my toothpaste is coming out -pksh

i'm also looking forward to your girlfriend's bottom surgery

^ surgeon whose rare and sickly pet lizard only eats human testicles

Fun fact: if your regular skincare routine costs more than a new pillow, you should probably replace your pillow.

The best part of tumblr is that you could make a poll like "how did you find out that the pope just got assassinated?" with different news sources listed and "from reading this poll wtf" as the last option, and watch how 100% of the answers are the last one, because there's no better use for this site than lying recreationally.

an accurate depiction of tumblr and halloween

when i tell you i cried, i really did. four tears rolled down my face, and even though it isn't much they're still tears. you dont understand how happy i am to be an atiny who is also pansexual and hated by most of the people around me.