the average hawkeye

“dude, i barely remember my own name – i wouldn’t get mad at you for that.” 

“Your planet was once alive, believe it or not. You’ve just ruined it.”

“Clint.” Even though she had just been speaking at full volume, Natasha found that her vocal cords constricted and her voice had dropped to a whisper. Dropped. She had fallen. His glove had been rough against her hand. It had been hard to breathe but she was also counting every breath because one was going to be the last.  Never, for a second, had Natasha blamed Clint. It had come down to one or another and she had weighed her life against his. Just because he had drifted didn’t mean he couldn’t find the path again.  He’d have time. She’d give him time.

“One of us had to.” Which, he knew. The edge of her lip cut the crooked bottom tooth as she thought about what she could say. At the end of the day, Natasha had almost gotten off easy. She wasn’t the one who had to face everyone and break the news. The why wasn’t it you? were never directed at her. Nat had died, Clint had been forced to live. Without saying anything more she moved over to him, one hand gripping his as her forehead found his own. They had stood like this a year before on the cliffs of Vormir and everyone knew how that had turned out. “–I’m sorry.”

The moment Natasha’a forehead met with his, Clint tried his best not to cry. He clamped his eyes shut and took hold of her hand. “Please don’t say that.” She had nothing to say sorry for. Even though he was angry, he knew that it was an irrational emotion she had no control over.

“I was specifically told you like stupid things? Why else would you use such an inefficient and impersonal weapon?”