chronic confusion

THIS. IS ART. THISISFUCKINGART

“I wish you were here,” he said with his dying breath. “I didn’t even get the chance to say I love you.” 

“‘I love you’ he says as he pushes me against the wall. And I swear there’s a lightning storm beneath my skin that rages against the thunder pulsing through my blood. He kisses me, his hands brushing the hair away from my face, taking away every last shred of my dignity along with it. And I wonder if he can feel the ground shaking underneath my feet as he finds his way across new found territories and discovering long forgotten lands. I can taste galaxies embedded on his tongue and I’m colliding and hurdling through his space. His breath tickles my neck as he traces ‘I love you’ across a world inhabited by only him and he pulls me closer managing to lose me in his ocean. ‘I love you’ I say, his eyes going from caramel to deep chocolate. He is silent now, watching my breath come out in short gasps, his fingers leaving trails of fire on my skin and I’m burning. Oh my god I’m burning.”

“He wasn’t light. And I was afraid to pull him into my darkness. I didn’t want him to meet the skeletons in the closet. Or the ghosts that haunt my backyard. It wasn’t fair of me. To draw him out so easily. To pull him closer to an edge of no easy return. He wasn’t light. But his hands were still warm and his smile was still bright. I wavered. For a moment the ghosts weren’t rattling my rib cage and the skeletons weren’t banging at my chest. Is this what it’s like? I wondered. As I stared. Terrified. Watching my ghouls tear into his skin. And the witches fight over his heart. He wasn’t light but I was drawn to him. Like a moth to a single beautiful flame. It was a battle I had already lost long before I tasted his name. He wasn’t light. But for tonight the closets are silent. And the wails of spirits past aren’t chanting my name. For tonight, in my darkness, I’m not alone.”

“It didn’t make sense, but I swear I could see our futures together when I looked up at the stars. But I live in the city and the only stars that could shine were on empty coffee cups that clogged the gutters after a rain storm.”