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My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.
socializing works a little bit like a car battery and alternator. if you continue to make yourself go out and do things, your social alternator makes it infinitely more manageable for you to continue to go out and do things. if you let yourself be completely idle for too long, the alternator doesn't get to keep charging your battery and eventually it runs completely down and it's nearly impossible to go out and do stuff with a dead social battery. you can always get it jumped again by a friend who's willing to do so, but as with a real car battery it's kind of a whole Thing and the first time out with a jumped battery is still really shaky and weird and anxiety-inducing and all of this could've been avoided if you'd just gone to the arcade or whatever
I would like to add that even bad/awkward/boring social experiences are experiences worth living. That's how you get anecdotes to tell and fuel for your fiction and memories to reminisce about in 20 years. The bad ones are usually funnier in hindsight than the good ones.
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I wanted to do a little something for mermay with a little monster design! She’s lightly inspired by my OC Ekānta and a very old mermaid piece I did in 2019! All around was a fun idea to revisit!
Back to regular scheduled art pile to share, then it’s artfight prep time!
valko tilts his head, perched atop your balcony railing. his tail gives a lazy swish behind him.
"it's dangerous for you to climb up. what if someone reports you?"
he tsks but accepts the keycard.
"sounds to me that you don't care if I fall," he tips his head back in exaggerated disappointment. "only that someone reports me. am i a stray to you now?"
"do you want it or not?" you reach for the keycard, but he slips it right out of your reach. the sudden movement sends you pitching forward, your forehead bumping lightly against his chest.
"'course I do, short stack." he nuzzles into your hair, humming lowly at the sweet scent of your shampoo. "don't be surprised if I become a regular at your place."
you look up to answer, only to find his attention has already wandered. his eyes are fixed squarely on your bed.
"don't make a mess-actually you know what, I'll text you the rules by morni--."
"tomorrow, yeah." he's already hopping down from the railing, shrugging off one boot.
unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.
By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.
There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.
That's queerbaiting.
Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.
The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.
Doing it on accident sucks, but it isn't a tactic of capitalism intentionally intended to suppress queer representation while making money from queer fans.
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⏾⋆.˚ You couldn't find him anywhere. [Mild 18+ / Angst / Hurt/Comfort]
“Valko?” Your voice only seemed to echo back at you, taunting in tone as your feet pounded against the cool metal flooring of one of many of EonCore’s laboratories.
The one your wolf had specifically spent most of his time in.
Yet, with every bellow of his name, no response followed. Valko, who had told you to meet him here. Who had said it was urgent.
Who had oddly ended his messages with an abrupt “I love you more than you’ll ever know.” Was now silent in all senses. No call, no text, no verbal responses. Nothing.
Dread inches its way through your veins, cruel and unforgiving as you shoulder open the last door in this hallway. A spare office, one he specifically told you he used as a decoy for a higher profile experiment.
If he wasn’t in here, quite honestly you’d be convinced he had been erased off the face of the earth at this point. “Val?” Peering into the room, your heart plummets to your feet. It’s been wrecked. Desks turned over, files destroyed, carefully conducted months upon months of research completely ransacked.
“Oh my god…” Instinctively, your fingers find the cool metal of your gun. Wrapping around it so hard your knuckles whiten.
“Valko? C’mon say something.” It seems your legs move before your mind can truly process anything, stepping deeper into the carnage and nearly slipping.
Something wet glides beneath your foot. Something thicker than water; metallic in a way that it assaults your nostrils.
Glancing down, you’re met with your own reflection in a crimson pool of blood. A scream so shrill threatens to tear from your throat and yet not a single ounce of breath escapes your lungs.
Within that puddle is your lover, cold. How long he has been gone you’re unsure. But there is something oddly beautiful about his peaceful expression.
Metal clattering against metal is deafening and yet you can’t hear it over the ringing in your ears. You hit the ground hard, knees splashing sickeningly into the pool of Valko’s cooling blood. Your hands tremble so hard you can barely angle them right to hold his graying cheeks. “No…no no no no no…”
“You can’t do this to me… you can’t leave me… you promised…”
Hot tears blur your vision, a garbled mess of no tumbling from your lips. Agony rattles in your chest, a feeling so painful you can’t stop yourself from doubling over. Forehead pressing into the cold, unmoving mass of Valko’s chest.
“Hey! C’mon, little wolf. It’s just a bad dream, wake up.”
Your eyes snap open as a strangled sob rips from your throat, tears burning and throat tight as you struggle to catch your breath.
“Woah, it’s okay!” Valko, your strong, warm, breathing Valko lays in front of you. Amber eyes glowing even in the darkness of your bedroom, filled with pure concern.
“It was just a nightmare, it’s okay.” he hadn’t the slightest clue as to what you dreamt of to terrify you in such a way. All he knew is you were shaking, sobbing in your sleep and whimpering out his name loud enough that it woke up.
So, by default, it must have been something utterly horrid. He’s never seen you this shaken before, not even in the depths of battle.
“V-valko…?” it hiccuped out of you, hands physically shaking as you cupped his warm cheeks. Skin that was warm, alive, blood rushing just beneath. Still circulating. Felt his pulse thrumming under your fingertips, felt his breath ghosting your tear stained face.
“I’m here, little wolf. M’right here.”
He’s dragging you in, not asking questions, just cradling you to his chest. The chest that had felt so surreal, so cold and still. It sends a renewed wave of tears brimming over your eyes. “Y-you died.” You managed to cry into his chest.
The words were so jagged and bitter that Valko swore he could taste the poison on his own tongue. “I-in my dream, you were dead. It f-felt so r-real, V-val…!”
You were grieving him, and he was right here. Alive, warm, holding you. Yet you were hysterical. Laying before him, a shaken shell of a woman as you sobbed into his chest over something that never actually happened.
But something that clearly felt so real that it had rattled you to your very core.
It felt as if someone had cracked open his ribcage and wrapped their fist around his heart, as if his own evol were squeezing it in a vice grip. Ready to pop it for all that it was worth. “Hey, hey, look at me. Baby, I need you to look at me.”
Baby.
The very pet-name that the two of you always made fun of. Noses scrunching and immediately side eyeing the other when you heard a couple use it in public.
Yet, it was always the first thing to slip past your lips when the other was upset, or hurt, or maybe both. “Baby, take a deep breath, please.” Now, he was begging.
“It wasn’t real, I’m alive. See? You feel this?”
He shifts, pushing back just enough to grab one of your trembling hands and place it firmly against his bare chest. Right above the steadfast pounding of his very much alive and working heart. “See? It’s beating, it’s pushing my blood through my body as we speak. I’m alive, right here next to you, little wolf.”
You feel it, strong and real, and slowly you can find the will to even your breathing.
“Good girl, deep breaths.” It’s meant to be encouraging, yet it makes you feel just a little light headed. “Don’t say things like that.” You mumble, using your free hand to wipe away the wetness on your cheeks.
“I can’t praise you?” A genuine sound of surprise, as if he can’t fathom why he shouldn't be proud of you for overcoming a very obvious panic attack.
“S’not what I was talking about.” Nasally, your nose is annoyingly stuffed from all the tears. “Then wha…oh.” Mildly startled at the realization, but it doesn't stop the toothy grin that suddenly tugs the corners of his lips.
“You were just sobbing, now you’re getting flustered?” The hand he still had held to his chest now wiggled free from his grasp, lifting slightly to haul off and playfully smack him. “Consider it a successful distraction.”
You shuffle closer to him, pressing your once wet face into his chest. Inhaling his scent, letting it fully relax the last of the tension still stored within your shoulders.
"You smell good, Val." It's fully muffled into his chest, vibrating his skin and earning a delicate chuckle. "You always ask me what you smell like, why don't you tell me what I smell like, hmm?" Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, arms and legs finding their natural home slotted in, on, or around the others'.
"You smell like a man." It's blunt, and you feel rather than hear his laughter. "You smell clean, like all the time. Expensive, too. Like incense and woods, fresh air with a hint of smoke. You also smell a bit like chocolate but I'm pretty sure that's because of your hidden stash." He tenses, how on earth did you find the stash?
"You also smell like my coconut lotion, the one I let you borrow when your regular one ran out but then you liked it so much that you just bought a bottle for yourself."
He smiles at that, one of the earlier memories in your relationship. Also one of his fondest. "Most of all." You yawn into his skin, nuzzling into his chest as if you could truly burrow your way inside of it. "You smell like home, Val."
In the quiet of your shared bedroom, with the nightmare pushed far behind you, Valko wondered if you could hear how hard his heart was hammering from that statement.
Banner is from @/cafekitsune
This was going to turn into smut but then I just got really soft over him after the new updates we've gotten... low key I'm getting sad all over again but I'm trying to hold out hope but... man... I miss Valko... I miss playing LaDs... infold what the fuck - Soul
Attempt no. 2 after studying his face a bit more. Main reason why I don’t make lads art that much is because the characters are so pretty, I have a hard time getting it right 😔🙏🏽
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gummygunk
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
