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having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

tmi stands for tell me immediately

I HATTTE ACCIDENTALLY SAYING SOMETHING ONLY THE KILLER WOULD KNOW

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

i’m seeing little green men and i’m starting to like it

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

line his shit up