dinner's on me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@heartacher
dinner's on me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing
kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like
kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper
me: a what?
kid: a cristopoper
me: i don’t think i know what that is!
kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers
me: oh, that—
kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now
me: oh my god
like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8
working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”
other thrilling destructions of my vocabulary:
the kid who replaced his hard G sounds with soft ones, leaving me incapable of thinking of glasses as anything other than jlasses
kid who would holler "DID" any time she finished her work no matter how many times we told her to just raise her hand
kid who began her scary stories with "once a time" and her friend who began his with "paw time"
middle schooler i had during student teaching who pronounced magritte as "mah-gritty"
the kid who said "i got boogies comin out my nose" while sobbing and the kid who said "theres his puddle of cry" while describing a drawing, both of whom i think of when im crying
kid who said that if he was 80 he would get big and turn grandpa
kid who, for no reason in particular, would just say "like a little feet" as a standalone phrase in relation to nothing
edit how could i forget. the kid who got sneezed on and angrily said "whyd you blessyou on me"
My niece who asks people with dogs "are him big or him little?"
And every person without fail answers "uh.. him big"
Years later my vocabulary is still influenced by:
kid who called snakes "nakes"
kid who called calculators "cockulators"
my little cousin who referred to anything he didn't have an immediate answer to as "vewy mystewious"
"I don't yike heem"
guy who's about to invent the webp file: what if there was a file format that made you suicidal
jung just appeared before me and told me im actually a new archetype called the Special Princess and that everyone has to be nice to me or he will get his cruel mage jaques lacan to trap you in a mirror

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you people have reaction images for everything
The thing about adhd is like if you hit any sort of roadblock while doing a task, no matter how small an obstacle, it’s gonna throw you completely off track.
like for example:
I’m hungry and I want to eat. But when I get to the kitchen I realize I have to cook something. It’s not that hard but it’s something in the middle of where I am now and me eating. So I end up not eating.
I’m cleaning my room. There are dirty clothes all over the floor. But my laundry basket is full and so I can’t put my dirty clothes where they are supposed to go. Now my momentum for cleaning is shut down and I go back to something I know how to do, like change playlists.
and that’s on executive dysfunction
big fan of urban fantasy and similar genres because theres nothing funnier to me than a setting where youve got people fighting with enchanted blades and bows and hopping around doing magic tricks but you can also just hit a demon with your car if you feel like it
There's this very specific urban fantasy trope which is "processing the newfound horrors and wonders of the universe in a 24/7 diner" that gets me every time
sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical
batman: throw your homosexual phytoaphrodisiac pollen wherever you like, pamela. it won't get past my rebreather. i've made sure of it. i learned my lesson the last time.
fujo poison ivy: how was it...
i love when fantasy novels are about 35 year olds…why is everyone in books 20 or 16 all the time
(defensively) 35 is one of the most normal ages to be

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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love her. get his ass kiyohime
here's an image of her transforming back from dragon into a woman. queen
Often you will see authors say ‘I do not condone the contents of this fictional story’ at the start. well that is just nonsense, I think torturing beautiful men against their will and cannibalism is pretty based and fully condone it
good morning to sasuke and all of his rightful rage toward a government that failed both him and his compatriots
u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something
“Cowboys could be an invasive species” is an extremely hot take I wasn’t prepared for
‘Caper in the Castro’ was thought to be long lost.
Caper in the Castro is a legendary video game, not because legions of die-hard fans continue to play it, but because it was thought to be lost forever. Now, what is largely considered to be the first LGBTQ-focused video game (it was released in 1989) is on the Internet Archive for anybody to play.
The game is a noir point-and-click that puts the player in the (gum)shoes of a private detective named Tracker McDyke who is, in case you couldn’t guess by the name, a lesbian. McDyke must unravel the mystery behind the disappearance of Tessy LaFemme, a transgender woman, in San Francisco’s Castro district, an historically gay neighbourhood.
OOOOOHhh!
The game was released as charityware – freely, with a strong request to give a donation an AIDS Charity of their choice. I’d like to push towards still following that and donating, if you’re able.
(And you might also want to donate to the Internet Archive, who is hosting it now, while you’re at it – they’re in the middle of a donation drive, and could use your support.)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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BEST QUEER MEDIA TOURNAMENT FINAL ROUND!!!!!
[ propaganda masterpost]
Which is the best queer media of all time?
South Park
Hazbin Hotel
*showing visible symptoms* oh my god i need help desperately
*symptoms go away for one day* what if im just faking it