🥧 sugar, butter, flour.

JOEL FROWNED slightly. “boring, sure but old is a little mean, don’t you think? I mean i’m only twenty-eight,” He mused softly, blowing air through his nose. He couldn’t take it to heart, though. Callie was always like that, and she meant no harm. “go ahead, sing coldplay!” He urged, his face turning white the moment he heard her suggestion. “oh n-no I don’t - I don’t do well with crowds...” Joel’s crippling anxiety was practically common knowledge, surely she knew that? “anyways, you’re the one who wanted to go up in the first place. I just wanted a beer.”

“I ONLY go two places!” He said defensively. “Work and home, what else is there in my life, Callie?” Joel stuck his tongue out at her, unaffected by her complaints. He urged her towards the stage. “sure you can, that’s what its there for, don’t worry, the crowd is going to have the same reaction no matter what,” Joel groaned, and rested his own head on the palm of his hand. “who said secretly? I’m trying to put on a show, aren’t I?”

JOEL COULD only let out a shaking breath. He knew Jake was cool, knew it so well that he was almost embarrassed for asking. He sat there, dumbfounded, as his companion ran to lock the door. Something he wouldn’t have even thought of. Joel figured he could at least stagger up from his spot on the floor and preserve some dignity. “you’re right,” he said with a small nod. “okay, I guess...” Christ where did he start with this whole mess? “you know Sam, right? my husband?” There was a tone of resentment there. Everyone knew Sam, though not many people liked him. Joel among them these days. “well uh...he’s transgender. like, he used to be my wife...before we moved here-” Joel knew Jake was queer, he really was explaining himself for nothing. dancing around the real issue as long as he could. “I didn’t want to talk about it since it’s not really my place to...out him but --” Joel swallowed hard, the reality of his life was a burden that threatened to crush his throat. He was still fighting back the sobs. “god, i’m so stupid. I was drunk and -- he’s not supposed to be able to get pregnant anyways -- I didn’t think that one time it would --”

JOEL LISTENED to her intently. All the while thinking he’d never get to see another part of the world. For him it was Maine or bust, and not because of any affection for the state. “Right, right, I’d say I’d keep that in mind but well, I don’t see myself leaving anytime soon. It’s ah- expensive. Not that you wouldn’t know, I mean, you moved.” Joel swallowed hard. “oh yeah? I guess kids are like that. Not that I’ve ever been around them much,”

JOEL KNEW that Jake meant well, but his words were hitting home in ways he did not intend. The young man was already teetering on the edge of a breakdown, closer to the fall than he was to safety. “no, it’s cool, really just--” His voice came out more hoarse than intended. Joel had to hold back a sob, managing only a shaky intake of breath as he did so. “fuck,” He hissed, sitting back on his heels. He didn’t want to weigh his coworker down with his issues. These were his burdens and his to bear. Joel was on the verge of tears, now, only slightly inspired by the syrupy mess bellow him. He had to swallow hard before proceeding. “hey, are you good? I mean, if I told you something and begged you not to tell a soul, could you keep it quiet?”

JOEL TILTED his head, offering an awkward smile. “yeah, chocolate is naturally quite bitter, but a lot of that flavor is lost in translation depending on the country. Some places like to amplify it but others just loose it completely,” He explained, hoping he was making more sense than he was rambling. “it is sort of rude. I’d probably just eat it even if I hated it -- not that i’m saying you’d make something bad, I just mean it’d be rude to complain about it, is all,”

“RIGHT, THAT’S what I’m saying,” Joel insisted. “but my accent isn’t an accent to me, either.” He said as he began to unwrap his donut from its protective bag, nodding all the way. “Alabama, yeah? I’ve never been. Well I’ve never been out of Maine, actually. Only ever lived two places. Sorry, that doesn’t matter. are you liking it here?”

JOEL LIKED to think of himself as hard to read. Mostly because his ever present sense of anxiety meant he was always a little upset. It seemed he couldn’t hide it from Jake, though. Maybe they’d worked together for too long. Maybe he just wasn’t as good at hiding his feelings as he thought. Either way, the question hit him like a tidal wave. It was just a simple, you good, man? but it almost sent Joel reeling. “yeah -- I’m fine,” He just barely managed to choke out. Joel must have looked a sight, on his knees haphazardly wiping up strawberry syrup as though his life depended on it. Joel hadn’t been expecting Jake to get on his level. He was just trying to help, though Joel felt forced to avoid his eyes. “I spilled it, it’s my mess, I’ll clean it up,” He insisted, though the statement lacked firmness. Not a big deal his ass. A little voice in the back of his head told him that cleaning up the tea wouldn’t solve all his problems, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

( CLOSED STARTER FOR @yrsweetvalentine ).

JOEL STOOD agape for a moment, staring at her hand. His awkwardness had gotten the better of him. He shook his head and reached for her hand, shaking it gently. “uh -- yeah, real nice too meet you too, skylar. it’s okay if I sit?” He wanted to double check, but he was already on his way down, placing his coffee and his pastry on the table. “you’ve got an accent. I mean of course you know that. and I guess it isn’t an accent to you, but -- I’m trying to say -- where are you from?”