all i want is you. it’s always you

He wanted to see Rozanov this weekend. He wanted to be with him, alone, behind closed doors; he was tired of lying to himself about it. HEATED RIVALRY — CH. 16

write insane shit that’s way beyond your perceived ability and skill level even if you don’t finish it even if you think it sucks

and also she's threatened by the hollanders in general bc they are more functional than the rozanovs and she feels judged by them and worried that ilya loves them more than her... and maybe yuna and david DO judge her a bit especially before they know about her history (in this au she left grigori) and struggles but also i cant see them making that obvious

i think ilya and shane are so happy to organise a dinner where irina and the hollanders meet and it's a bit weirdly tense and ilya kinda has his eyes opened to some things about his mother that he thought were normal. and shane doesn't tell ilya this but next time he's alone with his parents he's like "okay just say it" and maybe yuna says something like "you know we love ilya but well meeting his mother well it makes some things about him make sense" and shane's like "how could you say that" but inside he's like "well they have a point" not that he'd ever admit that to anyone

also i like to imagine svetlana meeting shane and when they're alone for a minute being like "ilya is my family and i love irina but she did spend years convinced i was coming between her and her son. even when ilya and i weren't fucking. and we were 13. good luck."

“…You mean Hollzy?”

the trouble: