The Melting...

Haven't been on here in years, but I'm hoping this will make its way to the right person.

I’m by my cousins for a crawfish boil. Mad people, 100lbs of crawfish, everybody going to town. By the last 25lbs, it’s only about 10 of 40 people left at the table, and the number keeps going down. There’s about 6 of us still going at it now. There’s this white girl to my left and across the table, this black dude in the brightest blue shirt and hat-too-small-for-his-locs combo I think I’ve ever seen next to her, and her mom is next to me across from them. My conversation at this point was mostly with the people on my right up until now. But I can see they’re talking and enjoying themselves.

Fast forward two hours later. My cousin, the white girl, and I go get ice cream. When we get back to the house, my cousin gets out before us, so it’s just me and the white girl parking then walking up the street. This is two hours later remember, and she and I had been having good ass conversation for two hours and I’m thinking wow she’s a mad cool person.

So we’re walking up the street, and the black dude comes out of the house we’re headed into (where the boil was) and he’s on the phone, clearly giving directions. And a car pulls behind us in such a way that, to me, seems pretty obvious it’s the person he’s directing. At this point she goes “i don’t like when cars pull up slow like that” Understandable. But I’m like “I’m pretty sure they’re with him.” She says nothing.

We’re coming up on him now, and he sees our ice cream cups and starts talking about how that was a good idea, we should have told him blah blah blah. So I’m answering him and I’m thinking, maybe she didn’t see me slow down, or she’s just trying to get out of the street. Like maybe that’s why she’s now in front of me whereas she was behind me as we approached dude. But no, she keeps walking. Doesn’t say anything. I’m feeling weird, can’t figure out why, but whatever the reason, I didn’t completely stop either to talk to him. Partially b.c I was tired of people at this point, partially cuz it was hot af and my ice cream was melting, and partially because I can’t even tell you why but it was weird vibes.

So I’m talking as we pass, we pass, and I tell her “everybody thought ice cream was a good idea” She responds “where do we know him from?”

I’m throwed the fuck off by that. I realize was feeling weird cuz I was catching her discomfort.

I’m like “….he….was in the back with us? With you? Sitting right next to you for at least an hour dude.”

“oh yea”

Liiike. What? What are you saying. Where do WE know him from?! YOU know him, not me. You’ve been talking to this dude for at least 60minites straight. Breaking freaking bread yo.

It was safe in the backyard though. A bunch of people you knew, so you didn’t have to think twice about sitting, eating, and speaking with a black guy, right? It was safe back there. He had to be good people if he was with your people. But as soon as we step out of that space, now you don’t recognize him?? Now you’re scared? Now conversing with him is too dangerous? He’s a strange man on the street now???

And as I’m typing this, I realize that earlier in my conversations with her, she stopped talking and asked “who’s that man”. I turned and saw it was my dad. But I thought it was nothing in the moment because I assumed she knew most people there, and my family hadn’t been around like that for her to know. So if you think you know everyone except one person, hey why not ask. But my dad is Brown. Darker than me. So in hindsight, I’m wondering what she was really thinking…