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“A town always looked different once you’d returned, like a house where all the furniture had shifted three inches. You wouldn’t mistake it for a stranger’s house but you’d keeping banging your shins on the table corners.”

Love at first sight is the wrong connotation but it was something comparable. The first time we spoke I immediately felt it. A tingling. A little spark. I felt my life change right there and then.

“One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way. As someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in this world.”

Jab har cheez ko chhor hi jaana hai,

I always find you in the storm, in the raw power of the lightning that illuminates the sky, in the pouring rain, so wild and passionate, in the fury of the wind's song that makes me burn.

forgiveness was easy to ask of me. everything was easy to ask of me. all you had to do was write a candid letter at 2 am and mail it to me telling me why you did what you did and how sorry you were. I would wake up to it and read it and cry and call you right away.

“In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I… And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there’s a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots.”

“No matter how many years have gone by with us not talking, I could never completely cut you out of my life. I could never erase every last trace you’ve left behind. When two people go through so much together, it’s impossible to emerge unchanged. An inexplainable connection is forged that can withstand dark days and grief, but sometimes crumbles underneath something as relentless as time. I believe over the years we outgrow tiny parts of ourselves and when they have an impact on other people, we leave these fragments behind like footprints on their souls. In a way, I am the sum of the parts I created myself and of those others gave to me - most of them I got from you. You changed the way I looked at the world, so I guess it was only a matter of time until I picked up some of your habits. Truth is I still think of you when I drink hazelnut cappuccino or when that song we used to sing on karaoke nights plays on the radio. I can’t bear to throw away that mug you gave to me on my birthday twelve years ago. I wonder if there are moments that make you think of me. I hope they’re happy memories and don’t carry the weight of how our ways parted. You’re part of who I am today and I would never want to erase you. If I could give you one piece of me that stayed with you over the years and made you smile only once it’d be enough for me.”

It's the new year in less than an hour and frankly, I've learned a lot. The year brought its thrilling, tragic, shocking, and happy news and left us midway like I never thought it would. I went through a lot of changes. I learned that, at the end of the day it's only you. No one would wait for you to walk through life hand in hand, but rather you have to get through it yourself, and no one would say it's easy, but it's not like you've got to choose. I learned to build my future the way I want it to be and prioritize it the way it's supposed to be. I learned to dedicate time to myself and to think about you less. I'm done with all the daydreams; for now, I just wanna be good, good in every way, to me and to everyone else, and this year and from now on, I don't wanna wish for you and me like before, I wanna wish for myself, to be good, happy, kind, and satisfied. And about you, I erased everything, all the lingering feelings, and I threw them away like a frisbee and there's no one to throw it back to me. I put away all things that reminded me of you, and I'm sorry if that's not what you want or maybe it is, but I know it's better and healthier at least for me. And here is a warm goodbye to this year, for holding all the feelings, secrets, and moments bit by bit in itself. I really believe this year will be "The 1."

The hypocrisy of being human; the constant tug between solitude and company, the desire to love so desperately and simultaneously be detached from it all, of wanting everything and wanting nothing.

Aur iss tarah, waqt beet ta gya.. aur mulaqaat ki mohlat khatm hoti gyi...

Kaunse rang ka dil hai tera?