They Call Me Giggles

Break up Visa and Mastercard. Break up any bank worth more than a billion dollars. Tax excess profits at 125%. Make companies pay exorbitant fees to conduct stock buybacks. Cap interest rates on mortgages at 1%. Raise the minimum wage to $50 an hour. Make healthcare universal and ban private hospitals. Make legislators sell everything they own and live in barracks like monks. Make elected officials swear oaths of poverty. Tax churches. Prosecute Exxon. Take Fox News off the air. Build a world in which it’s impossible to be both rich and powerful.

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

They're having a 2 for 1 Who gives a Fuck special at the Shove It up your Ass store

The pilot -> astronaut pipeline makes complete sense but is also funny to me. There's a secret second sky and if you get good enough at doing sky you can do space.

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport