Is this a blog?

this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were “my battery is low and it is getting cold”. I know she’s a machine but I’m devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby

“my battery is low and it’s getting dark” is so hauntingly human, so crushingly lonely. I can’t articulate the deep, profound ache that sentence evokes. It’s acceptance and defeat and terror and sadness all at once, all from one tiny machine we asked to explore the stars for us.

my friend called me on the phone from the library to tell me he’d been chased by a mountain lion and he thought he might have vomited up blood and I was in the middle of scrubbing my car and having a heat stroke god my life keeps getting fucking weirder

mind you this is my friend who is the total chronic disaster who got into that knife fight in the middle school parking lot so I’m used to giving him shitty advice but this summer since I don’t talk on the phone he texts me every other day with some new terrible strange twist that has happened in his life like “my girlfriend almost got kidnapped” “there are three centipedes in my bed!” “I almost got mugged again” like normally I would just go help him but I’m 4 hours away now and it’s like he forgets GXHRVGSHFV

your friend is a protagonist

this I’m aware of I’m his sidekick and the epitome of the nerd best friend archetype but still it is my civic duty to complain

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

fuck zeus

do NOT. 

yesterday i learned about a mythical creature called a squonk that lives in the hemlock forests of pennsylvania and is so ashamed of how it looks that it spends 80% of its time crying, only comes out at night, and if you corner it it will literally physically dissolve into a puddle of its own tears until you go away and if that’s not the most relatable thing i’ve ever heard idk what is

#that’s not a cryptid that’s just me chillin

who told you that you could call me out like that