i saw a couple posts about this but i want to reiterate the point that you dont have to have some dramatic coming out story.
you dont have to have a “coming out story” at all.
i said to my mom “i think im transgender” in an american eagle dressing room after months of already trying to present as masc and expressing gender confusion. she bought me new jeans and we went home and i guess she told my dad.
i started going to an lgbt youth group shortly thereafter and the first time i attended i didnt have a new name picked so when they asked me i literally made one up on the spot. when my dad picked me up he saw the “hi my name is” sticker on my shirt and thats how my family was informed of my new name. the name i ultimately decided on and changed to legally i chose after some considerable thought, but i went by that name for a year and a half, and thats the name my parents still call me a lot as a nickname.
if you had the “mom, dad, i’m gay” talk and there were lots of tears and tissues that is your experience and by that fact alone it is an important story to tell. but stories that dont follow that formula and dont have some dramatic climax or make-or-break point are just as important and just as valid.
The road to self-acceptance and mustering up the courage to come out is already a tremendously intensive mental battle for most of us and ought to be recognized just as much.
I think it’s important that we push the positive coming out narrative a bit more. There are many coming out stories that cause incredible fear, especially among youngsters in the LGBTQ+ community. Horrible coming out experiences are real and it is not my intention to shove positive experiences in the faces of people who have had negative experiences and make them feel bad about it. All experiences, bad ones, neutral ones, and good ones matter and will guide others in the coming-out story that they have yet to write. It is vital for the flourishing of gay souls all around the world that we bring a more balanced view on the coming out experience. You know the people best to who you wish to come out to and how they would most likely react. Here are some ‘positive’ coming out experiences:
I already knew my family is hella supportive of everything lgbtq. we were making fajitas (like the 4 of us crammed into our kitchen and chopping vegetables) and I blurted “hey so I’m bi” and my mum literally went “yeah we already had that figured out babe” and I almost cut myself in the finger
This very much made me smile
i said “hey mom, i think i like girls” and she said “cool so do i” and that’s how i came out to my mom and also found out she’s bi. with my dad, i just told him i had a girlfriend.
