there's nothing you can do for me, I'm already dead.
born 1938, died 1966, soul pending.
gwynn (she/her). independent fandomless original character. finder, maker & seller of magical artifacts. dead but still kicking, due to a soul not being attached to the body at the time of death, and never after. exploring the themes of the horrors of being a daughter, outliving your time and being forced to face yourself every day.
lovingly poked with a stick by kai, est. 2016, remade 2025.
find me on my other rp blogs — @handgiven & @lifestilled
/ bio under the cut, general rules apply. this blog is a wip. if anything is unclear, ask :)
"i was 28 when i died. an ugly 'ot summer night. i remember being sweaty when i came to and they said i was dead, and all i had to say was "'ow the fuck am i all sweaty then?" lousy bastards had nothin' to answer to that. said there was a discrepancy and i wasn't allowed passage. whatever the hell that meant. said there was no soul registered to my body, and if i never lived, well i never died either.
fairy godmother at the gate spoke in such sorry voice — "oh child, blah blah blah, you need to be brave now, blah blah blah, one final quest and you are through." could you believe it? they misplaced my soul in their bleedin' paperwork and i'm the one that's supposed t' work t' solve it? "oh yes, it's so you can reach your peace. you've gotta admit, there's beauty in earning your paradise, no?" peace'n'paradise m' bloomin' arse. i know where i was goin' and it sure as hell wasn't up there. i nodded though, accepted her stupid quest hoping that it'd get her off my back-- and it did. thing is, once you get put away into that dusty folder on the upper shelf, no one ever comes lookin'. you're free to go 'n' a) be the tool they want y' to be or b) be fucking free and make the most of it while they're not lookin'.
so hey, i'm dead, have been for sixty years, but I'm still kickin'. got into the business of makin' these protective amulets, back then when i was still scared they'd come a-knocking. not sure what good they'd have done me against the almighty back then but y' know i took the time, i read the books, i learned my stuff. and some of my amulets are the best on the market. that's why yer here, no? well, from there it was onto object-oriented magic. y'know i call it OOM, mostly, sounds cooler that way, no? found out i was pretty damn good at it! and even better at the sales... the thing is, when yer selling enchanted objects, it's as much about enchanting them as it is about enchanting the buyer. you've got t' convince 'em they need yer services, and y' need to convince 'em yer services are the real deal. if you're not stupid 'n' don't wanna run straight up charity, you'll typically work in the rule of threes. one real amulet and two pieces of junk at the cost of... oh y' know. y' just tell them they need to be used all at once and by the time they figure out which ones are broke yer long gone, or they don't remember what the amulets were supposed to do in the first place.
I wouldn't call it cheatin', mind you... I'd call it a smart business practice. hey, I've seen what those pigs on wall street get up to. you can't blame a girl fer wanting to turn profit. don't want me livin' in the street, do you? spent a couple years there and 't was no joke. even if there was freedom to it... freedom to learn the important things in life. for example, some coats have awfully shallow pockets. and some poor sods will pay you more for finding the wallet you stole than you'd find in there anyway. rich bastards got two and more wallets these days, would you believe that? — if I wasn't so damn good at enchanting objects i would have gone into technokinesis. no people work, just strollin' up to the atm straight up. i mean, when you think about it, i still work hard for my cash.
anyhow, how's the bracelet treating you? 's it good? 's it comfy? oh don't worry. that one works. i told ya you would forget this entire thing. but hey, that's why you're here, no? to forget? oh you'll be so pleased to know it works... might throw in something fer yer hair while we're at it, no? you know how people are... they find a strand and yer done for. an enchanted hairtie, genius, no? no one's gonna suspect a thing! hm, yeah. that one and... uh... ah! this little charm can go in your wallet, attract money. everyone seems to be into that these days. recession they call it. boohoo. i'm a great depression baby and look at me! more great than depressed, 'onest.
awh, fuck off with that look. take that thing off. I'll tell y' we shook on all that, yeah? you'll be uber impressed, rememberin' jackshit. good talk. thanks. who needs therapy when you've got amnesiac strangers! but now, really, take it off. annnnd... voila, that'll be three grand, darlin', per our agreement."
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let it be known that gwynn used to have a great button collection on her backpack back in the 80s, a lot of them dedicated to different facets of her identity... she doesn't really do so many of them any more bc she feels it looks silly but sometimes she will bring out some of the more beloved ones such as
i love gwynn's resourcefulness. honestly genuinely she thinks that anyone can do magic with strong ancient artifacts. making your own diy artifacts out of trash / things you find? that requires some real talent!!!
"aw, thanks, bestie." she says, gathering her makeshift runestones that spelled the message out back into their satchel. nothing about the message seems to upset her in any way, quite the opposite. she winks in your direction when she catches you staring. "see, i told you god's a girl's girl."
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thinking about... gwynn calling people who appear her age 'kid'....... you'll never catch her rambling & openly admitting to her age but this is one of the rare signs. she's so earnest when she says it too--
it's been eighty years but here's a starter for @harvestshope 's géraud <3
it did take her a forever to find the cashier. in fact, he found her; she could swear that at some point he'd just surfaced amidst the shelves, like just another bizarre piece of decoration himself, so neat and so short that he could cozily fit amongst most of them. that sated her curiosity for a bit — so that's the kind of guy who would run a shop like this — but ended up irking her all the more when she'd found that while finding him here was hard, shaking him would be even harder.
she'd had her eyes on a handful objects of various intensity, and didn't want to try her hand at obtaining them without knowing where he was. then again, neither did she want to with him right behind her back. for all of his unimposing composure, something tells her this could be dangerous. in a way, he's like her, whether he does it on purpose or not — piling heaps of rubbish on rubbish on rubbish and burying little nuggets of gold inside. actual proper magic. of course, her job would be easier if he didn't know what was actually worth the effort, but she couldn't afford to hope that that was the case. she knew his type. suit and tie... she knew it well enough to know that his and her type did not typically get along.
it's more out of genuine frustration than for any other reason. maybe she doesn't need that enchanted brooch. maybe that one genuine magical crystal in the sale basket was destined to be lost amidst the rest until some happy-go-lucky kind of fellow picked it up himself, and paid real buck for it. ah, but fuck. this was about thief's honor. really, nothing? this menagerie of bullshit and she takes nothing? over a guy her size watching her too intently?
"hey, dude, do you mind not hoverin' so much? i'm just browsin' and all this is makin' me so nervous i might drop somethin'. that crystal ball over there... man, would i just love to check it out! and yet. can't touch it. i know i'd drop it the second yer eye would flash my way. 's too flashy, you see. this... uh... does this work fer you? d'you always follow yer customers around?"
Char holds back an eye-roll when her offer is ignored, and tucks her hands into her pockets instead as she waits for Gywnn to gain her footing. Doesn't give a moment's pause before turning on her heel and heading towards the more populated street.
"I happened to be passing by." Which is mostly true. She had happened to be in the area, on her way to check in on Gwynn; can't have her little errant human getting herself killed again, she's already fudged enough paperwork to bury a small subcommittee. Char shrugs a shoulder. "Consider it a little...pro bono work. A side hustle."
"reapers don't hustle..." she says, walking fast to fully catch up to the other before they reach the street. even though as she says it, she immediately loses all certainty she'd had when she formulated that thought. if there were afterlife office rats who couldn't handle a misplaced soul... maybe there were also reapers who could hustle.
"—what's in it for you, anyway?" she's almost wondering if she should be offering more. she doesn't want to get caught up in all this stuff going over her head more than she already is.
"When you get to be my age, most relationships come to an end because everyone is dead and one gets used to being alone."
He stated blankly as he made his way towards her and sat down beside her near the fireplace. "If you say so. But I'll make sure to at least leave a dry towel out for you, just in case you change your mind or whatnot." The angel added on as he brought his gaze from the fireplace to Gwynn.
"How much do you know about the supernatural and celestials?" William asked as his gaze did not waver and stayed on Gwynn. He was curious to know how much she knew and if he could trust her with his secret. That he wasn't human, far from it. William Alexander Grey is a fallen angel, and he wondered if he could tell her that.
"—aight, that's bleak." his calm in saying it doesn't exactly lessen the weight of the words. they seem to settle on her shoulders and push her into the carpet. she shuffles, uncomfortably, and tears her eyes off of him. she opts for watching the fire, again, the way it dances around the fireplace, suggesting a beautiful shadow theater on a wall behind her that she cannot see. he insists on bringing her a towel, anyway. she doesn't argue, but doesn't thank him for it, either. what if the storm stopped, now? would she pick up and go running? possibly. it doesn't, though. doesn't stop. in fact, it gets worse at the thought alone, and she frowns to herself.
his question barely reaches her past the sound of thunder. she pretends not to hear it for a few seconds longer, pondering the wrinkled business card advertising her magic endeavors in her back pocket. how much do you want to know? how much does anyone wanna know? she shivers, and looks out the window. "—i don't really read comic books, sorry." it's easier to feign ignorance, at least until she knows what this is about.
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cosplaying as a housewife by getting up at 6am and baking cookies to be ready when my flatmakes wake up (i work in a bakery and my sleep schedule is fucked, also there were Shared Bananas that needed getting rid of, so they are banana bread cookies)
nickname(s): kai, or charlie to people who knew me once upon a time
zodiac: capricorn
last movie i saw: currently mid-watching la chimera. the last thing i finished would be project hail mary
last thing i googled: "umeboshi buy"
favorite musician: the narcissist cookbook, crywank, the magnetic fields, fred again..., monikino kino, květy, pokoj25, i could listen to any of them at any point, but there's plenty more music i enjoy...
song stuck in my head: every time this gets asked my mind blanks. but these past few days i have been pondering a song i am fairly sure i didn't just make up but i haven't been able to find it anywhere bcs i'm pretty sure it was just someone's hihihaha project — it was about how fucking hard it is to peel an onion, very expressive, very relatable
other blogs: @handgiven (emmie my beloved <3), @lifestilled (the tragic gay of my life), @stabheavy (hate to love him, but i do)
do i get asks: none that are unprompted, sadly. that comes with writing ocs a lot, i think. and i think it's a shame a lil bit but i do get it... one must work a lot harder to get the idea of their muse across to people enough to engage them to the point of asking by themselves
following: my beloved mutuals
amount of sleep: around 6 hrs on most days. which. not enough really.
lucky number: i like 13 personally
what i’m wearing: petrol blue sleeveless zip up hoodie which i find really funny and ironic as a concept and shorts
dream job: i would like to be the person that lights up the old streetlamps at dusk. or the person waving back at kids who wave at trains. i would also like to write, more.
dream trip: honestly anywhere, but at least for three months. to live more of the place than just what one can muster up to see and experience in a week.
favorite food: funny you ask because i have just made the best lime & chicken rice of my life today and i'm pretty sure no food is ever going to beat that
play any instruments: used to play the piano as a kid, never really liked it. now i have a ukulele and i'm okay at it but nowhere near good. i like singing tho.
languages: czech is my first language. english is the second. i took french for eight years. two years of latin. and then some bits of duolingo here and there which left me with some very random phrases in various languages. fun!
favorite songs: FUNGUS by the narcissist cookbook, vojtěchu by pokoj25, a. kurosawa by květy, someone new by hozier.......
random fact: i have three pet rats, their respective names being momo, chi (short for chihiro) and tina (short for velveteena)
describe yourself as aesthetic things: the beauty of the everyday, the strenuous process of finding it, of keeping up keeping your head up, and eyes open. the unaesthetic happenstances in the city. boarded up windows, old doors, new letterboxes. all regarded with tenderness <3
tagged by @thrownsoul <3 thank u
tagging @endless-youth @narrativefinale @stillandsilentheart @fellandfeathers @dwindlingambition who can all ignore this if they so feel && also anyone who might have fun with it <3
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ngl i really love the dynamic of... gwynn cashing in on people's contemporary mess of spirituality whereafter they will believe anything if it's packed just right. && gwynn likely being underestimated and judged by those performing older more traditional sorts of magic. because what she does has no tradition. she just came up with it all by herself on her way back from dying.
