that and instead remembered that they actually picked him too. Mutual instead of one side being unfairly burdened. Even if it did still feel a little like James was very much burdened. It was hard to let that all go in one night. “Are you alright, Prongs? After all that nice shit you said about Reg.” The words weren’t up to his usual sarcasm standard but he felt like that couldn’t go by without acknowledging it. After all the heaviness doing it this way felt easier.

It was almost gratifying, in a way, to see Sirius’s clear surprise when James said another nice thing about Regulus. It had been so difficult to get out it would have been sort of disappointing if it had no effect. But mostly he was just glad that Sirius seemed to actually listen to his words. As much as James wished again that they would have some magical effect and fix everything, Sirius agreeing to try felt like a good step. Just him talking about all of this was huge. “Talking about it’s a good start, I think.” James just wished he could do a lot more. He shook his head at Padfoot’s thanks, but the other finished before James could tell him no thanks was needed. He smiled. “Thanks for being my brother.” His smile faltered when Padfoot asked if he was okay; the last thing Padfoot should be doing right now was worrying about him. But a second later and James managed a small smirk. “Honestly, I may never recover,” he said before dropping the smirk and shaking his head. “No, I’m alright. I’m still not a fan of his and I think he’s a brat,” he said, because those felt like okay things to say about Padfoot’s brother, all things considered. They were definitely nicer than the little brat deserved. “But you were right not to give up on him,” he added softly, though it was hard to admit it after all those years of urging Sirius to let his idiot brother go, to write him off as a lost cause like the rest of his Death Eater relatives. It felt like he owed it to Padfoot to acknowledge he’d been right after all, even if James doubted he would ever actually like the kid.