You've got a tell tale heart

I hate the drowning scene at the ORTBO I feel so sick thinking of Hellyna going through it. Helly was so confused (first time outside, Irving is drowning her, she had just discovered she's an Eagan) but also Helena's last moments as Helly (the closest thing she's had to freedom) are getting waterboarded by the one person she thought could fill the void of paternal love she craves, because he had already done it with the other half of herself. Nobody comes to help her until she turns into Helly, Milchick hesitates even after she has given him a direct order in between getting drowned and she probably came back to being punished for this the same way Cobel used to punish Mark every time something went wrong in S1. And then she's told she has to go back to MDR.

Big fan of characters who “kill” their younger selves. Characters who resent the past version of themselves for letting them get hurt, who look at that kid and feel revolted by the foreignness of it. Characters who feel they have to cut the child out of them like a tumor because it’s hurting them too much and if I don’t kill you you’ll kill me. Nearly nothing remaining of that past self but for the little connections and mannerisms they can’t kick, and when it shines through, it’s a terrible, tragic thing, because the child is still in there. It’s in there and it’s grotesque in its suffocation. But it’s there.

Anyone ever heard that thing where men who want submissive women don’t marry submissive women, they marry strong women so they can break them? That’s Jame with Hellyna. He wants Helena to be strong but he broke her. So now he’s moving onto Helly. He’s gonna try to break her next.

You must be cut to heal. Jame Eagan likes to leave scars