Hiro-Ninja

“Don’t you mean in the b–”

“Nope. In the fridge.”

Physics: More pencil tricks

If you take the thing out, they’re going to bleed a lot more.

SO. DONT.

News Flash from the Medical Help ™ — we don’t touch it either! Unless the object they’re impaled with is literally too big to fit in the ambulance, We. Don’t. Touch. The. Thing.

The only people qualified to Take-The-Thing-Out are surgeons. End of story.

Okay, but for the love of God, please, PLEASE, if you did, if you panicked and took the thing out…. DON’T…. PUT IT BACK IN.

“happy birthday” every time i hand them something

“well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong

“we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced

“can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing

referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”

“time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages

referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”

An agent that has spent most of his career watching this person’s life, getting to know them, their routine, their likes, their dislikes.

They feel like they really know this person, and sometimes feel like they’re silently cheering them on in their life. 

One day, the agent has to work the night shift. He complains, of course. The night shift is always the most boring, since its usually just staring at nothing or- if they’re lucky- the sleeping form on the other side of the screen. It at least gives you something to look at.

Then, halfway through the night, there’s a sound that comes through the monitor, and it’s a different sound than normal. It sounds like glass breaking

The agent quickly switches the camera on and sees the form of an intruder preparing to attack the helpless person sleeping soundly in their bed.

His person.

Without hesitating, the agent pulls his firearm and activates the prototype screen portal; rarely used, and highly dangerous.

He doesn’t think twice as he pushes his arm through the anomaly, the feeling of crushed glass scraping against his skin can be felt. 

As the hand holding the gun emerges from the other side of the screen, he fires. killing the would-be murderer before pulling his arm back through to his side.

His wrist and hand burn red, but he will recover. The smoking gun is discarded on his desk as he deactivates the portal and watches, heart racing, as his person- having jumped awake- begins to reach for the phone to call the police.

His person was still alive.