all turns to silver glass

1. Dracula Parrot. This thing pisses me off like, a bunch

2. King Vulture. the felted craft project equivalent of a haunted ventriloquist dummy

i will never not resent this bird 

 3. Jacana Bird. This is the most unnecessary cursed nonsense. i deserve an apology for having to look at this. I can feel its fingers stroking my ears

No it does not have SIX FREAKING LIMBS. it’s carrying its stupid creepy spawn under its wings. A+ parents but still, piss off. even the normal 2 legged version isn’t much better

put those AWAY.

4. The Shoebill, which i’m sure we’re all sick of hearing about. this thing is the epitome of a crappy photorealistic cgi disney villainy. i despise this bird.

also this is what they look like standing up. i just feel like i shouldn’t have to deal with that, i really do.

5. Inca Tern. truly, hipsters ruin everything

6. Tragopan. it looks like a star wars species, which i dislike on principle 

7. The Secretary Bird. it wears yoga pants.

also i’m uncomfortable with the length of its eyelashes

8. finally, i really dislike this one specific parakeet

TWO FOR HORRID JOY

THREE FOR DAWNING REGRET

“You will pay for this, Karen.”

Phantom of the Opera was published in 1910

Some MORE incredibly rude ravens

In a nutshell, the way the “good guy” nation works is that they have a monarch (i.e., a king or queen), but rather than being hereditary, the monarch’s heir and successor is chosen by a magic deer. The magic deer can also withdraw its favour from an unrighteous monarch, typically leading to them being deposed. At first glance, it looks like a pretty standard example of the type: the good guys’ monarchy is okay because the gods only choose righteous rulers, right?

Except that’s not how it works at all. The magic deer’s big secret is that hundreds of years ago, a long-dead wizard cast a spell to summon an avatar of the collective will of the nation’s people, which resulted in the magic deer. Since it’s fuelled by the nation’s collective will, the spell just plain never expired, and the magic deer has been around ever since. Thanks both to the secrecy with which the original spell was carried out and to the passage of time, the magic deer’s true nature is unknown to all but a very select few, with most believing it to be a representative of the gods.

Ψιχάρπαξ- crumbsnatcher

Τρωξάρτης- breadnibbler

Πτερνοτρώκτος- hamnibbler

Λειχοπίναξ- platelicker

᾿Εμβασίχυτρος- bowl-visitor

Τυρογλύφος- cheesecarver

Τρωγλοδύτης- hider-in-the-hole

Τυροφάγος- cheese-eater

the battle of the frogs and the mice! it’s an ancient greek parody of the iliad (some ancient sources even claim that homer himself wrote it, which is impossible but also incredibly charming to imagine)

the plot is that crumbsnatcher, the prince of the mice, stops for a drink of water and meets the king of the frogs, who offers him a tour of his kingdom. but when crumbsnatcher is riding the king’s back through the pond, a snake appears! the frog king goes under the water to avoid it, drowning crumbsnatcher in the process, so the mice declare war on the frogs

it features all the things you’d expect in an epic (epic language, scenes of putting on armor, and even an aristeia for the mice), and it has the most delightful conclusion when zeus prevents the mice from killing all the frogs by throwing a thunderbolt at them and, when that doesn’t work, sending crabs to scare them