captain’s log stardate a billion i want to kiss spock on the mouth

"Girl, how are you?" is the funniest line I've ever heard and I know I'm gonna be quoting it at least once a day forever. Anyway girls (gn) how ARE we?

some of you never experienced the “this isn’t available in your country” situation and it shows

i feel if you've known someone long enough to make them your maid of honor, you should know whether to expect this

Ever heard a bass riff so good you can feel it in your actually I don't think I can say that in public

"oh, if you make out with friends, you could ruin the friendship" so who am i supposed to kiss? my enemies? get a grip

ok now that i’m significantly more normal and well adjusted anon is back on

i will never get over the way that jurgen leitner's death plays out like an among us kill

oh my fucking god

i am so weak and tired all the time. blinks beautifully at you

judas was probably like "jesus has pulled off so many wacky things, he'll get out of this one lickity split, and i get three shiny coins out of it, too"

what makes the avatars in the magnus archives so great is that despite having ostensibly discarded or transcended their humanity through their patronage to the dread powers, they're still just human enough to be hilariously petty and have more infighting amongst themselves than a toxic queer household group chat. the entities kept giving them these insane evil powers in exchange for their devotion and instead of using them to bring about the apocalypse like they intended every single one of them was like hmm i will use these abilities to torment my stupid ass coworkers i think.

it's like if you gave a bunch of people nuclear launch codes and they all just used them to order a precision strike on the house of the guy who cut in front of them in the rush hour traffic last week