When you tell someone about being mistreated because of your disability, there is a common response that goes something along the lines of, "But did you explain to them properly why you can't do x thing?" "Did you make sure they understood why you need x accomodation?" "Maybe they just didn't understand?"
For example: "Did you properly explain that the reason you don't do hugs is because of your autism?" or "Maybe they don't really understand how bad fibro fatigue is and that's why they got upset at you for concelling plans."
I hate these kind of responses. They give me the same vibe as being asked, "Yeah, but what were you wearing when you got catcalled?" They put the responsability for the problem onto the person who was discriminated against, instead of the one doing the discriminating. Disabled people should not be expected to go through grueling explanations or justify their needs before those needs are respected.
