Hi hello OP I just want you to know this was completely convincing. I grew up around culverts and ditches so I know what I'm talking about.

“you can’t spend your entire life avoiding it” you are greatly underestimating my determination to not confront things

it's really interesting that some people live in a world where "therapy" isn't a whole host of various treatments with either positive or negative outcomes and which often doesn't work or requires significant outside support to make any meaningful difference, but instead a sort of magical amulet against being mentally ill that works automatically just by going there

horrible sinking feeling that i'll never belong anywhere

"Just be yourself!" no thanks, look where that got me.

unfortunately i actually AM impossible to love and its not just all in my head

I don't have a morning routine. I wake up on straight survival mode.

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid