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authorâs note: first fic Iâve written in a while, and itâs our angel remus! watching spider man: no way home has had me in the BIGGEST andrew/remus mood, and this fic is the product of my latest obsession. I hope you enjoy !
side note: l/n means âyour last nameâ.
The brass bell on the door of the Three Broomsticks chimed as Remus opened the door, holding it wide enough to let you in first.
He removed his coat, then yours, sliding the fabric from your shoulders and placing it over his arm. You smiled up at him, and he followed you into the pub.
You headed for your usual table, but stopped short when you noticed who sat there.
Remus bumped into your back with a âWhatâs going on?â, before you dragged him over to the bar, out of sight. He was adorable when he was confused, and you admired the look for a moment â slightly agape mouth, head tilted slightly to the side â before putting him out of his oblivious misery.
âI thought Lily was taking him to Madam Puddifootâs today,â you gestured to your table, where James, Lily, Sirius and Peter sat.
green tea hair mask â give me a month and day + a character and i'll write a lil blurb abt it !
14 July with James Potter><
have a secret lover james <3
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ july fourteenth ]
"sure is loud down there." james whispers, startling you a bit.
you roll your eyes, soft smile on your face, "goodness james, no sneaking up on people!"
your friend huff a laugh, "why're you up here? i thought my parties were, in your words, amazing."
you cock your head to the side, "when have i ever said that?"
he shrugs, "sometimeâ somewhere.
you turn back to the window, watching a very drunk remus lupin and mary macdonald attempt to fix fleamont potter's broken garden gnome.
"you never answered my question, y/n." james says, softly.
you kiss your teeth, "i've decided to opt out of spin the bottle. i'd much rather not to kiss any of our friends."
"even me? merlin, y/n, you're killing me." james smirks.
you glare up at him, "you're absent from the game as well, potter."
you watch him blush slightly, "what can i say? i've become a one woman man."
"and this woman is?" you flirt, leaning closer.
james inches his lips closer to yours, "you, darling." his voice is quiet, muttered. you let you eyes fall on his own, big, brown, and all encompassing. you had half a mind to walk away, you really should stop the secret escapades with your longest friend.
but where was the fun in that?
you kiss him deeply, making up for the days you've refrained. he tastes of vanilla rum and blueberry pie. his hands find a way to your shoulder's bring you in closer to him.
you've been more than friends with james for over a year now. sneaking away with him at any possible moment. it was quite the game for the two of you.
but deep down you knew it was much more than just a funny game. he loves you, and you him.
you pull away, drunk off of his kissâ hazy smile on your face. james grin matches your own, his curls a mess from your fingers.
"should we make our grand return before certain people become suspicious?" he questions, head against the window.
you pretend to think over his words, "and leave the niceness of uninterrupted alone time?"
he laughs, "maybe a few more minutesâ"
you interrupt him with a gasp, "fuck, james."
he looks bewildered, "what'd i say?"
you roll your eyes, "not youâ look outside."
outside, gnome hanging in their hands, stands a shocked remus and mary.
Ironically enough, the 3rd of december with remus lupin <3
here's a cute fiancee!remus blurb <3
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ december third ]
you watch with a smile as your fiancee and friends attempt to aid a little harry with his snowman. the four year old is adamant in the structure, already yelling twice at an overzealous sirius.
the thick snow is enough to swallow the boy, so remus holds him close to his chest, getting out of the snowman making.
"mum, aunt marls lost the carrot." harry's small voice accuses.
marlene looks up from her search in the snow, tongue poking out, "tattletale."
you wink at harry before casting a simple transfiguration spell, turning a stray branch into a carrotâ a perfect nose for a snowman. you hand the newly formed carrot to a wonderstruck harry.
"i thought you said no magic for this snowman." remus whispers to him, smiling at you.
harry shrugs him off, far more interested in bossing his parents, uncles, and aunts around.
"have you gone numb yet? my fingers are ice currently." remus asks, placing a kiss to your temple.
you bite your lips, unsure if you should be honest, "i've been freezing since we stepped outside."
your fiancee tsks, "we can't have that." he grabs james' attention, "prongs, your son. my future wife has gotten a chill."
james takes harry, making a funny face at him, causing the boy to giggle, "moony, i believe we've all gotten the chill," he looks at his son, "but we won't stop until this snowman is perfect!"
the two of you allow the rest of them to continue with the winter chill, and make your way into the warmth of your kitchen. remus is quick to make you a hot tea.
"one day." you say simply, once finishing your cup, eyes cast to the window and at a happy harry, james, and lily potter.
remus hums, questioning.
"one day, that'll be us. if you'd want it." you add.
remus grins, leaned against the counter, "there's absolutely nothing more i'd want."
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oliviaaaaa i hope u feel better soon :((( ur one of my fav accounts on this godforsaken app <3333
for ur self care day ! :::
green tea hair mask â give me a month and day + a character and i'll write a lil blurb abt it !
june 17th + mr. james potter ? (im v predictable LOL)
big luv <3
omg you're so sweet, thank you <3 i'm feeling better ! also enjoy this, it's roadtrip!james and it's my new favorite obsession.
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ june seventeenth ]
"we've found ourselves in quite the predicament, haven't we." james huffs, staring at you.
you give him a glare, "i told you we needed a map."
he rests his head on the steering wheel, groaning aloud.
the two of you were ages away from home, and completely lost. it was entirely james' fault as well. you told him two hours ago to ask the waitress for directions.
"alright, we have hours until the sun starts settingâ just turn around and we can get back into civilization." you ease.
james shakes his head, "no, no. if we keep straight we'll eventually find something."
"oh come on! james, we're in the middle of nowhere." you argue.
he starts the car against your protests, continuing down the empty road. you slip into silence for an hour, totally against speaking to your boyfriend.
james has passed nothing but farmland the entire time, and you've yet to see another human being.
"admit it," you finally speak. "we're lost."
"we're notâ we just don't know where we're going." james smirks, happy to annoy you further.
you roll your eyes, and turn the radio on. a cheesy muggle slow song fills the air, saxophone blaring and lyrics sultry.
james smiles brighter, eyes holding a mischievous gleam. he's starts to sing, quiet a first, but as the chorus buildsâ so does his volume.
"âand i'm never dance again. guilty feet have got no rhythm, though it's easy to pretend, i know you're not a fool!" he sings, voice cracking.
you groan, annoyed with him. completely beyond annoyed.
"james. you're starting to swerve, focus."
he continues to dance in the driver's seat, attempting to make you smile and join his dancing. as the beat begins to drop he turns the volume up.
he throws his head back and yells the lyrics, "tonight the music seems so loud, i wish that we could lose this crowd!" he points a faux microphone to you, requesting you join his song.
you roll your eyes before smiling, "we'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to sayâ"
"we could have been so good together!" he's lost focus on the road, only staring at you, eyes playful.
you laugh as he continues with the song, forgetting all about how lost you are. when james finishes you clap, leaning over to kiss his cheek, "encore, darling!"
he smirks at you, "for the song, or for the fact i found civilization?"
you look out the window and see a bustling town around you.
"godricâwhen?" you ask.
james shakes his head, "a magician never reveals his secrets."
you look at him deadpan, "it was an accident wasn't it."
putting it into existence your week will be better!!
can i request a green tea hair mask for remus + november 23 please <33
aw you're the best nonnie <3
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ november twenty third ]
remus hand is on your thigh, underneath the dinner table. a secret affection. you try to ignore him, instead focusing on the friendly talk happening around you.
no one's conversations are interesting enough for you. not when he's touching you.
you had remus lupin wrapped around your finger. he's been so in awe of you for years, and yet, only days ago did you figure it out. it had been in the way he hugged you after a horribly hard day at work. you knew, knew he meant so much with the simple hug.
you had asked, nervously, if he carried a torch for you. his reply was endearing, "darling, i believe i carry an eternal flame."
and now, days later, here you two were. in love and attempting to hide itâ relishing in a secret love away from your friends' watchful eyes.
"we'll tell them when we're ready." remus had said, minutes before walking into sirius' home. dinner party already loud even with two walls and a door between you.
as you sat beside him, glass of red wine in handâ you wondered if you'd ever want to let them in on your secret. there was a certain thrill in being in love without anyone knowing. it felt so sincere, just a promise kept between remus and you.
you're snapped out of your silence by mary asking you a question. nothing pressing, but enough to leave you slightly flustered.
"oh- no, i don't believe i have." you answer, acutely aware of remus' touch.
mary shrugs, "apparently they eloped. who would have thoughtâ pandora a lovegood?"
"they always seemed in love." remus interjects.
you turn to him, and he continues with a half-smile, "so long as you have the eye for things like that."
you grin, happy with his metaphor.
"and you're saying you have the eye for it?" james scoffs, arms around a very tired lily.
green tea hair mask â give me a month and day + a character and i'll write a lil blurb abt it !
may 25, remus
may 25th reminds me of a big picnic lol
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ may twenty fifth ]
you place the pitcher of lemonade in the middle of the wooden picnic table, smiling down at freshly turned three year old ginny weasley. the young girl is littered with freckles caused by the summer sun.
"want a glass, love?" you ask her.
she gives you grin and you pour her a small glass, watching to make sure she doesn't spill. from behind you, a voice clears. you turn your head and fins your husband, remus.
"i hope you didn't overload her with sugar," he says, acting stern, causing ginny to try and hide her glass. "because uncle remus brought a slice of cake."
you chuckle as the two begin to scarf down the vanilla cake.
"you know," you whisper to remus, "when we have our own kidsâ all of this secretive sugar giving will come back to haunt us. we are friends with sirius, and, merlin, he's given harry three slices of cake already."
remus rolls his eyes, mouth full of cake.
you continue, "i'm just saying..."
he slides the plate over to ginny, allowing her to finish the last couple bites on her own, "darling, i'm sure that whatever karmic fate we have given ourselves will be worth itâ as long as whatever child we have is happy."
"i guess you're right. besides, we'll have enough time to practice with everyone else's kids." you grin.
remus hums before rising, hand out for you to take. you quirk up a brow before taking it. he leads you to a shady tree right outside james' garden.
"oh remus." you say softly, taking in the sight.
memories come flooding back to you. past summer's spent at the potter's with your future husband. days snuck away to this very tree to watch the stars.
remus smiles, "i forgot all about it until james pulled me aside to show me this. c'mere."
you walk closer and notice the carved initials on the trunk of the tree.
you trace them, wonderment in your eyes, "we were so little when we did this." you muse.
your husband places his arm around your shoulders, "and i've loved you endlessly since."
this date gave me married life with james idk why... i hope you enjoy my darling <3 and i hope your week is getting better !
indulge in my self care sleepover !
[ august thirteenth ]
"you remembered their books? did you pack the quillsâ merlin, does harry have his owl?" you husband asks frantic, hands searching through your eldest sons' luggage.
"james, they don't start school for another month." you muse, watching as your husband continues through his checklist.
"just making sure they have everything in order. my first year i forgot my robesâ and nelsonâ poor cat was left alone in my room for a whole day before mother realized." he muses, eyebrows furrowed.
you kneel beside him, playful smile on your face, "darling, the kids won't forget a thing. harry's in his third year and ophelia is a step ahead of everyone in this house. now, can we retreat from the packing and finish lunch?"
james takes another look at the books, robes, and quills in front of him before sighing, "fine. just nervous for 'em."
you kiss his temple, "as am i, but we can't try and control every moment of their lives. if they forget anything it will be fine. besides, gives them a reason to owl us."
the two of you step away from the messy guest bedroom, home to your children's school equipment, and into the kitchen. your two kids are already sat at the table, halfway done with their meals.
ophelia looks to you and her dad, "ginny owled and asked if i would be able to stay over tonight? is that alright?"
james goes to respond but harry interrupts him, "and ron asked the same of me? and uncle remus owled and said he, lily, uncle sirius and dorcus are coming over in an hour."
you take a seat beside your son, "you both can goâ but lock us in when you leave. your aunts and uncles are entirely too much of an influence on your father."
james hands you a glass of water, "a bad influence? puh-lease."
you quirk an eyebrow, "i didn't say if it was bad or goodâ just said influence."
your husband winks at your children, "speaking of bad influence, have i ever told you two the story of your mother getting a months' worth of detention?"
you groan in embarrassment, "merlin james, not this story."
he laughs and begins to relay your unfortunate tale. you watch your kids full tune in to their fatherâ eyes bright and entertained. you'd take a thousand embarrassing tales if it meant watching your family so happy.
i need a deep milk and honey soak, with taylorâs âloverâ đ
indulge in my self care sleepover !
GIVES ME REMUS VIBES ! listen...
"we could let our friends crash in the living room
this is our place, we make the call"
gives me remus after the both of you move in together. the gang is always over at yours, because a home that's the product of you and remus is a beautifully welcoming home.
the entire song reminds me of calm content life with remus. the both of you are happy. and happy together. i imagine the life you two share is so wonderful. he makes you coffee in the morning, you always kiss goodbye before going to work, the both of you make dinner together, and there's always a happy vibe.
"swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover
and you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover"
by the time the two of you get marriedâ your lives revolve around each other in the best way. you know each other better than anything else. your vows are witnessed by only your closest friends and familyâ the reception is in your garden. godâ your life with remus is peak lover vibes.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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author's note: hey everyone! I know I haven't updated in a while, but I thought I'd make a comeback with a series! 'mornings with the marauders' is exactly what it sounds â each imagine a different character, a different morning. I hope you enjoy this instalment, and let me know who you'd like next!
James used to hate mornings.
Used to hate opening his eyes to face the world, surrendering sleep for another day. At Hogwarts, it was Sirius who pulled off his blankets and screamed at him to wake up, with Remus still asleep and Wormtail giggling in the corner. Mornings were no place for mischief, heâd hear himself argue. Mischief was firmly managed in the mornings.
If only the young lad could see himself now.
Heâs a changed man. How can he hate the morning when itâs you coaxing him into consciousness? The feel of your lips against his cheek, whispering his name with a grin. No, he loves waking up beside you.
Daylight sneaks in through the blind. Kissing your bare shoulder, stretching across the bedroom, diving into the dimples of Jamesâ cheeks. The open window brings in the cold of late autumn, slipping beneath the sheets, looking to snatching heat. But youâre not cold, not with James and his freakish warmth against your back. Heâs a blissful furnace beside you, arm draped over your waist to keep you secure against his chest. Itâs calm, itâs peaceful.
Itâs quiet. But oh, how you both love to create chaos.
Swapping pranks and schemes, you dying his hair pink, him dousing you in water. You both love it more when you plan together, combining your terrible power against unwitting targets. Lily really shouldâve been more careful around the flour, you shrugged. Not your fault, not really.
But itâs the mornings that you love the most, when you play your favourite game. How many kisses will it take for James to wake up? He cheats, he always does, keeping his eyes closed to keep your mouth moving. He tries but itâs never any use, he canât fool you.
See, James sighs when he wakes. Just slightly, only softly. But that one little breath betrays him, and itâs over. Lucky for him, you love to kiss him as much as he loves to be kissed, and he tricks you into kissing him every time.
It took a while, but now that youâve figured out which areas to pay particular attention to, heâs doomed to lose. You start your daily mapping of him at his chest. Gentle kisses to his clavicle, sucking a mark into the juncture of his shoulder and neck.
Itâs enough, usually. But not today.
Today, heâs stubborn. Determined to cling to sleep, to hold onto his dreams for as long as he can. He refuses to wake, so you play your ace. With a grin, you drag your mouth up his neck, past his lips, across his cheek. You capture his earlobe with your teeth, tugging slightly.
And⌠there. Jamesâ telltale sigh escapes his mouth. His eyes flicker, but remain closed. Stubborn.
He forfeits when you press a kiss to his lips, lips parting to draw you in and deepen the kiss. Tongue brushing against yours, and you lean back to watch his eyes open.
âGood morning, dear,â you whisper, and he smiles at your joke.
Eyes blinking open now, awake, tired. âHey, pretty girl.â
James may not believe in mischief in the morning, but you certainly do. Your best ideas come at dawn, and today is no exception. Itâs a cruel idea, a wicked one. But, then again, youâve always been a little bit wicked. James may feel warm, may be able to turn into a deer, but he hates the cold. Itâs a good thing your hands have always been on the opposite side of warm. Your cold, freezing cold fingers slide up to rest against his cheek, and you wait for the flinch.
It never comes.
James laughs softly, catching your fingers before they reach his face and slipping his own between them. âCaught you, love.â
You huff. âDamn you, Prongs.â
âYou canât possibly hope to scheme against the scheme master. Am a Marauder and all that, you know.â His grin shines in the morning light.
âYouâre right. How can I possibly stand a chance against you, O Mighty Marauder?â
Heâs staring into your eyes, distracted with the compliment, all soft edges and warm smile and bright eyes. You seize the opportunity. Quick as a whip, you dart your other hand up and press your fingers against his forehead. Now the flinch comes, and he groans as you laugh. âGot you.â
Itâs this, this right here. When people ask how he knew you were the one, he gives the same answer. Your beautiful, mischievous mind, so much like his own.
This is why he loves you. Your wit, sharp as sunlight.
Itâs a little early for any other couple. A little early to start jokes and schemes and chaos, cold hands and neck kisses. For anyone else, any other couple, but not for you. Never for you.
His hairâs falling in his eyes and you know, he really canât see without his glasses, but James swears youâve never looked more beautiful. You, with that mischievous glint in your eye, perfect mouth and furrow between your brows. He kisses your forehead, sliding his hand down to rest against your hip.
author's note: hey everyone! I know I haven't updated in a while, but I thought I'd make a comeback with a series! 'mornings with the marauders' is exactly what it sounds â each imagine a different character, a different morning. I hope you enjoy this instalment, and let me know who you'd like next!
James used to hate mornings.
Used to hate opening his eyes to face the world, surrendering sleep for another day. At Hogwarts, it was Sirius who pulled off his blankets and screamed at him to wake up, with Remus still asleep and Wormtail giggling in the corner. Mornings were no place for mischief, heâd hear himself argue. Mischief was firmly managed in the mornings.
If only the young lad could see himself now.
Heâs a changed man. How can he hate the morning when itâs you coaxing him into consciousness? The feel of your lips against his cheek, whispering his name with a grin. No, he loves waking up beside you.
Daylight sneaks in through the blind. Kissing your bare shoulder, stretching across the bedroom, diving into the dimples of Jamesâ cheeks. The open window brings in the cold of late autumn, slipping beneath the sheets, looking to snatching heat. But youâre not cold, not with James and his freakish warmth against your back. Heâs a blissful furnace beside you, arm draped over your waist to keep you secure against his chest. Itâs calm, itâs peaceful.
Itâs quiet. But oh, how you both love to create chaos.
Swapping pranks and schemes, you dying his hair pink, him dousing you in water. You both love it more when you plan together, combining your terrible power against unwitting targets. Lily really shouldâve been more careful around the flour, you shrugged. Not your fault, not really.
But itâs the mornings that you love the most, when you play your favourite game. How many kisses will it take for James to wake up? He cheats, he always does, keeping his eyes closed to keep your mouth moving. He tries but itâs never any use, he canât fool you.
See, James sighs when he wakes. Just slightly, only softly. But that one little breath betrays him, and itâs over. Lucky for him, you love to kiss him as much as he loves to be kissed, and he tricks you into kissing him every time.
It took a while, but now that youâve figured out which areas to pay particular attention to, heâs doomed to lose. You start your daily mapping of him at his chest. Gentle kisses to his clavicle, sucking a mark into the juncture of his shoulder and neck.
Itâs enough, usually. But not today.
Today, heâs stubborn. Determined to cling to sleep, to hold onto his dreams for as long as he can. He refuses to wake, so you play your ace. With a grin, you drag your mouth up his neck, past his lips, across his cheek. You capture his earlobe with your teeth, tugging slightly.
And⌠there. Jamesâ telltale sigh escapes his mouth. His eyes flicker, but remain closed. Stubborn.
He forfeits when you press a kiss to his lips, lips parting to draw you in and deepen the kiss. Tongue brushing against yours, and you lean back to watch his eyes open.
âGood morning, dear,â you whisper, and he smiles at your joke.
Eyes blinking open now, awake, tired. âHey, pretty girl.â
James may not believe in mischief in the morning, but you certainly do. Your best ideas come at dawn, and today is no exception. Itâs a cruel idea, a wicked one. But, then again, youâve always been a little bit wicked. James may feel warm, may be able to turn into a deer, but he hates the cold. Itâs a good thing your hands have always been on the opposite side of warm. Your cold, freezing cold fingers slide up to rest against his cheek, and you wait for the flinch.
It never comes.
James laughs softly, catching your fingers before they reach his face and slipping his own between them. âCaught you, love.â
You huff. âDamn you, Prongs.â
âYou canât possibly hope to scheme against the scheme master. Am a Marauder and all that, you know.â His grin shines in the morning light.
âYouâre right. How can I possibly stand a chance against you, O Mighty Marauder?â
Heâs staring into your eyes, distracted with the compliment, all soft edges and warm smile and bright eyes. You seize the opportunity. Quick as a whip, you dart your other hand up and press your fingers against his forehead. Now the flinch comes, and he groans as you laugh. âGot you.â
Itâs this, this right here. When people ask how he knew you were the one, he gives the same answer. Your beautiful, mischievous mind, so much like his own.
This is why he loves you. Your wit, sharp as sunlight.
Itâs a little early for any other couple. A little early to start jokes and schemes and chaos, cold hands and neck kisses. For anyone else, any other couple, but not for you. Never for you.
His hairâs falling in his eyes and you know, he really canât see without his glasses, but James swears youâve never looked more beautiful. You, with that mischievous glint in your eye, perfect mouth and furrow between your brows. He kisses your forehead, sliding his hand down to rest against your hip.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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summary: when you are young they assume you know nothing, but you knew james potter.
word count: 877
authorâs note: hey hi hello! welcome to the renewal of my love for james fleamont potter (though youâd never be able to tell with all this angst). this little ditty was inspired by taylor swiftâs âcardiganâ, with her lyrics sampled throughout.
When you are young they assume you know nothing, but you knew James Potter.
summary: when you are young they assume you know nothing, but you knew james potter.
word count: 877
author's note: hey hi hello! welcome to the renewal of my love for james fleamont potter (though you'd never be able to tell with all this angst). this little ditty was inspired by taylor swift's 'cardigan', with her lyrics sampled throughout.
When you are young they assume you know nothing, but you knew James Potter.
You knew him in the summer, when youâd show him your favourite Muggle spots. James delighted in the streetlights, because âLook at the lampâ itâs called a lamp, right? Right, yeah, so thereâs no magic, but itâs glowing!â Heâd wrap one hand around the pole and swing, the extent of his drunkenness evident as he lost his balance and fell into you. Youâd laugh at his amazement, smile at his love for your parentsâ world.
And, especially if he was in the mood, James would slip a hand beneath your shirt and kiss you sweetly.
â
A friend to all is a friend to none
Chase two girls, lose the one
James was quick to introduce you to Sirius and Remus and Peter, and they were quick to adopt you into the Marauders. Life was good â you had class, you had your friends, and you had James.
That all changed when he met Lily Evans.
Youâd notice Jamesâ eyes lingering on Lily for a second too long before he turned back to you, how his laugh was louder after one of her jokes, how he inadvertently-but-obviously worshipped the halls she walked.
Sirius told you it was harmless. Remus listened but told you it meant nothing. You were never that close to Peter. But James⌠James was hopelessly oblivious to his heartâs new desire.
â
To kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed
You drew stars around my scars
But now Iâm bleeding
The Three Broomsticks and Honeydukes dates were enough for you. Snuggling into a warm booth with a butterbeer in hand, his arm over your shoulder, that was enough. Choosing the right candy for the right gift, carefully selecting toffees and Chocoballs and nougat chunks, that was enough.
James could buy the world, could take you on the most extravagant adventure, but all you needed was him. Stealing kisses in that tucked-away booth, him guiding you around Honeydukes and introducing you to his favourite candies⌠it was enough for you.
â
I knew you
Leaving like a father, running like water
And when you are young, they assume you know nothing
The sound of Jamesâs laugh made you smile as you walked toward the familiar carriage, pulse quickening with every step.
The letters and visits over the summer had slowed, then stopped altogether. On the days he did visit, he was distracted more than usual, gaze unfocused and attention lost. You began to prefer the days he was absent.
But everything would return to normal. Whatever funk James was in over the summer had to have passed by now, and he would return to the hopelessly-in-love-with-you boy you knew. So why did you hear Lilyâs laugh accompanying him in the carriage?
You paused just before the doorway, daring to peek. Remus and Sirius were perched on one side, the formerâs head in a book and latter talking animatedly, and Peter was on the other. You leaned further, and there â Lily was sandwiched between James and Peter, and Jamesâs arm was around her shoulder.
Tears blinded you to the scene as your heart dropped, pulse stuttering. You backed away from the carriage, the tears falling now, and your brain finally caught up to your eyes and heart. The same thought trapped in a pathetic, gut-wrenching loop: James was no longer yours. James was no longer yours.
Your affectionate Chaser was now chasing someone else.
â
But I knew youâd linger like a tattoo kiss
I knew youâd haunt all of my what-ifs
The smell of smoke would hang around this long
âCause I knew everything when I was young
Your anger dulled, but your love remained.
James lingered in your mind, in your heart, in your peripheral vision. Youâd catch a glimpse of him in the hall, look closer, and find him gone. Youâd lie awake at night, wondering what if? What if heâd stayed? What if heâd chosen you?
What if youâd never introduced him to Lily Evans?
Those were the times when you hated him the most. Hated this feeling, hated the way your tears would soothe you to sleep, the way Remus looked at you with pity, the way Sirius stopped speaking to you. But most of all, you hated the way your eyes stayed fixed on him.
â
I knew Iâd curse you for the longest time
Chasing shadows in the grocery line
I knew youâd miss me once the thrill expired
And youâd be standing in my front porch light
James wondered why he was standing on the porch of your parentsâ house.
Lily was everything heâd ever wanted â funny with a sharp mind and wit, glorious hair â but something was missing. He missed the way youâd cuddle into him in the Broomsticks booth, your gentle huffs of breath on his neck. He missed your care packages of his favourite sweets, the way you knew he liked to start with Chocoballs, cleanse the palate with toffees, then finish with nougat chunks.
Most of all, James missed you.
But when you opened the door, stomach sinking and heart racing at the sight of him, you knew heâd come back to you. You just didnât know if youâd come back to him.
