Person Who Exists

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

once i get taken out back and shot i'll be fine

adhd is like I think it’s gonna take me fifteen minutes to fill up my water bottle

No I genuinely don't think there's any better wording of the last part

“You never pretended to be a bride when you were a little girl?” No???? Like literally never?

I made witch soups in my garden

I dislike the violence and unpredictability of the ice dispenser

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

fat pet cat is a kind of weighted blanket

I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence