queen of the universe.

you know i had to do it. before and after first time ever bikini edition! obviously i have no before pictures in swim wear, so this will have to do. 150 pounds. 15 months. champion.

we’re not children’s cartoon characters. you’re not the scrappy tween protagonist of a coming-of-age novel. no. n o. you want to have interesting experiences. go to foreign or far-off places. get lost for the fun of it. you went hiking and have a great story to tell. there are so many other ways to say what you’re trying to say. yeah, I’m a negative, grumpy, old lady, but I don’t care.

My ideal future marriage.

you know i had to do it. before and after first time ever bikini edition! obviously i have no before pictures in swim wear, so this will have to do. 150 pounds. 15 months. champion.