Dead but Delicious

im only camarilla bc i have a sugar mommy

:)

oh you’re yanking my chain? yank harder

@hazelenergy

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

ok yeah she beat me over the head with a shovel and ruined my life but all things considered she's being really tolerant of me in her own way which is kinda nice actually

Idk if its not that deep btw. I have a shovel and too much time on my hands, so its as deep as I want it to be.

I know what it means when. a woman stabs another woman.

no one else twists the knife as good as u come over

in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”

unfortunately, classifying all points as definitively false also presents your audience with data. you gotta present a mix of unverifiable information in a broad range of veracity. I don't have blood. I DO have teeth. How many teeth? 53. I subsist primarily on synthesized potassium compounds and sleep in my closet three nights a year

Ok I'll bite. you are bleeding now

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

they're saying bloodletting is the new foreplay