i tried to be good

continuing to live in the house you grew up in when youre an adult is not for the weak i almost killed myself

i hate this house i hate this place i hate everything that happened here i hate that everyone pretends that everything is okay and that nothing bad ever happened here this house is a rotting corpse this house is infecting my bones with a sickness i cant escape

theres something so fucking wrong with me

im going to ruin everything on purpose im not going to take my meds im not gonna go to sleep im not gonna take care of myself im gonna do everything i can to destroy myself i dont care i dont care im going to destroy everything i am theres no purpose in my life and in my being

my family continuously decides to move my meds without telling me and now i found them genuinely fucking hidden in a basket covered in random fucking shit wow wow wow i love it here i fucking love it here im so glad my family cares about my wellbeing.

its the same damn thing every day of my fucking life the cycle repeats and repeats over and over im like a snake devouring my own tail

shout out to my parents for giving me this fucking disorder and ruining my life thanks guys couldnt have done it without you

i love having borderline personality disorder this is soooo fun this is great i love when tiny inconsequential things that dont matter at all ruin my entire fucking day and make me wanna kill myself

“it gets better!” not really but i love the enthusiasm

sure you love me but you dont like me and you never did

growing up with neglectful parents will make you tell stories about your childhood when youre an adult and your parents pipe up with “i dont remember that” yeah no shit

growing up with a religious mother means any time you tell her about your struggles she says god loves you and has a plan for you and all you want her to say is that she loves you

the things that are wrong with me will never go away