Hyperfixated over anything honestly

You leant that through your friends, all of them openly talking about their sexual experiences with cheeky grins and a gleam in their eyes. All of them being quite vulgar in their choice of words.

So you know what happens during it, the supposedly sexy words, the heated kisses, the actual intimacy.

Your friends just never disclosed what led up to sex. What was the transition of turning the other on to doing the deed.

You leant your head back in your chair with a groan, your mind racing to think of what scenarios could be done to entice a horny Lloyd to the bedroom.

The first idea that came was merely asking him, going up to him and saying “Do you want to have sex?”. The idea was simplistic and for a brief moment you liked it, it was straightforward and gave you an answer.

Then you realised how unattractive it sounded.

How unattractive you sounded just asking for intimacy, and when you did ask where would it go afterwards?

Would you be cordial the whole time? Awkwardly asking for everything and being stuck standing, wondering what is meant to happen next?

Would he realise he didn’t want you in that kind of setting and back out.

Would he start to view you in a different light, one that doesn’t equal the supposed attractiveness of intimacy, but instead repulsed over the fact you failed at being casual during it.

The second idea was what you think is some sort of foreplay, enticing him in with a lingerie, making him hot and bothered as he stared at you, wanting to touch you but your not allowing him.

The scenario itself sounded like something from a vanilla porn movie, so it must’ve been the right idea.

There were only two problems with that idea, you know nothing about the sexiness of foreplay and you do not own any lingerie.

Though, perhaps the lingerie could be substituted with your bra and underwear. There would still be little left for the imagination and he’ll still be able to take it off.

The last idea that entered your brain was to hide. Not some sort of intimate fantasy where you hide and he seeks you with the rewards of hot and hard sex afterwards. But actual hiding.

Concealing yourself in some realm far away from here with only books to keep you company. So you can immerse yourself into a world not like your own, where the sex scenes fades to black and you never have to know what the characters did together.

You wanted to hide in a world where you could read about mythical creatures, characters going on adventures together, sentient animal sidekicks.

In that world you wouldn’t have to worry about the prospect of being intimate.

But your not in some fantasy world where if you didn’t want to read a smut scene you could merely skip over chapters, or select books that don’t include those types of scenes.

You couldn’t turn over a page and be done with it. You had to face it.

Blankly staring at your desk, you decided to choose the second idea, you just had to make a few tweaks to it.

You never realised just how many unattractive bras you owned.

It had never been a thought process to buy a bra for the seek of being attractive over everyday use and comfort.

To you, it was clear that all of the ones in front of you were bought out of comfort, and wouldn’t be deemed as an item that would turn someone on.

Sighing you pressed your hands into your face, hoping that maybe if you pressed them hard enough that when you lowered them, you’d have a fresh set of bras that looked attractive.

The scene in front of you remained the exact same.

Your arms fell to your side at the exact moment you heard your front door open. Your eyes widened at the sound, your eyes moving to the clock on your bedside table.

Five pm on a Tuesday. Date night.

You didn’t realise how much time you had let pass, you had promised yourself you’d be ready before Lloyd arrived. That you’d have the perfect romantic night of intimacy planned and prepared.

“Hi my love!” Lloyd called out in greeting, placing his keys (your spare keys that you gave to him) down “I picked us up some takeout on the way here, thought we could have a chill date tonight”

The thought of him driving through the city to grab the two of you take out brought a smile to your lips, that smile fell when you remembered you were knelt in front of all your bras.

“Shit” you muttered under your breath, quickly placing the ones you had taken out back into the draws.

“My love?” Lloyd spoke again, his footsteps moving closer and closer to the bedroom.

Loudly you hummed, a sound that to you was tense “I’m here, just..” you trailed off and continued doing your job “busy..I’ll be out shortly”

“Do you need some help?” He asked standing directly outside your door. You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back over the fact you closed the door.

“No!”

You could already imagine the confused expression that had crossed Lloyd’s face, it was mostly likely now transforming into a concerned one.

“I mean, five seconds!” You harshly closed the draw, rushing to stand up from the floor.

For a moment you stood in front of the drawer, your hand slowly moving to the bottom of your shirt.

Was now a good time for some sort of foreplay? To allow your shirt to hike up, exposing your body in an attempt at seducing him into the bedroom.

Did you need to do anything special with your hair and makeup? Was not waterproof mascara recommended so you got the fucked good look afterwards.

Or were you meant to look softer? To instead of looking fucked to look loved up, was there a better outcome?

Are you meant to be getting fucked or loved?

Lloyd gently knocking brought you out of your mental rant “My love, are you sure everything is okay?”

No. Everything was most definitely not okay. But you couldn’t let him know that.

Hesitantly you removed your hand from the bottom of your shirt, you’ll perform the foreplay later. You’ll seduce him when your not slowly entering a panic.

“Yeah, everything is okay” You stepped towards the door, finally opening it and seeing your beloved.

Lloyd was stood in front of you, a clear bag of takeout in his hands. There was no GI in sight, only a sweater and trousers.

When he spotted you, he warmly smiled at you. Would he smile at you like that if you were half naked?

How would he even look at you? Would you see hunger in his eyes, his supernatural instincts taking over wanting to make you his more than you actually are.

Or would he look disgusted at seeing your body, trying to disguise it with affection but ultimately falling out of love with you.

Your smile wavered, Lloyd noticed instantly.

“Bad day..?” He lifted his free hand to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking along the skin.

You wanted to bitterly laugh in response, you wished it was just a bad day. You wished you could actually place the blame onto something. To blame your job, some stranger who annoyed you during the day, a shopping mishap.

There was no escape goat for you to use, it was all you.

“You could say that” You lied, tilting your head in the opposite direction to his hand. You could still feel the familiarity of his touch, but you didn’t want to melt into it.

Lloyd leant forward to press a kiss to your forehead “Then let me take care of you..”

You blinked at him, forcing yourself to smile in appreciation.

Would he say those words to you, when your naked in bed, completely at his mercy, waiting to see what he’ll do.

Would he whisper those words when you can barely function, your body hurting after losing your virginity, torn between crying and fulfilled.

What is even the proper response after sex? Is the partner meant to take care of you, or are no words exchanged as you leave to pee and take in the mess that was now left behind.

What would the mess look like?

Your friends never disclosed what happened after sex, only what occurred during.

You loudly swallowed in hopes it’ll drown out your thoughts “Thank you Lloyd..”

Lloyd gave your forehead another kiss and brought you in for a hug, your head resting against his shoulder.

You closed your eyes into the hug and made a decision that you promised yourself you wouldn’t regret.

After dinner, you were having sex with Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon.

Even if the thought terrified you.

Your thoughts were an endless whirlwind as you spent time with your boyfriend.

Every little thing he did, you wondered would that remain during intimacy.

Would he still hold your waist during it? Would the touch remain light or would it be harsh, reminding you of his presence.

Would his kisses change? Would they be slow and steady or would they be heated, a rush of teeth and tongue that was supposedly meant to feel good.

During dinner your thoughts became louder, the invisible timer to the inevitable starting to run out.

Had you bought the right condoms? Were there even a right kind of condom, sure you knew there were different sizes. You awkwardly found that out as you pretended not to browse the selection, silently praising the fact self checks existed.

What size was Lloyd?

You wanted to cover your face in embarrassment at the thought, he was sitting directly opposite you, smiling as he recounted a funny moment during training with the ninjas. And here you were, trying to imagine to size of his dick.

What if he had an abnormally sized on, would it still fit? Would he fit inside you? Would it hurt more if the size is bigger? Would it result in more blood?

You almost shuddered at the thought, you really did not want it to hurt, you didn’t want to bleed and be in pain. But according to everyone that was the normal.

Pain supposedly equals pleasure.

But how could to drown out the pain to make him feel good?

“[Name]?” Lloyd’s hand settled ontop of yours, you instantly jolted at the unexpected feeling then wanted to scream at yourself.

“Sorry” You apologised, lowering your gaze to the table, eyeing your uneaten food “Sorry, I was just..lost in thought”

“Would talking help?” He brushed his thumb along your knuckles, offering comfort, you appreciated the gesture.

You would rather not talk to him about how your overthinking the size of his dick.

“It’s okay” You dismissed with a shake of your head, staring at your food one last time before deciding you had lost your appetite “I’m gonna head to the toilet real quick”

Lloyd mouthed the word okay, giving your hand a squeeze them let it go.

You rushed out of the room as if everything was burning down. To you, it was.

Why did you have to overthink this? It was just intimacy, no one else was making a big deal about it. Everyone talks about it like it’s normal, sex it is normal.

It is a normal humanly function and all you needed is to get out of your head and find the pleasure.

You decided to take a detour to the bathroom, arriving to your bedroom. You hesitated in front of the door before opening it.

Exhaling through your nose, you glanced around. Your room certainly wasn’t movie quality sex scene material, but you doubted any room could actually look like that.

Slowly you stepped to your mirror, staring at your reflection.

You didn’t think you looked desiresble, especially not right now, how was one meant to look before being fucked?

You side stepped to your vanity, grabbing out the two necessities you thought you’d need. Non-waterproof mascara and lipstick. With the two makeup items in hand you returned to the mirror, deciding to do your mascara first.

Your hands shaked as you moved the brush to your eyelashes, doing gentle strokes along your lashes. You watched as the mascara started to make your eyelashes bunch together, the noticeable became more and more with every stroke.

But that’s what you wanted. That’s what every main character looked like moments before sex, it made them look desireable to their love interest.

You wanted to be desirable to your own love interest.

Once you decided the mascara looked enough, you moved onto the lipstick, glancing down at the shade that was once again meant to make you look seductive.

You parted your lips as you brushed the lipstick on, pressing them together to make the colour more presentable.

When you placed both makeup items down, you returned your gaze to the mirror. While you looked ready facial wise, your body was yelling a different story.

If anyone caught sight of your face they would be ready for intimacy, following you into the bedroom, preparing to ravish you. If they glanced down those feelings would instantly disappear.

Nervously, you began to lift your shirt up, careful to avoid ruining your makeup. The next to go were your trousers, and finally you were left standing there in your bra and underwear.

You blinked at your reflection in the mirror.

You should’ve been smiling to yourself, excited about what to come next. You should’ve been bouncing to the bed, settling yourself down in a sexy position and hollering Lloyd over.

That wasn’t how you felt, you didn’t feel all those thoughts rush out of your head, you didn’t start to rush to the bed, you didn’t start to feel giddy.

The thoughts only intensified, because now it felt real.

You were stepping into a world you were unfamiliar with, you had no map to direct you, no instruction guide to follow, no written foreshadowing that made you know that everything would be okay.

You didn’t know if everything would be okay, you didn’t know if everything would change in one single night, you didn’t full know what you expect.

You didn’t want to know.

But you had gotten this far, you were already partially undressed and had makeup on.

You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, uncertain if it was one of reassurance or your fight or flight activating.

Whichever it was, it forced you towards the bed, your footsteps sounding louder than they actually were. Slowly you settled yourself onto the bottom of the bed.

“Baby!” You called out, your voice sounded confident, like you knew exactly what you were doing. Your legs on the other hand were anxiously bouncing.

Lloyd’s reply was instant, he was already standing from the table “Yes my love?”

Now was your moment, to fulfil the next step of the relationship. You ignored how your legs continued to bounce, your shaking hands resting ontop of them.

“Can you come here, I have something to show you”

While you didn’t get a verbal response, you could hear his footsteps approaching, the noise becoming a constant echo in your ear the closer he became.

You adjusted your position, trying to push any thought entering your mind out.

You didn’t want to think whether you’ve shaved well enough or not.

You didn’t want to think whether you picked the correct colour bra or underwear or not.

You didn’t want to think of you needed to change your hairstyle or not.

You didn’t want to think how much it might hurt.

Your thoughts were silenced when Lloyd appeared in the doorframe, his eyes widened at the sight of you, half naked on the bed.

All for him.

This was all for him, for the thriving relationship, this was the natural progression of a loving couple.

Lloyd’s face became flushed, it was clear your appearance was effecting him, that he likes what he see’s. That’s good, that was the ideal reaction you wanted.

He smiled at you as his gaze traced your undergarments, appreciating what his view was. His eyes halted at your legs, they hadn’t ceased their nervous twitching.

You watched as the flush in his face lightened and his eyes returned to the respectable position of your face.

“We really don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to” Lloyd reassured, remaining in the doorframe, not even daring to walk closer.

You stared upsettingly at him, of course you wanted this, this was the much needed progression.

“I do” You nodded at him, shifting your legs to try and get them to stop their frantic movements “I’m just..a little bit nervous”

“About?” He tilted his head, and you assumed it was so obvious why you were nervous.

“Because it’ll be..you know..our first time” You thought you would’ve sounded more excited saying that sentence, but inside you only felt dread “I would think you’d be nervous about it too”

“I am” Lloyd nodded instantly “I just need to know you actually want this”

You wanted to chuckle under your breath, but instead you scoffed “I wouldn’t be half naked and dolled up if I didn’t”

“That doesn’t mean consent” Your lover stepped into the room, but didn’t move closer to you, he remained near the wall. Giving you space “And saying you want sex compared to feeling it, are completely different”

“I’m ready, both ways” You countered, frustration slipping into your tone.

You didn’t imagine this to be the foreplay, disagreeing with Lloyd over whether your ready or not. Unless it’s sexy to start intimacy through a disagreement?

“That’s not what your body language is saying” He gestured to your body, once more going bright faced at your lack of clothes.

You rolled your eyes at him “Your reading way too much into it, it’s just nerves”

“[Name]..” Lloyd whispered, the voice along rendering you silent, you lowered your eyes at the use of your name.

Lloyd stared down at you, and moved across the room, lowering himself in front of you, his hand resting against the mattress directly beside your bare knee.

“We don’t have to have sex today [Name]” He meet your gaze with a reassuring smile,

“But I have too..” You muttered, lifting your legs into the bed, pushing your head into your thigh, wanting to hide yourself from this embarrassing reality.

“You don’t..”

“I do” You tore your gaze to his, narrowing your eyes, the same eyes that were filling with tears you’ve been keeping back for days. Maybe even years “It’s the natural progression of everything, it’s literally the normal in every relationship. Every couple has sex and every couple enjoys it..so that means I have to enjoy it”

Lloyd stared back at you for a few silent moments, his mind racing to figure out what to say “You shouldn’t want to have sex all because it’s the right thing to do..”

“Then when?” You loudly argued “When am I meant to want it? How am I meant to know I want it? How am I meant to know how to initiate it, to look sexy during it, to not fear it, to not have to question whether I’ll still look attractive to you after it, to know what I’ll like and won’t like, to know how to behave afterwards”

The tears properly spilled during your words, your mascara running down your face. You wanted to have ruined mascara due to the intense satisfaction of intimacy, not because your actually upset.

Lloyd brushed away your tears “We learn them together. We learn what we like, we learn how we initiate it, we learn what we do afterwards and you’ll always be sexy to me..no matter what”

You metely stared at him, already knowing his effort to wipe your tears away were useless with how quickly they were flowing.

You let out a small hiccup sob and leaned forward, leaning into him for a hug. Lloyd caught you instantly, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your temple adoringly.

“It scares me Lloyd..” You whispered, feeling the sudden relief of saying what you actually thought be lifted from your shoulder.

“Why does it scare you?” He softly asked, tilting his back to look at you, briefly glancing to make sure you were comfortable on the bed.

“It’s supposed to hurt” You uttered “How can something that is meant to bring pleasure cause pain..? How can bleeding mean being in love..?”

“Oh, My love..” He pressed another kiss to your temple.

“Everyone says that sex is enjoyable, but how can it be when I have something inside me..stretching me out and doing something that I physically cannot imagine how it’ll feel”

Lloyd held you tighter, your face resting against his shoulder as your tears stained his sweater. You hoped the mascara would wash out of his sweater.

“How can I enjoy something where I have the possibility of getting hurt..” You whispered, sighing into his shoulder when his hand rubbed up and down your back.

You felt naked, completely bare in front of him, even though you still had your undergarments on.

“How can I focus on the ‘pleasure’ when all I’ve ever heard about are the negatives” You closed your eyes, hating the feeling of your mascara sticking to your skin.

Who had made the decision that heaps of mascara was the equivalent of looking sexy.

Lloyd gently shushed you, bringing you closer with a firm touch of his hand “I’ve got you [Name]..I’ve got you..”

You opened your eyes and focused on a wall, there wasn’t anything exciting about it, just a plain part of your room that was bare of decoration.

Was that what people do during sex? Focus on something else so they didn’t overthink the unpredictability of it all. You didn’t want to force yourself to stare out into oblivion.

“What if…what if I never want it Lloyd..” You quietly questioning, finally saying the words that have been building up in your chest for years.

Could you ever silence the thoughts, ignore the intense sex stories, filter out the negatives and actually do what needed to be done?

And if not, did that mean your relationship is doomed?

“Then we won’t do it” Lloyd did not hesitate with his answer, to him it was the only one that existed.

Your gaze moved from the wall to your lover, surprised by the understanding “But what if you want to..?”

“You matter so much more” He softly smiled at you, leaning down to rest his forehead on yours, his nose brushing against you “We might have sex one day, or we might not. Our relationship will never change, no matter the outcome”

You shakily sighed, your breath ghosting against his lips “It’s meant to be the next step..”

“The next step for what? What would it prove?” Lloyd questioned, raising his hand to delicately touch your cheek.

“That we’re compatible”

“We are compatible”

“I don’t know, everyone says that it’s meant to prove that couples are compatible or something similar” You defended, leaning your head back from his slightly.

Your friends never explained to you what being compatible in the bedroom meant.

“Well I think whoever said that is wrong, why should intimacy prove compatibility?” Lloyd countered with a small smile, his thumb stroking your cheek. Instead of leaning away, you melted into the touch.

Your lover’s smile widened at your action and he added “Besides, I think we’re pretty intimate with each other”

You blinked at him, the mixture of mascara stained tears and bewilderment were a stark contrast to one another on your face.

“What?”

Lloyd leant forward, his lips hovering in front of yours, as his eyes glanced down to them, the silent ask for him to kiss you. Your answer was meeting him in the middle for a chaste kiss.

You couldn’t exactly understand why he choose that moment to kiss you, but you could never deny the touch.

When the kiss swiftly ended, he smiled at you “See, that was intimate”

“It was just a kiss” Your own smile grew on your lips as you leant back, a brief shiver running down your body.

“Kissing you is always intimate” He whispered, eyes lingering on your face, his eyelids closing slightly. Pure adorable explored his face “So is hugging you, holding you, talking to you. Everything we do is intimate..”

You felt the butterflies swarm your stomach, fighting with your intestines to be let free. To swarm around the room and show to Lloyd just how much his words had affected you.

“Even just sitting together..?” You questioned, your fingers moving to brush a strand of blond hair out of Lloyd’s face.

“That most intimate of them all” He pressed a ghost of a kiss to your lips, smiling into it as he did so.

You were positive you were melting into a puddle at the sheer softness of his actions.

You let out a small chuckle and properly leant back, looking down to remember that you were partially naked and Lloyd was fully dressed in front of you.

Embarrassed you gathered the courage to do another quiet chuckle under your breath “I probably look rather silly right now..”

“You look stunning” He quickly replied, his gaze diverting down to see the goosebumps forming on your arms “A very cold stunning, but still breathtaking”

You crossed your arms over your chest with a glance down. Without prompting Lloyd stood up to your wardrobe, opening the draws in search of a pair of comfy clothes for you to wear.

You leant back slightly on the bed, happy to merely watch him search to provide you some warmth. Occasionally his gaze fell back to you, each time without fail he gave you a smile.

Each smile made you want to move closer and closer to him.

Eventually, he found a long sleeved shirt with pyjama trousers and he made his way back to you.

You expected for him to place them beside you, to say that he’ll wait for you outside whilst you changed. He did not.

“Can you stand up for me, my love?” He gently asked, placing the shirt onto the bed but kept the trousers in his hands.

You stated up at him with wide eyes, but slowly does as he obliged. Standing up for him and watching as he lowered himself to the ground, still holding the trousers.

“What are you doing?” You abruptly questioned, looking down at him and debating whether you should cover yourself with yohr arms or keep them at your sides.

So far the secret third option was winning, grab all of your clothes and hide whilst you changed.

“What I said I’d do earlier, take care of you” He rested the trousers in front of you, lowering them down so you can step into them “May I take care of you..”

Was this what was meant to happen after sex? Where the lover helps redress their partner and they promise to care for them, for the rest of the evening.

If so then this being done in all the wrong orders. You did not hate that.

Slowly you nodded and stepped into your pyjama trousers, observing Lloyd as he brought them up your knees. Your underwear being concealed as he tied the knot around your midriff, making sure the trousers couldn’t fall down.

Once satisfied with the knot, he moved to grab the shirt “Arms up for me” this time you didn’t question the words and did as instructed.

Soon enough you were concealed again, you smiled when Lloyd pulled the shirt through your head at the focused look in his eyes.

When he noticed your eyes on him, he reciprocated the smile and you were the one who leant forward to initiate the kiss.

Maybe one day this’ll be how you and Lloyd will start sex. You’ll kiss and it’ll feel natural as you both head towards the bed, he’ll be gentle as he leads you down to the mattress, kissing away your worries.

Today wasn’t going to be that day, nor will it be tomorrow, or next week or next month. You may never get the urge to go all the way, you may decide your content with never having sex.

Or one day in the future it might change, you couldn’t predict what could occur. There was a list of endless possibilities.

But right now you were happy to have this be the natural progression of the relationship, to be comfortable around one another no matter what either of you are wearing.

Maybe for now you should focus on the fact that your comfortable being half naked around him, and hopeful one day it’ll be fully.

That one day you could be nude in front of him and not worry that it’ll lead to sex, that it’ll just be being nude. That it’ll be non-sexual.

Your smile widened when the kiss ended, lovingly staring at Lloyd.

Who would've thought the woman your mother offered to babysit you happened to be the ex-wife of lord garmadon?

It wasn't like your mom cared, as long as someone looked after you while she's off to win those elections. It was good enough.

That's when you meet little Lloyd. The two of you spent majority of your childhood together. Whether it'd be in his room or in the living room. The memories were undeniably sweet to look back at.

But not everything lasts forever. The moment your mom found out who Misako really was and worst, who the boy you've spent your days with was the son of the man trying to take your mother's spot.

You two never got to talk anymore.

Even though your penthouse was just next to his building. The most you two could communicate through was writing on whiteboards.

It was basically like that one Taylor Swift music video but eventually you guys ended up parting ways.

And you guys grew up. Phones became a thing.

However your schedule was tight, your mom pretty much trying to get you to ace at everything you could get your hands on. Ballet? Guitar? Volleyball?

Anything to make you appear as the perfect daughter to everyone.

So it was actually Lloyd who was the one who reached out to you through your socials.

Just imagine him talking himself through it as he walked back and forth in his room. Was it a good idea to reconnect with you? You're like a public figure now. Your whole page displayed with the lifestyle you had.

Then accidentally, he pressed the call button when tapping your profile to message you.

Cue his buttery fingers trying to hang up.

Next thing you know you're texting him on your bed from why he called you to how's everything?

Phase 1: Best friends again

You guys would start talking again, well, more like texting.

Because first rule your mom emphasises to you every morning before she heads to work is to NEVER interact with Lloyd or his mother.

You're supposed to be the golden child so you shouldn't be associating yourself with someone with a bad rep.

But to be fair, would anyone know if it's just texting? Its not like you guys are talking openly for everyone to see.

You know those widget applications where you can send your friends photos? You two would definitely have one.

He mostly send you pictures of the scenic views or whatever he's doing at the moment in his room.

However you did question how he was able to get a picture on a rooftop. Uhmuhmninja stuffuhmuhm.

Speaking of ninja, he will try to build up the conversation to ask for your opinion on the green ninja.

You simply just said you didn't really care. You have enough baggage to care about a group of ninjas running around saving city.

Low-key wasn't expecting your response to be that.

But can he blame you? Your schedule is so packed that you don't even have the time to rest.

After months of texting back and forth and late night calls, it came naturally when you both developed crushes on each other.

Whenever you would arrive at school by your limo. For reasons that your mother wishes to display your wealth and status. You would always sneak glances at him and he would always catch them each time.

It was like your shared little secret.

Even during lunch break, he would sometimes end up staring at you a bit too long whenever his friends are chatting about whatever topic it is today.

"Yo, Lloyd, you here?" Kai would knock on his head as if it was a door.

"Huh? Oh yeah, was just thinking if I should get seconds" He'd say, always coming up with excuses everytime.

One day he'd gather up the courage to ask you to meet him on the rooftop of his apartment. The moment you got the message.

You knew what it meant.

That's why you dressed your best before you met him at the spot. The second you opened the door, you saw his back facing yours.

He was wearing his signature green hoodie over his white t-shirt and some dark jeans. As you approached him, you could hear him rehearsing something and constantly correcting himself.

Since he had ninja instincts, he was fast to notice you before you could pick up what he was saying.

"Oh! Heeeey" He greeted you.

Cue to you guys standing around in silence until he blurted out a confession when you mistaken his compliment for an insult.

Phase 2: Dating

Lots of secrecy.

Nobody would know you two would be dating. Not even his crew.

You guys would have to hold hands in secluded places and do a lot of quick goodbye kisses.

Only 'cause people always seem to interrupt any alone time you try to get.

Since you can't be seen together, he loves to make you wear his clothes while letting you dress him in your accessories.

Just imagine the next day you're wearing his hoodie and he wears your bracelet. Everyone oblivious to it all because nobody would even consider the fact you two would be dating.

Has your initials engraved onto his green mech dragon but of course you wouldn't know that. It's for him.

Funny enough he's the one always sneaking off to your place. You have no idea how he always manages to bypass the guards but he does it effortlessly each time.

However there was this one time where you guys almost got caught and he was able to hide outside the window, just out of view from your mom who's asking you to dress up for another event.

When she left and he climbed back in, you literally almost cried because you were terrified he fell.

Uhmuhmninja stuffuhmuhm.

Speaking of ninja, he started to be grateful he chose this style of life. Or else he wouldn't have survived half the scenarios he's been pushed into.

Loves cuddling with you. Actually falls asleep on your bed a lot because it takes all his strength to bring himself back home.

Sometimes you'd be in your penthouse walking around and come back to your room to find him asleep on your bed.

You stopped wondering how he gets in when you got use to it. He definitely doesn't come from the front door since you would've noticed if he did.

Conveniently appears on your bed after every city attacks saved by the ninjas.

Has once slept the whole night and went home to his mom lecturing him on where he went.

And no his mom doesn't know about you guys.

Also for some reason he starts asking about the ninjas, specifically the green ninja more now that you guys are dating.

"Don't you at least find him cool?" He'd ask, playing with your hair as you rest your head on his lap.

"Is this a trick question? No. I don't really care" You'd say.

Phase 3: Ninja stuff?

You will start to acknowledge the green ninja more. Only 'cause Lloyd is the one who made that happen.

Once during one of lord garmadon's attacks. You just happened to be nearby and a bench also just happens to be thrown at your direction.

Right as you brace for impact, a quick hurl of a robotic dragon's tail whipped it away, destroying the bench completely.

You looked and that's when you saw the green ninja winking at you.

What the hell? Was all you could think of.

You told your boyfriend about it and rather than getting mad. He just started asking more questions.

Whether if you liked it or if you found it attractive. You simply answered no to all his questions.

Because in your eyes, you already have a boyfriend. That is him obviously.

But he definitely forgot that part.

Then the day came where your mom wanted you to show the group of ninjas around the office since the city wanted to thank them for their efforts.

Next thing you know you're giving them a tour and the green ninja was purposely and obviously making his voice sound deep.

"Anything you guys need?" You asked and they all shake their heads.

"Nope. We're all okay thanks to your prestige hospitality" The green ninja spoke and you awkwardly smiled back.

"Dude stop, you're embarrassing us in front of the mayor's daughter"

Watch Lloyd pretty much deflate like a balloon when you talk about how weird the green ninja is.

Tries to get you into him but never works out.

Personally, such a goof ball

tall, attractive, a total babe. he knows what he is, what he wants, what he has. dick grayson lacks for very little. dick grayson doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. that’s what he tells himself, at least. what could he possibly have to be jealous about?

dick once told you he doesn’t get jealous because he knows you’re his. it doesn’t matter if every single person in the room looks at you with wide eyes and hanging jaws. he knows you don’t want them - he sees it in the way you lean back, eyes searching for him in the crowd. dick knows you’re his, knows that he’s the one to take you home, lie next to you, kiss you. besides, he could kick everybody’s ass. he considers it a mercy that his attention is redirected to other crimes.

speaking of mercies, he thinks, as his eyes drift to your sleeping form. you’re slumped against the window in the passenger seat, breath misting the glass ever so slightly. it’s warm outside, but the ac is blasting, courtesy of your boyfriend. dick finds it hard to concentrate on the road sometimes, when he’s with you. it’s absurd - bruce wayne’s eldest, batman’s first robin, nightwing himself… melts at the sight of you. his eyes flit to you, and he stifles a laugh. you’re so deep in sleep, you haven’t even realised that your mouth is hanging wide open. if he didn’t know you, he’d think you were dead, honestly - corpselike, and so still, even with the gentle swerves of the car. smiling gently, he pushes your head back till it rests on the seat, breathing deeply, eyes back on the road. it’s bad. he’s down bad. anyone can see it, but dick knows it. he can’t imagine life without you, not anymore. life before you doesn’t exist in his mind - you’ve always been there, right? a you-shaped hole in all his memories, a space created only to be filled by you. the thought of either of you separating never crosses his mind, and he won’t let it, either.

oh, dick grayson is not a jealous man. he can’t allow himself to be.

it’s almost dark when you finally reach gotham, the final embers of the sun fading into near blue. the car pulls into the driveway, and you wake to your boyfriend’s gentle voice in your ear.

“hey, sleepyhead,” he whispers, smiling tenderly at you. as you open your eyes, you think you might melt on the spot. his dark hair is tousled, unstyled. you like it like this, without the gel, fluffy and soft. absentmindedly, you reach a hand to ruffle through it. dick’s eyes flutter shut for a moment.

“hi,” you mumble back. rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you turn to look at him. a grin makes its way across your face as you stare at your boyfriend. if it were anyone else, you’re pretty sure it would have passed the threshold of ‘creepy’ and into downright unsettling. but it isn’t anyone else, it’s him, always him, and you can’t compel yourself to tear your eyes away.

˙⋆✮

with the exception of a few brothers, you’d pretty much met the entire wayne brood. bruce, naturally, was the first. the others, you met over time, either on patrol in bludhaven or when one of dick’s siblings happened to show up at his door (much to his chagrin, especially when it was to interrupt a date night). naturally, considering you’d become acquainted with half the family, you weren’t really nervous. after all, you’d knocked the harder ones out of the park - bruce actually enjoyed your company, as far as you could tell, and even damian toned his usual bite down. not dramatically, but just imperceptibly enough. or maybe you’d just become used to him.

dick, on the other hand, was a bundle of nerves. not outwardly, of course - he had a persona to keep up, an aura of lax. but internally? dick was a mess.

the only people you hadn’t met were jason, and tim. he knew you’d get along with his family, hell, you practically managed to tame damian, but jason? tim? tim and jason together? oh, dick wasn’t worried about conflict. he knew you’d all get along. that was the problem.

but he doesn’t get jealous…right?

˙⋆✮

richard grayson curses the day he was born. he thinks that life has been some big, huge, cruel joke played specifically on him.

it’s been an hour and a half. the longest hour and a half of dick’s life, the most agonising, torturous, slow hour and a half possibly in existence. an hour and a half of sitting at the table, across from his girlfriend - not by his own choice, either - fidgeting with the food on his plate. an hour and a half of gritting his teeth. an hour and a half of watching two of his brothers flirt shamelessly with you.

you have no fault in this, dick knows that. he doesn’t blame you. part of him doesn’t blame his brothers, either. there’s something about you that draws people in, physically. he can’t blame tim for the way he hangs on to your every word, eyes not leaving your animated face for a second. he can’t blame jason for leaning in closer every time you laugh. he knows the effect you have - hell, it’s half of what drew him to you in the first place. he can’t blame them for that.

what he can blame them for is the way they do it. you’re oblivious. how could you know their game? how would you see the quick smirks jason sends his way when you laugh at one of his jokes? you couldn’t know how tim looks at dick pointedly every time you nod earnestly at something he shares. dick isn’t jealous. he’s being protective. sure, he wants to be near you, but he just wants to spend time with his girlfriend - you know, the one he brought to meet his family.

asshole, dick thinks, as jason ‘accidentally’ clamps his hand on yours.

“sorry,” he smiles sheepishly. “miscalculated,” and his hand brushes over yours, settling on the butter dish. you wave it off.

dick doesn’t. he catches jason’s eye, the latter practically gloating. he tries not to rise to it. he knows they don’t mean any actual harm, family exists to piss each other off but it’s nothing personal. still, dick can’t stand it. he isn’t jealous - he just can’t stand that he’s not next to you. he wants to hold your hand at dinner and put the food on your plate himself. he wants to be close enough to smell your perfume, close enough to smell it on his shirt the next day, on his skin, in his nose. he wants to sit next to you and for you to turn to him and ask if everything’s alright like you always do.

and that’s another thing. you haven’t spoken a single word to dick in forty-five minutes. forty. five. minutes. tim’s been keeping your attention, dick doesn’t know how, he’s never seen tim talk this freely before, but he is. and in the spaces that tim takes to breathe, jason butts in, complimenting you. your hair, your nails, your clothes.

dick is aghast. aghast. mortified. practically on the verge of threatening his own life. he thinks he might actually explode if he has to sit opposite you any longer. fine, tim’s talking to you, but would it kill you to look at your boyfriend? just say hello? just a hi? you okay? i miss you baby?

peeling his eyes away, he looks around the table for any sign of solidarity. it doesn’t help that half of the family is away. actually, the only others are bruce and barbara. the latter does her best not to make eye contact, practically red in the face. he looks at bruce. surely bruce has something to say, but as dick turns his gaze, even bruce looks away. his face is stern, but anyone who knows the man well could read that expression. and dick knows him well.

bruce is laughing at him. in his own sick, stern, nonchalant way…bruce wayne is laughing at him.

unable to bear it any longer, dick slumps onto the table in front of him, the plate of food half-picked and pushed away. he lets out a dramatic groan, ears reddening only slightly when he realises he’s cut through the conversation dancing over the table.

you clear your throat softly. “you okay, baby?”

oh, those three words. three magic words, and dick shoots straight up with a grin, eyes meeting yours. you look so concerned, he can’t even be mad - the past hour or however long floods from his mind. he can practically see rose petals and jazz music surrounding you in his vision. he fixes his lips to respond, but before he forms a sentence, he hears another voice speak.

“ah, he’s fine. so, tell me more about this…”

the rose petals wither. the jazz comes to a screeching halt. dick grayson’s eyes narrow and he can’t even swivel his head to look at the agitating source of the noise (jason). you’re still looking at him, though around you the conversation lingers on, eyes pleading with your boyfriend, a silent, are you sure, in your gaze. dick nods, and you smile, turning back to tim. dick doesn’t know what to do. barbara is basically in silent stitches, bruce is…occupied, and everyone else is gone. so dick does the only thing he can.

he pouts.

˙⋆✮

patrol in gotham is different to bludhaven. not that either is easy, but you know your city. bludhaven is as familiar to you as the back of your hand - every alley, every building, even the street lamps start to commit to memory after a while.

gotham is different. it’s darker, gloomier. gotham has something thicker in the air, something more foreboding. it’s as if the city is sentient, as if the life thrums with something neither good nor bad. gotham is alive, and you don’t know how to feel about it.

patrol tonight is quiet. you hadn’t intended to join, especially considering it was your first time in the city, but you saw dick pouting at dinner, and could you really trust your boyfriend to pout around the crime filled streets? not that he couldn’t handle himself.

you suppress a laugh as you cast your eyes to the right of you. crouched on the rooftop, dick’s hair flutters softly in the breeze. it’s dark here, save for the orange glow of the undercity, and the soft light illuminates his face. he looks…godly, you think. handsome.

you bite your lip, adjusting your suit slightly. dick hasn’t spoken to you, but you know he isn’t angry. actually, you know exactly why he’s sulking right now. dick never admits to being jealous, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. you saw his eyes practically shoot into the back of his head at dinner. you saw his mouth drop in shock when you laughed at tim’s joke, or asked jason to pass you the jug of water. you know dick’s jealous - you can see it in his form, how he grips the edge of the roof harder, his fingertips turning white. how he grits his teeth, or how he avoids looking anywhere but down. dick is seething with jealousy, and, twisted as you are, you’re enjoying it. it’s not your fault that your hot, sexy, loving boyfriend looks ten times better when he’s pouting adorably in the corner.

still, you’re not a sadist, so you shuffle closer. “babe…” you start, speaking softly.

dick’s shoulders tense, but he doesn’t turn away from the frankly empty streets below. “yeah? you need anything?”

you tilt your head to the side. okay. so maybe he was a little pissed. not like that would stop you, or him, for that matter. you’d had fights before, like any normal couple, but you both always ended up crawling back to each other. in fact, nine times out of ten you couldn’t even make it to the end of the argument. you were a sap, and honestly? dick was too.

“just miss my boyfriend,” you sigh. “he won’t talk to me.”

no sooner have the words left your mouth, before dick turns to you. his jaw is dropped, beneath the mask his eyes are wide. you’re pretty sure you can hear the breath leaving his lungs.

“are you serious?” he whispers. you bite your lip in an effort not to laugh.

“we’ve been out for hours, and you won’t even talk to me,” you feign innocence. you won’t smile, not just yet. the comm in your ear crackles slightly. not much activity now, given the night has started to quiet down, so you know you can take the liberty of teasing him.

he laughs, bitterly. “i’m talking to you now, right? i’m talking to you. see, actually, when i talk to you, i actually talk. you on the other hand…” he trails off when he sees your quirked brow. he sighs. “just forget it, babe. we’re good.”

on any other occasion, you would have pushed it more, teased him for a few more minutes. but your poor, sweet boyfriend looks so dejected that your heart actually skips a beat. you feel a swell in your chest, and before you know it, you’re wrapping your arms around his back, nuzzling into his neck.

“awww,” you mumble, pressing kisses on the back of his head. to your relief, dick doesn’t pull away. he leans into you. you’re pretty sure you can feel his heart stutter for a second.

you continue. “i’m sorry, baby. didn’t mean to ignore you. i just wanted to make a good impression on your brothers.”

dick snorts. “you made a good impression, believe me.” he turns around, falling into your embrace (and away from the edge of the roof). something clatters in the process, probably a rock, and in the distant inner city, a siren blares.

he mumbles against your shoulder. “i hated not being around you.”

you blink, half-shocked, running your hand between his shoulder blades. you feel him flex under your touch and you press your lips together, trying to take him seriously despite his preening. “you were…dick, baby, you were right in front of me?”

you hear him groan, but before he can answer, your comm sputters to life. a muted, gravelly voice rings in your ear, and dick’s, too.

“loverboy’s got his panties in a twist.”

jason.

dick groans again, guttural, tortured, right into your neck. the sharpness of his distress takes you by surprise, and you can feel his voice in your throat, feel his genuine displeasure as he rips his comm out and throws it halfway across the roof. it lands with a small clink, and you roll your eyes.

“you know you have to get that later, right?”

he looks up at you, and you melt. the words die in your throat at the sight of richard damn grayson, on his knees, face turned up towards you, swollen bitten lips, watery eyes. for a moment, the world stops, or you feel like you’ve lost your breath. you don’t know if you want it back, not if it means you could stare at this for a while longer.

“are you crying?”

“no,” he practically whines. “not exactly,” he whispers after a pause, and your heart skips another beat. before you can help yourself, your lips fall on his.

dick kisses you, and it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before. he’s never kissed you like this - desperately, deeply. he’s something more than hungry, or starved. his hands wrap themselves around you, in your hair, your neck, against your jaw, the small of your back. he’s warm. he smells like heaven, he kisses like you’re the only thing in the world. your comm starts crackling again. without breaking from dick, you rip it from your ear, tossing it away until you hear soft clatters on the concrete.

dick pulls away for a second, and you stutter at the harsh cold that appears in his wake. you go to kiss him again, but he pulls back for a second, placing a finger on your lips. that asshole. he’s smirking.

“you know you have to get that later…right?” he mimics you, and you sigh, shaking your head.

“i’m not…shut up,” the words die on your lips the minute he finds yours again, your mouths melding together again.

gotham is quiet tonight. dark night fades into deep blue, soft pinks painting the far horizon. a siren blares in the distance, the sound of boots hitting the concrete somewhere. from far behind the two of you, the comms crackle, static electricity begging to hum back to life.

richard grayson isn’t a jealous man? yeah right.