Bill snapped - (Ian and Dipper flinched) - as if realizing something. His single, golden eye with its long, gorgeous lashes brightened. “That’s the energy I’m picking up! This is one of those universes where it’s all -”
Bill made a face, and slipped back out of his formal voice again. “ITS ALL LIKE, ALLLLL NEW PEOPLE, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE BASICALLY IRRELEVANT BY THE END. AND THE MAGIC IS WAAAAY DIFFERENT THAN UNIVERSE PRIME! LOTS OF PIECES LINED UP SPECIFICALLY AROUND ALCOR, TO MAKE HIM COOLER AND TO GIVE HIM MORE THINGS TO BE SAD ABOUT! IT’S A POWER FANTASY OF HAVING SOMEONE EVIL AS YOUR FRIEND THAT’LL HURT EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR YOU, AND NOT HAVING TO DO ANYTHING TO EARN SOMEONE’S ETERNAL LOYALTY EXCEPT BE BORN!”
“Oh wow, that’s super self-indulgent,” said Pine Tree. “That’s nothing like us. You love me because of our soulmate bond, so I don’t need to earn our partnership, but that’s toooootally not the same thing.”
Bill was grinning again, in the same way he’d grinned at Ian.
“And, like, sure, yeah, I’ll admit that the demon powers are cool, and most of the time when I discover new magic it really just makes you more powerful. And you DO hurt a ton of people but never me… But we’re totally still central finite curve, right? We’re compatible with the prime universe magic system. You having a physical form, like, isn’t that big of a deal. The whole plot of the show doesn't hinge on it or anything.”
“Indeed,” Bill said, smoothly.
“And your magic has rules, it’s just, like, more fun to ignore them, sometimes.”
“You are so cool and right, audience surrogate. I mean Pine Tree.”
“They’re like, giving us a bad name, you know? Do you think that the people who are all judgemental about us would think we were cool if I told them that we could make fun of these guys together instead of them making fun of us?”
“You always impress me with your intellect, Pine Tree.”
Dipper sidled up to Ian. “So, hey, man, sorry about that rock, I am definitely back on your side now.”
Ian was staring into space. “You would tell me if I was a fanfiction OC, right? Like, someone would have told me. Right?"
Dipper broke eye contact. “Sure, man. Of course."
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