mildly condescending shoujo

today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

guy who's about to invent the webp file: what if there was a file format that made you suicidal

jung just appeared before me and told me im actually a new archetype called the Special Princess and that everyone has to be nice to me or he will get his cruel mage jaques lacan to trap you in a mirror

you people have reaction images for everything

The thing about adhd is like if you hit any sort of roadblock while doing a task, no matter how small an obstacle, it’s gonna throw you completely off track.

big fan of urban fantasy and similar genres because theres nothing funnier to me than a setting where youve got people fighting with enchanted blades and bows and hopping around doing magic tricks but you can also just hit a demon with your car if you feel like it

There's this very specific urban fantasy trope which is "processing the newfound horrors and wonders of the universe in a 24/7 diner" that gets me every time

sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical

i love when fantasy novels are about 35 year olds…why is everyone in books 20 or 16 all the time

(defensively) 35 is one of the most normal ages to be

Often you will see authors say ‘I do not condone the contents of this fictional story’ at the start. well that is just nonsense, I think torturing beautiful men against their will and cannibalism is pretty based and fully condone it

good morning to sasuke and all of his rightful rage toward a government that failed both him and his compatriots

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

“Cowboys could be an invasive species” is an extremely hot take I wasn’t prepared for