Iâm getting bad again. Iâm losing track of time- Iâm trying so hard
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@hnggggproblems
Iâm getting bad again. Iâm losing track of time- Iâm trying so hard

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things people have told me about my scars
Youâre not sorry
You always say youâre sorry but you continue to do it anyway , youâre not sorry . But itâs fine I guess .

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One Day at a Time addressing how it should never be up to the child to fix a broken relationship with a parent.
Being psychologically and emotionally abused sucks because when someone asks you what happened thereâs no bruises or scars or scratches to show just screwed up brain cells and traumatic memories my dude idek whatâs going on anymore
What do you need from others in order to feel safe?
When I share my feelings, I need other people to not be dismissive of them, even if we are in conflict and what I am sharing doesnât feel fair or an accurate reflection of what happened, because it feels true to me and thatâs important and deserves to be heard. If someone is going to touch me and I canât see them for whatever reason, I need them to let me know first. When I sound like Iâm having a crappy day or a hard time, the other person asking if Iâm okay and listening. After weâve been in a fight and have resolved things, to give me a loving touch or a hug. Others just asking me how my day is going. Not treating me like my PTSD triggers make me a burden or a bad person. I like humor and often joke around and I feel safer with people who can do that with me. I feel safer also when I can be silly with someone. When others respect my boundaries. Never saying to me Iâm too needy or too much. Kind of funny one is, I feel safer with someone if they sing to me.
Lifeâs too short. You never know when itâs the last time you talk to someone. Never end a conversation in a fight and never let her go when sheâs mad or you are fighting. And always say I love you. Youâll regret it when they are gone.
â youâre so considerate!â
Haha thanks , I was raised in constant fear of upsetting people so yknow * fingerguns *
Today someone told me Iâm nice and I literally said âthanks itâs the emotional traumaâ
this isnât cute
stop making people feel uncomfortable for saying something nice! people donât deserve to have ur problems thrown at them for trying to compliment u
Hereâs the thing - and Iâm saying this as nicely as I can - people who have gone through tons of emotional trauma can be very uncomfortable with praise. Me personally, Iâm wired in such a way that while I do like praise and compliments, it almost hurts to accept them because my brain is all fuckity from years of being told how worthless I was. Weâre not trying to be impolite jerks, hurting the feelings of innocent compliment-givers, weâre coping. I say stuff like âthanks itâs the emotional traumaâ because humor is a coping mechanism.
Weâre not being assholes about our trauma on purpose.
(Most of the time.)
yes, thank you, I know how emotional trauma works, as I have experienced it plenty of times in my life. lots of people have and it still does not make it okay to do that.
saying âitâs how I copeâ is an excuse to not have to take responsibility for your actions and how they affect the people around you. itâs a shitty coping mechanism!! I know, I used to do it too and it made everyone around me uncomfortable and pushed away people that wouldâve been there for me had I taken the time to explain why I didnât like having certain things said to me
people donât know what youâve been through and making them regret trying to be nice to you by dumping it on them in response will only isolate yourself
Iâm just reblogging this to say , yâall Iâm not saying that to ppl . I posted it on my vent ( hi ) bc a lot of ppl can give compliments on things which they appreciate which is perfectly fine and I appreciate the compliments , but a lot of the things Iâm complimented on are because of being abused and many people donât actually realise that . It was just a post basically saying that my trauma has shaped me into being the person that I am and ppl donât tend to notice that , but Iâm not calling people out or not being accepting of the compliments ! This whole page is just a big internal monologue, Iâd never make someone feel bad for complimenting me aha

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One Day at a Time addressing how it should never be up to the child to fix a broken relationship with a parent.
Am I really a bad person for remembering all the bad stuff my parents did? I remember them slapping me, yelling at me, scattering my things and breaking them (not on purpose, but still). Am I a bad person for remembering it? Am I a bad person for bringing it up sometimes? Am I a bad person if I fear them and cannot forgive and forget so easily? My mother got angry when I brought it up, said âLet God be the judgeâ⌠Is she right? I donât know anymore. Iâm just so tired and suicidal,I wanna sleep
(youâre not a bad person for remembering what happened to you. I want to fight whoever made you think that youâre bad for remembering abuse. thatâs not very nice of them. sheâs not right to say âlet god be the judgeâ if sheâs using that as an excuse to hurt you. -kitten)
Mental illness is not an excuse for someone to treat you badly.
mental illness is not an excuse for someone to treat you badly
Mental illness is not an excuse for someone to treat you badly
signs that your family is abusive:
you feel the urge to hide from them whenever youâre vulnerable
you cannot bear the idea of them seeing you cry
when youâre hurt or in pain, you donât go to them because you feel theyâll tell you that you deserved it or that it was your fault
you donât feel like you can confide in them, either because they donât seem to care, or try to control how you act, or yell at you and punish you, or use the information against you
you feel very self-conscious around them and keep expecting criticism and insults
you canât tell them about your struggles because you already know theyâll side against you
you keep things in your life secret from them because you have a feeling they would ridicule, humiliate, and judge you if they knew, or take everything away from you
you feel scared of letting them know when they hurt you
you feel scared and guilty when you so much as think about them in a bad way
you feel the urge to remind yourself of all the things they did for you, whenever something bad comes up, to be sure that youâre seeing them the way they want to be seen by you
youâre scared of being accused of being a burden to them
youâre scared to hold them responsible for things they did to you, because you know they would argue otherwise, and insist they had full right to do what they did, or that you made it up
you have the inner sense of dread that nothing you ever do or say will be taken seriously by them, and your life will always look like a joke to them
you dream of living far away from them and feel guilty for wanting to cut them from your life
you donât feel like youâre really important in comparison to them, it feels like itâs better to just step aside and let them be important, your life doesnât matter as much anyway
youâre worried about how your every action might affect their life, their reputation and social standing
you feel that theyâre ashamed of you and youâre trying your best not to bring further shame on the family
you feel like youâll owe them for the rest of your life and nothing you ever do will be enough to erase the debt, and this fills you with dread and feeling of being trapped
you donât count on their help when youâre in trouble, youâre scared of them finding out and punishing you for being in trouble in the first place
you donât count on them sharing their resources with you, you know you have to be grateful for how much theyâve given you already and feel like you have no right to ask for anything more, even if you need it
you canât feel warmth or safety when surrounded by family, instead you wish you didnât have to be there, and seek a place to hide and protect yourself
holidays spent with family are just painful and something you try to endure instead of enjoy
you canât imagine a world where youâre free and not defined by these people

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fun trauma thing: simultaneously feeling too mature and immature compared to everyone else
âwow youâre so mature for your age!!?!?!?!!?!!?!?!!!!â
thanks, i raised me myself