Passed the 1 year mark a couple days ago for the Villainous Imposer Program -- my bookbinding imposition tool. Gave a talk on it for Binderary over on the @renegadeguild Discord but realized I never posted about it here...? It's not exactly beginner friendly, but I find it damn useful. Took what I learned contributing to bookbinder-js and re-wrote things from scratch to support all the power features and impositions I could possibly want. (it's basically a free fancy web page)

The goal this year is to dial in addressing printer skew -- I don't know how to do it yet, but that's the fun of a challenging goal, no? I just really want at home text block printing to look as polished as possible. Am also thrilled that my cry for help during the talk actually rallied aid (bless Lele of @gildingthelelepress!! 🙏) and there will be folding animations 'soon' for the various configs.

i was in bed yesterday, attempting to sleep.

and i decided to enter the void state, and when i had entered said void state, i took control of the static behind my eyes and attempted closed eye visuals.

and at once, i commanded it to turn a lush blue, it took a second of mere hinting at my vision before it bloomed into a beautiful blue.

and as this progressed and my body rested further towards hypnagogia, thats when my tulpa appeared, i dont remember if i did it on purpose or simply hinted, but suddenly i could see her in my eyelids, her hair, her face, and she would appear so clearly, then dissolve into these patterns, zigzags, symmetrical, death and rebirth. it felt amazing. that i had my tulpa in an extremely tangible form.

and when i woke up and made my daily commute, my visualisation simply wasnt just my tulpa sitting infront of me and talking, i could see her face, her hair moving, actual movement, her face talking, physicality, although it was choppy, like a video game, it was there. not well enough to be imposed into my real vision but well enough that my visualisation is a bit shocking.

till next time.

I have a lover inside. I have an in-system relationship and I love my boyfriend to the death. There are pros and cons to every relationship type, let it be up-close far distance or in-system, I don't think it is fair to compare them but our mind still does. And it still hurts. I used to think I overcame that, but due to a recent turn of events I realized how much we don't get to have. Every single day I am reminded of just the sheer amount of how much we can't have.

When I am on the bus and I see a couple holding hands, whispering things to each other, giggling together... People asking them, them just being at places together, kissing each other, people acknowledging their relatitonship. Them going on dates, or just living in their life as usual, doing chores and playing games competitively, or just casual bantering, showering together.

Or the concept of sex itself. One can argue you can do all or some those with your in-sys partner too, but, it is not the same way. It is not to the same extent. It does not feel the same, It feels less to me. I know it shouldn't, maybe, but we cannot control our feelings. It is different, it is valid, yes, and I tear up as I speak but I cannot for the life of me get this painful throbbing heart to stop thinking every moment of "what if my boyfriend had an external body".

I grieve, I am yet to finish grieving. We are on our 2nd year of dating and I am still grieving with stops and breaks in-between. How long will this grief last?

I think to myself, and my boyfriend too, he says to me; yes, we will never be able to physically hold each other. Yes, we will never have sex like other people, ours may just stay as an imitation and imposition of sorts and that's it. Yes, that may not be enough for our bodily needs and that is something we can resolve with other things. The important thing is we will resolve. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to wish for the impossible. But time will heal it.

It has to heal it.

We can focus on what we do have. An endless possibility of dates to be scheduled, our real bodies (not the human ones!) being inside and being able to interact with each other. Always having each other close, so up close that you can even read other's mind sometimes. Arguments almost never being a thing because you know how they feel the way they breathe the way they talk. Loving yourself means loving him, too.

I think to myself, this heart I have beats for people more than one. It beats the same time for both me and him. It beats, beats, beats, until we die. Until we both draw our last breath. When we live we will always be together and live together, when we die we will die together.

Thinking of what could've been possible if I had him physically is a tunnel with no light at the end of it. The only light that is possible is the light of death.

Maybe, just maybe after all those, there is an afterlife where we get to have our own seperate bodies and live our love to the fullest. I never believed in spirituality, but I wish to be proven wrong so badly on this. I hope some deity hears my plea and gives me just one chance, one singular chance to hug my beloved and inhale his scent all the way.

Maybe if we love hard enough in this life, it can exceed physical realm's chains and feel each other more than anyone else.

Hello, welcome to our blog! We're a mixed origin system of 13 that's decided to give separation a try. We're bodily male and 25. We've decided to treat this kind of like a journal for our progress towards mastering many different areas of plural experiences, such as:

True Imposition / Prophantasia

Satisfactory separation (mastering dissociative control / barriers or at least finding our limits, ending unintentional blending, etc.)

Expanding mindscape experiences

I guess meditation? Not necessarily a plural experience but would absolutely help. Same with lucid dreaming.

Our goal is to separate enough of our experiences so that we can have more privacy and less distress and confusion in our day to day life. Others might benefit from our journey, so hopefully this blog can be more of use.

Edit 11/23/25: Another major goal in this is transitioning from a single host that takes care of the system to no host, where we all share responsibility. The reason we have to separate at all is because I've been both host and haven't switched for so long that many of our internal processes and habits are set up to keep me in front and not switch. This process we're going through is attempting to change that. I've somehow neglected to put that piece of info here.

The masterdoc on separation I've created will be pinned here as well:

Unless stated otherwise, 9/10 it'll be myself (Zenith) posting on this blog. Nevertheless, here are our names!

Zenith

Scout

Swift

Phoenix

Max

Rune

Tenebris

Jarvis

Hal

Scott

- bid them good morning when you wake up and bid them goodnight at bedtime.

- hold the door open just a bit longer than you normally would when you pass through, to give them time to come through too.

- now and then throughout the day, think or say to yourself "Hey, where's my tulpa?", and see if you can perceive their presence and where they are in relation to you.

- hold your hand out by your side as you walk, and see if you can percieve them holding your hand.

- imagine them as you go about some mundane everyday task, and picture them helping out or doing the same thing.

us, a collective who does imposition*: really? :O

*not sure if that's the word, but it's when you uh, basically like, project your image externally so you get the impression that a headmate in co-con/co-front is, for example standing beside the body. that's probably horribly explained lol

Yup! That's imposition!

It's really fun to play around with too!

I think tactile has been my favorite. (And seems the easiest.) When I'm not fronting, it's fun to run an (imposed) finger across the body to see how my host reacts!