๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ, ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ - ๐ฉ๐ญ.๐
๐๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ : ๐๐๐๐ฎ ๐๐ซ๐ฅ๐๐ง ๐ฑ ๐ ๐๐ฆ!๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ: ๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฅ๐๐ง ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐จ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ฒ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ค๐, ๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ ๐จ๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ญ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.
๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ก๐๐ฏ๐๐ง'๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐, ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ค ๐ก๐๐ซ๐
I get home exhausted. After lunch, the office was in chaos with one demand after another, phone calls, and an unnecessary meeting about organization. Seriously? Thatโs the basics of any job.
On the bright side, I hear a knock at the door. It sounds familiar. At least he kept his word, I think. I open the door looking tired but ready to welcome him.
โWow, you look beat,โ Mike says as soon as I open the door. โBut youโre still the most beautiful woman in the world.โ
โA compliment coming from a critic isnโt usually very kind,โ I retort. I look at his hands and seeโฆ flowers. Obviously, itโs his classic move. โOrchids?โ
โYour favorites, remember?! On our first date youโโ
โYes, Mike, on our first date I said I loved orchids, and after that day you never stopped giving them to me.โ Iโve heard that one before. โ I say sarcastically
โ Can I come in? I know youโre mad, but you know I always try to make it up to you. โ He says, with that abandoned puppy look on his face. Shit. Before I know it, Iโm already making room for him to come in, and he does.
Mike approaches and kisses me on the cheek, lightly touching my waist as if trying to test the waters. I was so tired at that moment that I just did the same: I surrendered to his touch, leaning in and giving him a peck on the lips. I close the door and look at him. โ Iโve been waiting for youโฆโ
โ I know, my love. Iโm sorry, one stressful thing led to another, and I just needed to get away from there. Do you understand how stressful this has been for me? I want to be the best, and to do thatโฆ Iโll need to give it my all there. I know you understand, and Iโm just asking you to put yourself in my shoes.
โ I always put myself in your shoes, but weโre in a relationshipโฆ we have plans, we have a future, I just want a little consideration. I wish youโd just told me, thatโs all. Itโs not the first timeโฆ
โ I know, honey. I know! But please, letโs not make a big deal out of this, okay?! โ he says, kissing me and now squeezing my waist โ I love you so much. I like how understanding you are. โ he says, gently. Before I know it, I let this argument, once again, be resolved in bed.
Iโd been warning him for a whole week, and he was running late. The publisher decided to organize a promotional event for upcoming releases. It was a big deal, and I was put in charge of leading everythingโwhich meant double the work: renting the venue, checking the guest list, making sure there were enough chairs, and arranging for food. I spent the week on the edge. And all I asked Mike was to show up to support meโsomething basic.
I checked our conversation for the third time, with a few messages asking where he was and if he was still going to show up. Nothing. Meanwhile, the event was going on with a few hiccups, but I managed to resolve them quickly. Journalists, writers, librarians, bookstore owners, and publishing partners were mingling, chatting, laughing, and drinking. Everything seemed fine, until I sensed a familiar presence approaching:
โ s/n? โ Beau approaches, drink in hand
โ Sheriff Arlen? โ I say, surprised by his presence โ I canโt believe youโre here!
โMike mentioned the event a few days ago. He was proud to emphasize that โmy girlfriend is organizing everything.โ So I came to check out the hard work andโฆ from what I can see, it looks amazing.โ He says, admiring the space until he looks back into my eyes.
โ Oh, come on. I did what I couldโฆ Mike must have been tired of hearing me complain about the same things, so thatโs probably why he mentioned it.
โ Youโre being modest. I wouldnโt mind hearing you talk about it, especially since organizing a big event like this is a huge headache for one person. But youโre tough, I can see that. โ he encourages me โ Iโm impressed with your work, honey โ he says naturally.
My shy smile gives me away. Again. But before I can say anything, one of the catering staff comes to alert me to yet another problem in the hall. Great, one more problem to solve. โExcuse me? Duty calls,โ I say, and he smiles.
โSure! Iโll be around,โ he says.
After resolving yet another problem, I realized it was time to go on stage to host the upcoming book launches, which would be presented by the authors themselves. Thatโs when I was able to grab my phone and see the disappointing message:
Mike: Sorry, I have to stay late! See you later.
Great. He did it again.
The event had come to an end. After that message, I pushed any sadness aside because it was nothing new. It was my moment of glory; I couldnโt let the same feeling Mike always stirred in me get to me again.
I was grabbing my bag to leave when I realized I wasnโt going home alone and depressed after all. Beau was leaning against his truck, enjoying the late afternoon as the evening stars began to fill the sky. I smiled when he came over to me.
โI know you must be exhausted, but Iโd love to have a moment alone with the star of the show. Want to grab a drink?โ he says, unpretentiously. I smile because my answer was simply to get into his truck and let him take me wherever he wanted.
After talking about the event, we started to loosen up in our conversation. I laughed at the story of an incident he toldโโAnd then, the guy just tripped on his skateboard and fell right into the copโs arms. We were working so fast that day that we thought the universe was giving us a chase like that as a gift.โ He added, and I burst out laughing, taking another sip of my drink.
โHow can this be the worst chase in history and the fastest arrest ever made?โ
โYeah, I thought it couldnโt get any better, but that day was the best.โ he says as he drinks his beer. He sets the glass on the table and looks at me with those same eyes I still canโt quite figure out. โThereโs one thing I still want to understand.โ
โ About what?
โ You being so modest.
I laugh โ Okay, go ahead.
โ I saw you look at the door about ten times today. But at the same time, I saw you command everyoneโs attention in the room. I meanโฆ youโre beautiful, smart, confident, but you wait for someone so pathetic to give you less than you deserve.
โWow, youโre direct, arenโt you?!โ I say, almost choking, without looking away from him.
โI believe alcohol has a great effect on people. I justโฆ see that he doesnโt care. And you accept it.โ
I run my finger around the rim of the glass, lost in thought. Actually, I already knew all this, but hearing someone from the outside talk so openly about it is painful.
โ You know itโs not that easy, right?!
โ Iโve been through this before, Y/N. I know what itโs like to be with someone who has no interest in what their partner likes or who just throws all their consideration in the trash. Nothing in life is easy, but itโs up to you to keep accepting what you think you deserve or not.
โOkay, so you think I should end a relationship thatโs lasted years and be with you?โ I retort.
โMaybe.โ
โGreat, we donโt even know each other.โ
โIโm not like your boyfriend.โ I wonโt cross your boundaries, and I know what I shouldโ
โ I think we should stop here. โ I say, cutting him off. I finish the rest of my drink and get up from the table. I walk out first, and he catches up to me after paying.
โ Yes or no, pleaseโ
โ Iโm at my limit, Beau. Do you think I donโt know how much I hate myself for still being with Mike? Do you think it didnโt hurt me not to see him on a day as special to me as today? โ I say.
โ But I was there. And I want to be there for you at every damn event you organize, I want to celebrate your victories, I want to take you to my place, I wantโhe trails off. He takes a deep breath and then looks at me โ Iโm sorry. I shouldnโt have meddled in your life. Let me at least take you home. Itโs the least I can do. โ I sigh as I hear all that.
The ride was silent. As soon as we arrive, he drops me off at my front door. I look at him, trying to figure out what all that was about. I mean, was it the alcohol? All that confession to someone Iโve known for such a short time but who hasnโt left my side until now.
โBeau, Iโโ
โNo.โ He cuts me off. โWe donโt need to talk about this.โ โIf youโre happy with himโโ
โIโm not.โ I say it so quickly that I even surprise myself. โIโm justโฆ confused. About everything. About you, about my feelings.โ
โI like you. And Iโd love it if youโd give me the chance to get to know you better. But I canโt cross the line, out of respect for you.โ
I realize how close Iโm getting to him, how I let my gaze linger too long on his face, his eyes, his mouth. But before I can do anything, I hear a familiar voice:
โ Y/N?โ Mike interrupts, looking at Beau and meโstanding close together, our expressions giving us away to anyone passing by.











