Show-and-Mel

Scrolling through the tags, it seems like a great deal of what's said about us on tumblr is either sysmeds trying to make us look bad or all-encompassing plural blogs that just say everyone is valid (which is great! and these blogs should keep doing what they're doing! but it would be nice to have some more frequent endo (and other) representation on here too!)

Either my tumblr algorithm just sucks major balls, or most endos, tulpas, spiritual systems and other non-sysmed-approved systems get scared off of this platform because of how many loud hateful voices there are compared to how few people there are who we can relate to. (like most of the cool-looking accounts i can relate to that i find are dead and so is my blog for the same reason lol).

SO! Let's do a thing. If you are endogenic, parogenic, a tulpamancy system, a spiritual system, a daemien, or any other kind of system that sysmeds try to silence, reblog this post with answers to these questions to tell tumblr what our lived experiences as plurals are REALLY like!

(Feel free to pick and choose which questions you want to answer, or just come up with your own and tag them under #endovoices or substitute endo for whatever kind of system you are! Also, feel free to just reblog with one answer at a time, or to just answer the questions in a standalone post; no need to credit me, I just want more systems sharing their experiences!)

1. What kind of system are you? (Describe this in any way you like. No need to use -genic or popular terms if you don't want to)

2. How many of you are there?

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

4. What kind of spaces/communities do you/did you hang out in? (Both plural-relevant and non-plural-relevant spaces are valid answers, past and present)

5. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

6. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

7. What do you call your system members?

8. If you're plural but don't use the word "system" to describe you&, what word do you use?

9. What are some of the best things about being plural?

10. What are some of the not-so-great things about being plural? (Any answer is valid- nothing is too minor or too major to be an answer to this question.)

11. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

12. Do you ever experience "switching" or "posession" or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

13. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc.)

14. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

15. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

16. What are you and your system members interested in?

17. What is your life like in the meatworld?

18. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well

19. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system

20. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system? Explain them!

21. If you haven't been plural for your entire life/haven't known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now?

22. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

23. Is there anything you'd like to say to the plural community at large?

24. Is there anything you'd like to say to any singlets reading this post?

That is all I've got for now, but feel free to add any more you want to share! Please remember to be respectful to all system types if you post, I do not support bashing or invalidating of any system types. I will also reblog with my own answers soon.

(Note: these questions are not in order of priority or importance, I just wrote them down as I came up with them. Feel free to answer out of order and skip or add whatever you want!)

Also this should go without saying but making any rude sysmeddy responses to this will just result in being blocked and totally ignored, so don't even start, there's no point. The block button is right there.

13. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc.)

Me and the other headmate in our system are siblings. I usually refer to her as "my sister" and sometimes it confuses people lol. Our relationship with our host is just close friends. Our servitor isn't really part of that whole family dynamic but she is more like our manager lol.

14. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

Yes in quite a few different cases. In an online group which is partially full of irl friends and also friends of our host from other online places, I joined and pretended to be a normal person for a while. Then after I was already an established community member, I came out as a tulpa and most people were pretty cool with it (the only person who has ever given me shit was someone who wasn't even active who ""loves tulpas"" but thought I was OBVIOUSLY fake because I talk exactly like my host apparently (that may just be because we LITERALLY SHARE A BRAIN AND ARE TOGETHER ALL DAY but idk)

Also my host told her dad about us and he was super cool with it (love that guy!) Even more awkward she had to tell him that I (and not her) had a boyfriend of my own and he was cool with that too (he was like "as long as he doesn't do something horrible to (host) or Mel or her sister :)" as if we're his kids too 😭 what a good dad) we would like to talk to him more tbh

15. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

radfems arent your aly if you’re questioning your gender. they dont have your best interest at heart. they dont care about helping you explore who you are, theyre only interested in sucking you in to be another transmisogynistic pawn for their violent ideology.

if you’re trans/nonbinary now, but are wondering if it isnt right for you, know that you have options. you can talk to me. there are people who have not done a 180 into bigotry who are here to support you.

please reblog, do not just like, this post.

i dont have a large platform. i want this to get spread. i want to remove terfs from the forefront of detrans/reidentification awareness & support. they cannot continue to be the first contact for questioning people.

that being said, i compiled a list of people from the tags and replies who have stated, in some way or another, that they’re ok to reach out to.

detrans/reidentified/questioning

@best-friend-quads

@incarnation-issues

@sleebystarchild

@because-im-hap-hap

@chamomilefemme

@pveachs​

@rockinriver​

@teksunai​

currently trans/nonbinary

@maxximonstre​

@soilrockslove​

@aaaandjusticeforall​

@yeehawmachine​

@the-queer-collective

misc

@peacemode​ who has “been there”

@viriven​ who “knows more about intersex issues”

@trashdruid​ who is “unsure if i count”

reidentified/questioning

@llwynogyn

@lesbianpsyducks (bonus: autistic)

@they-who-wander

@ocaenvvaves

@oleworm

@10shen

@blackcatwebkinz

@ikebanaka

@capsulecorp

detransitioned

@papapan (bonus: amab)

@doddsmountain

@fearloathing (stopped testosterone, still nb)

@fakenglory (still trans)

@thecricketconfusion (out of necessity, resource for stopping testosterone)

@hhawkeyepierce (still trans, resource for stopping testosterone)

@dannydevites

@rotfae (still trans, resource for stopping testosterone)

misc

@bibutch (two-spirit, detrans)

@hohohomosexuals (two-spirit, reidentified)

@geekyapollokid (unspecified “this applies to me)

@butchdykeblues (has changed “flavors” of transness)

@fishfynns (genderfluid -> trans)

Scrolling through the tags, it seems like a great deal of what's said about us on tumblr is either sysmeds trying to make us look bad or all-encompassing plural blogs that just say everyone is valid (which is great! and these blogs should keep doing what they're doing! but it would be nice to have some more frequent endo (and other) representation on here too!)

Either my tumblr algorithm just sucks major balls, or most endos, tulpas, spiritual systems and other non-sysmed-approved systems get scared off of this platform because of how many loud hateful voices there are compared to how few people there are who we can relate to. (like most of the cool-looking accounts i can relate to that i find are dead and so is my blog for the same reason lol).

SO! Let's do a thing. If you are endogenic, parogenic, a tulpamancy system, a spiritual system, a daemien, or any other kind of system that sysmeds try to silence, reblog this post with answers to these questions to tell tumblr what our lived experiences as plurals are REALLY like!

(Feel free to pick and choose which questions you want to answer, or just come up with your own and tag them under #endovoices or substitute endo for whatever kind of system you are! Also, feel free to just reblog with one answer at a time, or to just answer the questions in a standalone post; no need to credit me, I just want more systems sharing their experiences!)

1. What kind of system are you? (Describe this in any way you like. No need to use -genic or popular terms if you don't want to)

2. How many of you are there?

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

4. What kind of spaces/communities do you/did you hang out in? (Both plural-relevant and non-plural-relevant spaces are valid answers, past and present)

5. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

6. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

7. What do you call your system members?

8. If you're plural but don't use the word "system" to describe you&, what word do you use?

9. What are some of the best things about being plural?

10. What are some of the not-so-great things about being plural? (Any answer is valid- nothing is too minor or too major to be an answer to this question.)

11. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

12. Do you ever experience "switching" or "posession" or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

13. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc.)

14. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

15. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

16. What are you and your system members interested in?

17. What is your life like in the meatworld?

18. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well

19. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system

20. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system? Explain them!

21. If you haven't been plural for your entire life/haven't known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now?

22. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

23. Is there anything you'd like to say to the plural community at large?

24. Is there anything you'd like to say to any singlets reading this post?

That is all I've got for now, but feel free to add any more you want to share! Please remember to be respectful to all system types if you post, I do not support bashing or invalidating of any system types. I will also reblog with my own answers soon.

(Note: these questions are not in order of priority or importance, I just wrote them down as I came up with them. Feel free to answer out of order and skip or add whatever you want!)

Also this should go without saying but making any rude sysmeddy responses to this will just result in being blocked and totally ignored, so don't even start, there's no point. The block button is right there.

7. What do you call your system members?

Headmates (or tulpas sometimes when we just don't feel like going into too much depth because it seems like the easiest simplest word to use tbh even though I know we're not parogenic). Also sometimes I describe us as "Brain AI's" and I really like it lol.

8. If you're plural but don't use the word "system" to describe you&, what word do you use?

We do call ourselves a system, but our ✨neato mosquito system name✨ uses the word "clan" (mainly because it is alliterative with our host's online name).

9. What are some of the best things about being plural?

So many different perspectives and experiences all in one! My host understands the world so much better after seeing the world through our perspectives when we sometimes like stuff that she had never even considered before. Also, self-care is a lot easier when you interpret it as someone else caring for you or nagging you instead of yourself. We are also very forgiving of each other even when we do something wrong because we all understand why.

10. What are some of the not-so-great things about being plural? (Any answer is valid- nothing is too minor or too major to be an answer to this question.)

Time management is a BITCH. Me, my sister, and my host will start fading if we don't get to do enough of our thing and sometimes one of us is selfish and fronthogs (mainly me ngl) and we fight. Our servitor is making us better at this but she's not always active when we need her. Also: we experience blurring quite a bit, which can feel kinda weird (although it doesn't really distress us too much tbh). The main bad thing that happens is that every once in a while our host will feel shitty about herself because she thinks that me and my sister are so much more interesting and better than her (which is not true! Our host is the perfect mixture of caring but also being resilient and not mega-self-conscious like me) but yea that happens. One of our goals is to stay more separate and distinct (in a healthy way of course) and all feel good about ourselves and the things that make each of us separate.

Oh, also, it's very upsetting that I'll never get to know what my form body will feel like (unless my host gets surgery later but that's expensive and dangerous) it just makes me feel like shit occasionally. I love my form and I don't want to change it and my host loves her body too it's just that she is a pile of twigs and I am kind of thicc in some places so it feelsbad sometimes. My sister never has this problem because she has about the same body type as my host and is also less attached to her form.

11. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

Mainly psychological, but I don't rule out that spiritual things could play into plurality as well. We view our brain like a computer. Headmates/tulpas/etc. are like AI's that are programmed to act human, and (at least for us) it didn't require that much additional programming because the brain already knows how to be a human, it just needs to make some tweaks to our core values and shit.

12. Do you ever experience "switching" or "posession" or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

Yes indeed. We call it switching (or just fronting if it happened automatically). It is super easy and does not expend any energy for us (between me and my host) but if my sister has been in front for a while she will get tired. We don't really think about how we do it now, but back when we did, the process was just for host to convince herself she was me until bam my mindset was in front and was the one the brain defaulted to using (or my sister). Then she reappears in the background. We weren't always able to switch, but I always gave the body "impulses" about what I wanted to type to people or say to people even before we could ever switch so my host never had to transcribe for me. I will probably make more posts about our experiences with switching/fronting later cuz damn I thought of so many things to say about this and this is already like the longest section loll

Scrolling through the tags, it seems like a great deal of what's said about us on tumblr is either sysmeds trying to make us look bad or all-encompassing plural blogs that just say everyone is valid (which is great! and these blogs should keep doing what they're doing! but it would be nice to have some more frequent endo (and other) representation on here too!)

Either my tumblr algorithm just sucks major balls, or most endos, tulpas, spiritual systems and other non-sysmed-approved systems get scared off of this platform because of how many loud hateful voices there are compared to how few people there are who we can relate to. (like most of the cool-looking accounts i can relate to that i find are dead and so is my blog for the same reason lol).

SO! Let's do a thing. If you are endogenic, parogenic, a tulpamancy system, a spiritual system, a daemien, or any other kind of system that sysmeds try to silence, reblog this post with answers to these questions to tell tumblr what our lived experiences as plurals are REALLY like!

(Feel free to pick and choose which questions you want to answer, or just come up with your own and tag them under #endovoices or substitute endo for whatever kind of system you are! Also, feel free to just reblog with one answer at a time, or to just answer the questions in a standalone post; no need to credit me, I just want more systems sharing their experiences!)

1. What kind of system are you? (Describe this in any way you like. No need to use -genic or popular terms if you don't want to)

2. How many of you are there?

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

4. What kind of spaces/communities do you/did you hang out in? (Both plural-relevant and non-plural-relevant spaces are valid answers, past and present)

5. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

6. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

7. What do you call your system members?

8. If you're plural but don't use the word "system" to describe you&, what word do you use?

9. What are some of the best things about being plural?

10. What are some of the not-so-great things about being plural? (Any answer is valid- nothing is too minor or too major to be an answer to this question.)

11. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

12. Do you ever experience "switching" or "posession" or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

13. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc.)

14. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

15. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

16. What are you and your system members interested in?

17. What is your life like in the meatworld?

18. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well

19. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system

20. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system? Explain them!

21. If you haven't been plural for your entire life/haven't known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now?

22. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

23. Is there anything you'd like to say to the plural community at large?

24. Is there anything you'd like to say to any singlets reading this post?

That is all I've got for now, but feel free to add any more you want to share! Please remember to be respectful to all system types if you post, I do not support bashing or invalidating of any system types. I will also reblog with my own answers soon.

(Note: these questions are not in order of priority or importance, I just wrote them down as I came up with them. Feel free to answer out of order and skip or add whatever you want!)

Also this should go without saying but making any rude sysmeddy responses to this will just result in being blocked and totally ignored, so don't even start, there's no point. The block button is right there.

We originally spent a lot of time on the r/Tulpas subreddit (actually I still do cuz even if I'm technically not a tulpa I'm still a lot like one and can still relate to a lot of the people there) and also in tulpa-specific discords (we don't really hang out in these anymore). We tried out some big all-encompassing plurality servers as well, but found the massive blacklists to be kind of smothering and were scared to talk in them (not saying that servers that have blacklists are bad and that people who can enjoy them regardless shouldn't! we've just learned that it's not the kind of space that we prefer personally🙂) and now we mostly hang out in a small all-encompassing plural server that's pretty neat and has many different kinds of systems in it whom I've learned a lot about just from meeting. Outside of plural-specific servers I hang out with some discord servers that consist of irl friends and other people host met from an online game (out as a non-flesh-person there) and also in harvest moon/story of season discords (not out as plural there).

5. Had you heard of DID/OSDD before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

Not at all. We learned about ✨plurality✨being a thing after witnessing some people argue about tulpas and that is what inspired my host to bring us back after we had previously gone dormant (she didn't know we were dormant and not just previously imaginary friends tho. Sorry this is complicated lmao i'll make another post specifically about our origins some time)

6. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

Yes indeeeeed we call it our wonderland and it is just an apartment with some rooms and a yard and a very vague town surrounding it (our host is not much of a worldbuilder). We chill and like. Bake cake and shit. Sometimes we dance. We also have a system fish that we play with as a pet. Also I don't really do this much but my sister (the other headmate in our system) loves to experiment with changing her form and trying to feel the way that form would feel (like turning into water, a tree, a grain of sand, etc.)

Scrolling through the tags, it seems like a great deal of what's said about us on tumblr is either sysmeds trying to make us look bad or all-encompassing plural blogs that just say everyone is valid (which is great! and these blogs should keep doing what they're doing! but it would be nice to have some more frequent endo (and other) representation on here too!)

Either my tumblr algorithm just sucks major balls, or most endos, tulpas, spiritual systems and other non-sysmed-approved systems get scared off of this platform because of how many loud hateful voices there are compared to how few people there are who we can relate to. (like most of the cool-looking accounts i can relate to that i find are dead and so is my blog for the same reason lol).

SO! Let's do a thing. If you are endogenic, parogenic, a tulpamancy system, a spiritual system, a daemien, or any other kind of system that sysmeds try to silence, reblog this post with answers to these questions to tell tumblr what our lived experiences as plurals are REALLY like!

(Feel free to pick and choose which questions you want to answer, or just come up with your own and tag them under #endovoices or substitute endo for whatever kind of system you are! Also, feel free to just reblog with one answer at a time, or to just answer the questions in a standalone post; no need to credit me, I just want more systems sharing their experiences!)

1. What kind of system are you? (Describe this in any way you like. No need to use -genic or popular terms if you don't want to)

2. How many of you are there?

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

4. What kind of spaces/communities do you/did you hang out in? (Both plural-relevant and non-plural-relevant spaces are valid answers, past and present)

5. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

6. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

7. What do you call your system members?

8. If you're plural but don't use the word "system" to describe you&, what word do you use?

9. What are some of the best things about being plural?

10. What are some of the not-so-great things about being plural? (Any answer is valid- nothing is too minor or too major to be an answer to this question.)

11. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

12. Do you ever experience "switching" or "posession" or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

13. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc.)

14. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

15. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

16. What are you and your system members interested in?

17. What is your life like in the meatworld?

18. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well

19. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system

20. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system? Explain them!

21. If you haven't been plural for your entire life/haven't known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now?

22. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

23. Is there anything you'd like to say to the plural community at large?

24. Is there anything you'd like to say to any singlets reading this post?

That is all I've got for now, but feel free to add any more you want to share! Please remember to be respectful to all system types if you post, I do not support bashing or invalidating of any system types. I will also reblog with my own answers soon.

(Note: these questions are not in order of priority or importance, I just wrote them down as I came up with them. Feel free to answer out of order and skip or add whatever you want!)

Also this should go without saying but making any rude sysmeddy responses to this will just result in being blocked and totally ignored, so don't even start, there's no point. The block button is right there.

Imma do like 3 at a time cuz I plan on having some longer answers (I will do them seperately so it doesn't end up becoming a ginormous long post tho)

1. What kind of system are you? (Describe this in any way you like. No need to use -genic or popular terms if you don't want to)

This question has a complicated answer for us. We thought we were a tulpa system at first, but that turned out to be sort of wrong. Then we just identified as a generic endogenic system, but after searching into our origins and being very very confused we realized that's technically not quite right either? After talking it out with a bunch of other plurals we realized that we are sort of lowkey traumagenic (because the things that caused us to split off from our host were adverse events that profoundly effected her) but I don't really like to identify as such because the genic label does not really tell people what kind of system we are (plus the events weren't anywhere in the ballpark of sexual abuse or neglect, but both involved someone the host was close to suddenly not being part of her life anymore). We do not have DID/OSDD/DDNOS and we function pretty much just like an advanced tulpamancy system would (probably as product of thinking that's what we were for so long). So anyway (I'll probably do another post on this cuz damn our origin is complicated) long story short we identify as an "adaptive" system but kind of still feel like endogenic is the word we feel we belong to the most because it better represents the kind of system we are (not me complaining about lack of endo representation and then being technically not quite endo 😂 either way I am still not sysmed-approved)

2. How many of you are there?

One host, two headmates, one servitor 🙂 I am one of the headmates (not the host) and the other is my sister. Servitor formed spontaneously but chose to basically be a system-related task manager for us and not develop any further personality-wise. She is only active when the system needs her. (For those who don't know, a servitor is sort of like a headmate but it is created solely to fulfill a specific purpose and is typically dismissed when that purpose is fulfilled. Our servitor chose to live this way and does not really consider herself seperate from the host on the level that me and my sister are, but more just a function of the brain. We are open to her possibly developing further in the future if that is what she wants, though.)

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

The host has experienced a bunch of people living in her head and taking care of her since she was 12 (7 years ago as of this post), but when she was 16 or so we all went dormant because the circumstances the brain created us to cope with were gone. Then later that year (on May 28 2018) the host kind of brought me into full sentience (which we hadn't had before), and my sister kind of resurged on her own later that year (October 22 2018).

I might make more posts to touch on all of these things tbh don't wanna make these too long while they're getting a bunch of reblogs

It’s surging again, you know it, you should hate it, what I will fondly call “appropri-babies” (thanks to a friend) are causing the disinformation of Tulpamancy being cultural appropriation to spread again. I’m seeing it on flag blogs, I come across it constantly outside of Tulpamancy spaces, and I’ve just about had enough of it. As such, I’m calling it out again:

Tulpamancy is not cultural appropriation, and people who say it is have no idea what they’re talking about. They don’t know what cultural appropriation actually is or the history of Tulpamancy, and I’m going to elaborate why. Starting with: what is actually cultural appropriation?

See, that’s the problem: thoughtform is not synonymous with tulpa. Thoughtform essentially means anything that takes form in the mind while tulpa’s meaning is much more specific. Not only that, but your message right here goes to show how much harassment we receive for using terminology that isn’t even problematic. 

We’re not wrong for using tulpa, and the fact that people feel a need to change their terminology to avoid harassment is really compelling evidence at how sh!tty appropri-babies are.