PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@hootymocker
this is so fucking funny
i love everyone saying “this is before the day 1 patch so you shouldn’t judge it” when did we get so fucking cucked that we think it’s not ok to judge a product as it is on release and that we have to wait for the post-release crunch session patch to kick in before we say anything critical.
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I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
polar opposite of this post
inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this
This is really beautiful!!!
for all you writers out there:
donjon has tons of generators. for calendars. for demographics of a country and city. for names (both fantastical and historical) of people, nations, magics, etc.
this site lets you generate/design a city, allowing you to choose size, if you want a river or coast, walls around it, a temple, a main keep, etc.
this twitter, uncharted atlas, tweets generated maps of fantasy regions every hour.
and vulgar allows you to create a language, based on linguistic and grammatical structures!!! go international phonetic alphabet!!!
The Landvættir
What are the landvættir?
The landvættir (lands - vayt - teer) are Norse spirits that guard the land. They are fiercely protective of their land, and capable of causing great harm to those who destroy it, however, they are also capable of blessing those who have earned their favor. The old Norse people took great care in maintaining favor with these spirits, and even after they had converted to Christianity they continued honoring the landvættir.
The land that landvættir inhabit varies greatly in size, ranging from a specific rock to a portion of a country. A good indicator that a place is inhabited by landvættir is that the land is significantly prettier and greener than the land around it. They’re animistic in nature, being directly tied to their land.
The landvættir are powerful spirits, and not to be taken lightly, they have the power to destroy your life should you get on their bad side. On the flipside, they also have the power to bring great good into your life if you’ve earned their favor.
[Image ID: a photo taken from the rim of a small canyon. There sre many pine trees growing in the area, and the bottom of the canyon is covered in scrub oak bushes and other small brush. End ID]
Earning the favor of the landvættir
I find the best way to earn the favor of the landvættir is offerings, along with, obviously, respecting their land. The landvættir like offerings that come from nature, I usually offer them herbs, vegetables, and fruit I grow in my garden, I’ll also pick up garbage in their space as an offering for them. I’ve heard they enjoy honey and milk as offerings as well, but I’ve never offered those myself. I feel this sort of goes without saying, only give the landvættir what is yours to give, they won’t appreciate you picking flowers from their land as offerings for them. I personally find that they prefer what you’ve grown yourself over store-bought herbs and plants, though that’s certainly not to say you can’t offer something store-bought.
You can give offerings to the landvættir just as you would any other spirit, though I’d strongly suggest leaving offerings that are safe for local wildlife to eat. Caring for the animals that live on the landvættir’s land will only improve your relationship with them. that being said, be careful not to attract bears, giving them a frequent enough food source can be dangerous to both you and the bear.
If you’re ever going to drastically change a piece of land, it’s always polite to warn the landvættir in advance so they have time to prepsre for the change. If someone was going to bulldoze your home you’d at least want a heads up so you could move out beforehand.
[Image ID: a narrow, rocky pathway descending down an approximately 30ft tall cliff. A thin oak tree grows on the wall-edge of the path. Below is a shady, forested area filled with pine trees and scrub oak bushes. End ID]
My experiences with the landvættir
I’m lucky enough to live in a rural area, and places to connect with nature are all around me. One of my favorite spots is a canyon (the same canyon from the photos) sandwiched between my street and the next, it’s a natural hot spot for wildlife, a very spiritual place, and home to landvættir
I’ve always protected this canyon in my own ways, picking up litter and protecting wildlife, so the landvættir already had a favorable disposition to me. I give the landvættir offerings most of the times I visit the canyon, and in return the landvættir have led me to bones I use in my practice and allow me to take ingredients from the area. Out of respect, before I do any spellwork in the canyon I always request their permission to do so first, and leave an offering of gratitude afterwards, the same goes with taking anything from the canyon
[Image ID: a circle of stones, lined with pinecones, approximately 4 feet in diameter, a medium-sized rock with a dip on the middle sits in the center of the circle. End ID]
I don’t have a traditional altar to the landvættir, instead I have a circle of rocks and pinecones in a small area of the canyon. I use a flat rock to present my offerings, and allow local wildlife to eat them.
Whenever I visit the lower part of the canyon, I always wear natural colors as in my personal experience the landvættir don’t like bright and unnatural colors.
all photos in this post were taken by me and may not be used without my permission
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July is disability awareness month but a lot of people tend to forget it :/ :/ :/
It’s all OK if you didn’t know, don’t feel bad about it, it’s a great occasion to listen to disabled people! We might not have pretty flags who will catch your attentions like during pride months, but we’re still here!
To clarify, now that I’ve looked it up, in the US at least July is specifically ADA Awareness Month. A great thing to do this month is look up laws surrounding pwd and our property.
Some examples:
Grabbing a mobility device (wheelchair, cane, walker, etc) without permission is assault.
Pushing someone’s wheelchair without permission is kidnapping.
Service dog teams are not required to carry any paperwork or certificates with them.
It’s also a good time to look at laws that need to be changed or better enforced:
People on disability income cannot get married without losing their benefits.
People on disability income cannot have more than $2000, including property value (my $300 mattress counts against it), which means they cannot save money if they don’t know about ABLE accounts.
Airlines habitually break the law by mistreating passengers’ wheelchairs.
Accessible construction is still considered an afterthought rather than a cornerstone of design. And no matter what construction companies say, it’s only more expensive to be accessible if you’re tearing up existing features to add ramps and such later, rather than doing it from the get-go.
Disabled people are routinely murdered by doctors who determine that they have no “quality of life” and are better off dead.
All these things disproportionately affect disabled people of color. Educate yourself, attend a virtual town hall meeting if you can, and bring these things up. Make things better.
Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.
It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.
no white gay boy will ever reblog this, watch:
no white gay will reblog this
no white lgb person will reblog this
Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.
and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”
but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?
The same fuckers who won’t ever reblog or acknowledge this
My apologies to the original poster as I photo captured this post to add to the thread-I reposted this last year for pride and expect to repost it every year I have left-it’s our history people.
Marsha P. Johnson allegedly died of suicide in 1992, and her death was never investigated. Even I, a mere prole, could catch the “she was murdered” vibes from the circumstances surrounding the discovery of her body.
Without a trans black woman, LGBT+ rights would not exist. Never forget. Never “pay it no mind”.
R E M E M B E R
And whatever you do, don’t watch that awful movie Stonewall. Go watch a documentary on Marsha P. Johnson instead.
brazilian government thinking abt leaving the world health org in the middle of a pandemic……………… deleting the deaths/infected numbers from official websites…………. pretending brazil isnt the #2 country w the most infected rn………………. 600k+ ppl infected……. nearly 1k deaths A DAY!…….. i’m gonna cry
i wasn’t gonna make this post a big of a deal but i was thinking and… please pay attention to brazil.
most cities are either going back to “normal” (re-opening business, public transportation, parks/beaches) or, like são paulo and rio, they never went fully quarantined. those are also the most dense cities in brazil, and… the cities with the most cases.
we are reaching 30 days without a health minister because the last two were fired directly by the president, when they were doing according to what the world health org said.
https://brazilian.report/coronavirus-brazil-live-blog/
https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-latin-america-52367849/coronavirus-advice-ignored-by-brazil-s-president-jair-bolsonaro?intlink_from_url=&link_location=live-reporting-map
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-52307339
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/05/brazil-coronavirus-covid-19-virus-doctor
https://www.france24.com/en/20200606-bolsonaro-threatens-to-quit-who-as-covid-19-kills-a-brazilian-per-minute
with the blm movement news spreading, the main cities in brazil are organizing/organized protests in support, only to be faced with police brutality and violence;
https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/06/03/brazil-suffers-its-own-scourge-police-brutality “To put that in perspective, imagine police in the United States killing at a similar rate; they would be responsible for more than 36,000 deaths each year. Instead, US police shoot and kill about 1,000 people per year.“
some politicians are also trying to pass another law that would put antifas in the same category as terrorists.
https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/06/06/bras-j06.html “Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro once again denounced demonstrators joining marches in five Brazilian cities held in solidarity with the protests in United States as “terrorists” and “outcasts” aiming to “break the country.“
not to mention that deforastation is taking its peak as we speak right now. rodrigo salles, our environment minister, said that “we should take advantage of covid to loosen the anti-deforastation laws”
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jun/05/the-guardian-view-on-brazil-and-the-amazon-dont-look-away
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/06/world/americas/amazon-deforestation-brazil.html
https://news.mongabay.com/2020/05/brazil-minister-advises-using-covid-19-to-distract-from-amazon-deregulation/
“In a Brazilian cabinet meeting Environment Minister Ricardo Salles was caught on video declaring that the COVID-19 pandemic which has killed more than 23,000 of his fellow citizens offers a distraction during which the government can “run the cattle herd” through the Amazon, “changing all the rules and simplifying standards.”
so, i know things are getting hard for everyone. but please, pay attention to what’s happening in brazil.
Where can I donate
If you want to donate, check out Mães da Favela, a campaign to aid women and their families living in the Brazilian favelas. These women are very often the sole breadwinners of their families, and a good amount of them are self-employed and don’t have any kind of safety net.
Another good place to donate is Mulheres da Luz, an organization that offers aid, medical care and legal assistance to women in prostitution in São Paulo. This is an incredibly vulnerable population that became even more vulnerable with the pandemic.
I don’t know how these organizations handle international donations, but send them and e-mail, they’re legit people and I’m sure they can arrange something.
I learned in a Latin Studies class (with a chill white dude professor) that when the Europeans first saw Aztec cities they were stunned by the grid. The Aztecs had city planning and that there was no rational lay out to European cities at the time. No organization.
When the Spanish first arrived in Tenochtitlan (now downtown mexico city) they thought they were dreaming. They had arrived from incredibly unsanitary medieval Europe to a city five times the size of that century’s london with a working sewage system, artificial “floating gardens” (chinampas), a grid system, and aqueducts providing fresh water. Which wasn’t even for drinking! Water from the aqueducts was used for washing and bathing- they preferred using nearby mountain springs for drinking. Hygiene was a huge part if their culture, most people bathed twice a day while the king bathed at least four times a day. Located on an island in the middle of a lake, they used advanced causeways to allow access to the mainland that could be cut off to let canoes through or to defend the city. The Spanish saw their buildings and towers and thought they were rising out of the water. The city was one of the most advanced societies at the time.
Anyone who thinks that Native Americans were the savages instead of the filthy, disease ridden colonizers who appeared on their land is a damn fool.
They’ve also recently discovered a lost Native American city in Kansas called Etzanoa It rivals the size of Cahokia, which was very large as well.
here are some reconstructions of Tenochtitlan
just a note, we don’t think of old european cities as ruins, because those civilizations continued and kept building over the old–there are no abandoned ruins for us to visit & photograph. when we picture those old cities, we have only mental images drawn from our own assumptions & prejudices–images that tend to glorify ‘civilized’ europe.
since victors write history, our image of native american cities was created by colonizers motivated to uphold the ‘native savage’ myth. when we think of these civilizations now, we think of ‘uncivilized’ (rough, broken, abandoned) ruins, because that’s what remains. ruins are the only thing left. because of the destruction wrought by western invaders, these civilizations never had a chance to continue building. they were destroyed, and all we have left is an unimaginative shadow of their former glory.
went to peru and visited some of their museums and learned inca history that american schools don’t teach you. basically you know why they were beaten out by the spanish invaders? because incas were mostly scientists and not warriors. they had advanced medicine, farming and science technology. THATS what they were good at - tech - not building weapons to most efficiently kill people. the spanish were good at that. so they won. basically the real savages and thugs won and murdered a bunch of scientists, and their technology and advancements are lost forever. it took into the 20th century for colonizer technology to advance in the field of medicine and agriculture to the level of the incas. colonizers literally set human knowledge back like 500 years.
This reminds me of the current situation in Australia. How? There wasn’t a problem with bush fires until Europeans (British) colonised and disregarded indigenous land management (and the rest).
Likewise, Spanish invaders wiped out Tenochtitlan and built what is now Mexico City in its place with no regard for anything or anyone, including indigenous knowledge on how the area needed to be managed. This is why Mexico City has major problems with structural stability, why the cathedral and adjoining church are sinking/collapsing. The whole city is sinking, and running out of water. And it goes back to the failure to understand and appreciate pre-Spanish knowledge.
All of this.
Don’t forget the Maya knowledge of astronomy and the fact that they had universities.
Although I take issue to “no abandoned ruins” having been to Athens, where you turn a corner and RUIN! ;).
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LAST WEEK WE CAN USE THIS SOMEONE HIT THE PANIC BUTTON
Politicians debating climate change, by Isaac Cordal
spongebob gets it
stephen hillenburg is personally responsible for radicalizing me and I thank him
......... different fantasy races should be impacted differently by each other's alcohol
no more if this "fine elvin wine" shit, I am going to personally write a fantasy setting in which every human knows that elf booze tastes and feels like fantasy la croix. there's barely even a flavor, and you'd need to drink a few to even get tipsy.
meanwhile, every human with a lick of common sense knows that you need to plan accordingly if you're going to be drinking dwarven liquor, because it hits you hard and fast and you'll lose feeling in your legs faster than you thought was physically possible. the hangovers are the stuff of legend.
the flip side is that elves are an entire race of (comparative) lightweights, and a whole gaggle of teenange elves can get piss drunk passing around one bottle of fruity human wine
I think there's some compatability among drinks brewed by reptilian races (dragonborn, lizardfolk, tortles, kobolds, etc) although you run into similar translation issues as mammalians, but there is absolutely no crossover. like if a drsgonborn and a dwarf in a (very cosmopolitan) tavern were to switch drinks it would be a nonstarter.
"this is basically just a capri sun," the dragonborn says, disappointed.
"cool, I'm pretty sure I just drank actual paint thinner," the dwarf says. "get me to a hospital."
humans and halflings are probably the most compatible drinkers of any two races, although halflings find most human wines, beers, ciders, etc, a little too dry and bland for their liking. halfling alternatives are very sweet, which makes them a huge hit among the 'I like alcohol but I don't want it to taste like alcohol' crowd
I think it would be very funny if being drunk was like... a relatively new cultural development for gnomes? there’s just something about their wacky gnomish constitution that prevented them coming by it naturally (traditionally they’re more into a variety of mushrooms and other recreational plants) but once they started mingling more with more alcohol-happy races they learned VERY quickly and started opening, basically, turbo-breweries that are basically one part distillery and one part wizard tower. VERY popular job for young alchemists trying to make some good money, and the reason why gnomes are known (among other things) for operating the craziest night clubs
here’s who I think should be able to get drunk but become sober at will:
1.) sufficiently powerful paladins and clerics
2.) aasimar [all of them]
2.) very very few tieflings. it’s not universal at all, but few tiefling traits are. I know 5e has really solidified them as horns + tails + inhuman skin color but we need to be making them weirder
To maybe add? ruin? this post, alcohol is a poison and the feeling of being drunk is a side effect of our livers metabolizing this poison. So it’s a safe bet that any races with a high enough constitution stat will be able to hold their liquor better, plus if they have an resistances to poison, that ability skyrockets. So, if we look at con stats vs other stats, we have some very fun things that pop out.
Obviously, dwarves, with their pluses to constitution and their resistances to poison, undoubtedly make the hardest liquor available, and it will absolutely kill you if you’re not careful. A lot of places that don’t see high dwarf foot traffic won’t even carry it for liability reasons.
Elves can’t hold liquor, unless you’re a Sea Elf, in which case you probably drink nothing but homebrewed beers. Green dragonborn find it almost impossible to get drunk unless they’re hitting the hardest dwarf brews. Teiflings are the most fun drunks, with their innate charisma and reasonable constitution.
A list of races on who can handle their liquor the best
Dwarves
Hobgoblins
Orcs
Goblins
Humans
Half humans
A list of races who absolutely cannot and should not drink alcohol, not that that’s going to stop them:
Gnomes
Elves
Teiflings
Dwarf liquor can and will kill gnomes, which they view as a challenge.
Andean cat gets some sun. [source]
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This is legit.
