Women like me drown oceans

Alexa can play Skyrim tho

Roomba creates maps of the inside of your house

I saw the red and blue and my first response was “Roomba is using this sensitive information for GERRYMANDERING purposes”

SWAT team, bursting into your room, having been briefed with detailed Roomba-collected maps: *avoids difficult rug*

Still thinking of a TikTok I saw a year ago where a girl with a shellfish allergy got a crab tattooed on her thigh with one of the claws exactly where her Epi Pen should be stabbed into her so she’d be able to wheeze out “stab the crab” if someone else needed to use her pen on her. Absolutely obsessed. The epitome of work smarter not harder.

Honestly I was kinda on the fence about outright vaccine mandates outside of schools + flights and a few other places. But after seeing all these cops and soldiers share their resignation letters which read “I don’t want to carry a loaded gun around anymore because the Satanic communists are trying to poison me,” I think we should have vaccine mandates for every single position of authority that exists