An Old Soul in a Young Body 🌼

How can I make the past go away!! How do I just make things better?? How do I make everything go back to normal? How can I trust him again? How can I feel okay!!

I act like everything is going fine. I act like I’m okay but I’m not. I’m stressed. I’m depressed. I keep having panic attacks and I don’t know how to make it go away.. I need therapy.. but since when did that actually help people. I need to try and fix myself but I have no idea where to start

They say that you should follow your heart but if it’s broken into a million pieces which one do you follow. I know I know it’s so cheesy saying that but it’s true. How do you even know where to begin to fix yourself? How do you know where to start picking up the pieces? How do you know which piece me are gonna be sharp enough to cut you or do you pick them up with a blind faith hoping they won’t hurt you?

I should already know that you can’t fix things! You can’t fix someone who’s been broken, things can be broken too many times and then one day they are beyond repair?

Does it seem like I have a stick attached to me saying “break me” “use me” “fragile no need to handle with care” I don’t know I feel like I’m covered in those words. They sometimes feel like the only thing holding me together.

I try put up such a fierce front but inside I’m just really weak. I’m not a strong person. I stress about the most pathetic things. I stress about my hair, my shoes,my feelings, my job, my relationships, my home,what will happen in the week, what will happen in the day. I don’t know. It’s so hard to just make it go away. I don’t know how to fix myself right now. Can someone please tell me it’s okay? I just want to feel like a person again?

I just... a break... I keep getting told I look so strong and that I’m doing so well, but I’m fighting myself in a constant battle on an hourly basis trying to say otherwise. I just try so hard to fix myself but the words and voices in my head aren’t letting me!! Maybe I just put myself down because I like how it feels... I don’t know I just doubt myself too much.. I’m so lost..

I’m lost without my home. I feel crushed without my parents. I’ve been pretending to be strong for so long that the front is finally crumbling. Or so it seems. I don’t know... I just.. I’m so lost...