hazmat suit with boob window
i will be the most fuckable person on the cleanup crew
i have radiation poisoning
we're not kids anymore.

titsay
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE

pixel skylines

Andulka

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

tannertan36

styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Xuebing Du

Kaledo Art

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

⁂

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@hende530
hazmat suit with boob window
i will be the most fuckable person on the cleanup crew
i have radiation poisoning

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Massive L to our ancestors for not domesticating the Bear for the ultimate friend
i sympathize with the post on the one hand but also ‘man we shoulda domesticated bears’ has the same energy as a divorced dad being like ‘i should have married that girl from high school’ when the girl in question was never ever interested and also turned out to be a lesbian frontwoman for an obscure but respected ska revival band
posts like these are why I can’t leave tumblr and have ultimately stopped trying
This site is the Bermuda Triangle for ADHD.
some of my favourite prince phillip tweets so far

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Argonath... the gate of kings.
Shipping companies rn:
My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”
She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.
Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.
Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).
You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.
Girl: *calls for aid*
Every single dad packed into the car:
This is possibly my favorite response to this post
This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys
Your husband and all his coworkers:
chuck e cheese google reviews are a freakin gold mine
Thank you for your input! Rate us 5 stars.

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the two headed calf poem and vincent d'onofrio’s tweet about pigs both hit me so hard and both have the exact same energy. there’s just something about the innocence of simple creatures and how they gaze at the stars the same way we do
thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love
the urge to look back even when you leave……. that’s human, baby
actually it’s a sign of dumbassery
what is love if not a little dumbassery
okay well now that’s fair
Smells like disappointment
oh fuck you
op has michigan in their url this is propaganda
more astronauts are from ohio than anywhere else. coincidence? i think not
Imagine being a child in Ohio wanting to go to space just so you can experience something for the first time in your life.
apparently I’m playing skyrim again… and by “playing skyrim” I obviously mean “spending hours installing mods before I ever open the game”
foreplay with Todd
do you ever think before you post
yes, I think “ha! funny” and hit post
Hate this
this is going to be hilarious when this tweet came true step by step

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it’s spelled disdain not distain
SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE EARTH SHATTERING PROSTATE ORGASM I JUST GAVE YOUR DAD
Anne Frank said NO
Hathaway