The Violinist

hazmat suit with boob window

i will be the most fuckable person on the cleanup crew

i have radiation poisoning

Massive L to our ancestors for not domesticating the Bear for the ultimate friend

i sympathize with the post on the one hand but also ‘man we shoulda domesticated bears’ has the same energy as a divorced dad being like ‘i should have married that girl from high school’ when the girl in question was never ever interested and also turned out to be a lesbian frontwoman for an obscure but respected ska revival band

posts like these are why I can’t leave tumblr and have ultimately stopped trying

This site is the Bermuda Triangle for ADHD.

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

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the two headed calf poem and vincent d'onofrio’s tweet about pigs both hit me so hard and both have the exact same energy. there’s just something about the innocence of simple creatures and how they gaze at the stars the same way we do

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

the urge to look back even when you leave……. that’s human, baby

actually it’s a sign of dumbassery

what is love if not a little dumbassery 

okay well now that’s fair

oh fuck you

op has michigan in their url this is propaganda

more astronauts are from ohio than anywhere else. coincidence? i think not

Imagine being a child in Ohio wanting to go to space just so you can experience something for the first time in your life.

apparently I’m playing skyrim again… and by “playing skyrim” I obviously mean “spending hours installing mods before I ever open the game”

foreplay with Todd

do you ever think before you post

yes, I think “ha! funny” and hit post

this is going to be hilarious when this tweet came true step by step

Anne Frank said NO

Hathaway