let go

to all my past thoughts receive this little eulogy regrets are banned and void I will erase you truly while you embrace my soul

incandescent irises reflect the night your voice slowly absorbs all light no limbs to cling to your edges all smooth I bend and bounce undoubtedly adjust my gravity now wholly tailored to thy orbit as I surrender full of sagely splendor consumed to ashes I turn to naught yet feel alive beyond all reason iridescent I shine like a comet following the sun

I don’t want to think but thoughts pervade my everything whatever there is left that is you don’t own me but I have given myself to you willingly, mindlessly basking in your light until I have dispersed in entirety, carelessly betting all my breath on love an encompassing happy life with you and me worshiping the us that neither wants to not be countless years in heaven don’t erase the glimpse of hell when will the madness stop you ask wordlessly yes, an eternity has passed and you don’t feel like me I have forgotten how it was or how it should have been no, I can not turn back time but I can still turn my back so don’t. just don’t…

I have never doubted the intricate depth of my turmoil the sins anonymous are not and still the thrill is there scorching me hot undressed of will and yet not lost wave after wave of greedy needles and pins trapping me between harsh rocks beyond thick layers of fused and heady limbs and words my bones amorphous my memories at fault I am done, a naked leaf shaking wet completely gone deviously set free oblivious of shame mindless and so fearless of everything

that flicker in your eyes soft and warm and everlasting like a sunset glowing in the wind all the soundless prayers floating invisible yet real, uncovering the layers underneath an overflowing flood of feelings laced and boundless, infinitely blue, so very deep

whisper me words soft and subtle in my ear, over my skin, rewrite my emotions all letters are good tenderly mark me in ways I don’t know thrill me, please with your fears open me up with your thoughts I want to hear all your untold stories unholy and sacred, deeply shared with your trust as my perfect pillow I’ll listen to your anythings, to all the everythings, just talk

Light footprints in between smiles Heartache after holding hands Nothing ever lasts in sand Washed away, blown into stars.

I can not not hear you ghosting me incessantly spreading embers on my flesh sharp cutting me with icicles crashing all my bones to dust like I were worth your wreath

I can not not be a shadow iridescent thoughts fighting me endlessly hallow and breathless I wish I could chant inwardly let if flow from head to toe grief should only be a moment not a constant value

yet here I am outstretched in pain I can not help but want a thousand demons to devour me and all there is the guilt supreme I can not not have you I can not not feel you I can not not be your truth I can not not love you

cityscape of Onomichi, Jaapn. Photography by あゆ

Harumi Wharf, Japan. Photo by amatou | あまと〜

in the grand scheme of things your quiet absence disturbs the sound of silence