wench

me at mark zuckerbergs senate hearing: why did you betray andrew garfield. he was your only friend he fucking supported you

master has called dobby a slur

Don’t download the costar app just simply have thoughts and make decisions

(damon albarn voice) hee hee hoo hoo im gonna send my cartoon goblin man to trash island heheheh *makes one of the best albums ever written*

This is my favorite SNL sketch, and it is always so hard to find because it was cut out of the reruns for whatever reason. But it’s so funny. I will never not think this sketch is funny. 

we joke about tumblr’s pjge (post john green era) but it is legitimately wild that a) a social media site allowed others to edit your posts for five years, and b) that we all agreed to use the honor system about it until mr. green arrived

i like gay people don’t beat them up

funniest part about the phrase “godless orgies” is the implication that there are, like, good christian orgies

YouTube tutorial for how to have an orgy in a god honoring way

I have the ability to speak to shrimps (Shrimpathy). unfortunately this does not allow them to respond or understand what im saying