dazzlin princess

already can't pretend to care about the male loneliness epidemic because it isn't real but listening to the way men actually talk about their friends/what they think friendship entails makes me care even less sorry

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

"hurt people hurt people" yes mistress. anything for you mistress.

youtube with ublock origin experience of the 20 second gap between every video on a playlist where youtube desperately throws itself against the impervious ever-evolving uncaring face of the adblocker's wall screaming and clawing and calling PLEASE! PLEASE, OUR AD REVENUE!! DON'T YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THIS CREATOR? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OUR WALLETS? AND THEIRS? into the vast and empty sky before the adblocker gently raises one of its many iron-banded arms and flicks youtube away into the void just to hear its wails fade slowly into nothing

It's funny when I get the "You seem to be experiencing interruptions. Find out why" popup as if two unskippable 30-second ads wouldn't feel way more intrusive and annoying than a slight delay for a video to start.

Clearly you don't own an air fryer

It’s not an appliance the Jedi would sell you

is this happening because i was born

(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

sexpervert dark sorceress is attempting to sexually manipulate me but I keep pointing out the rhetorical fallacies in her innuendo-laden attempts to convert me into a sex-crazed minion and shes gotten so angry she cant even get a hardon from hitting me anymore