D R A X

“Ha.” Shuri knows she could chastise him for speaking to a royal in such a manner, but she doesn’t. She used to have a sense of humor. Before T’Challa, before Ramonda. “You are a bold, bold man. It is almost commendable.” 

“Yes. It is most commendable. I’m glad you noticed smelly little cat girl.”

“Wow. Coming straight out the gate, aren’t we?” That was pretty ripe coming from a hulking shirtless guy who looks as if he never showers. Jen, in her She-Hulk form, stands taller than he does. She looks down at him. “You know the saying if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? Yeah, let’s keep that in mind.”

“It was a compliment?” Drax replied confused. “You are wise for surrounding yourself in such a revolting musk. It’s a great way to keep predators away. Like those black and white things... The Skoonch! That’s what they are!”

“For the rocket?”

“For all...”

The loud laughter was almost enough to tempt Val to pull out her pistol, just to get him to shut up, but she refrained. Something told her he wouldn’t be frightened by that anyways. Still, she pressed his lips into a tight, annoyed smile before nodding. “Right. Well I’d still like to talk to the raccoon over you. Even better, Peter Quill.”

“That would be impossible. They are both far too short and puny to be over me. Unless I lift them up. Are you asking me to lift them up?”

“That sounds gnarly.” Billy is smiling, amused. “See, when I chose to visit other planets, I got diplomacy packets and officiations. Though I don’t think carving my way through a digestive system would’ve been the better alternative.” He shrugs. “Not the way magic works, Drax. I do not have a ‘rotten eggs’ radar – surprising, I know.” 

“It was gnarly. I can still smell it under my fingernails.” He replied putting a finger in Billy’s face, expecting him to sniff. “Seems like wasted potential. You would never eat a rotten egg again.”

“You’re smelling yourself.”

“I could never mistake my rich musk for this stink.”

Antonia knows what burning flesh smells like. After that, she doesn’t think she’ll ever smell anything worse. Whatever he’s going on about is not as bad as her own singed skin. The assassin blinks once, face blank under her helmet. “You are not wise.”

“No. I’m Drax the Destroyer. Wise is a dumb name.”

“And here I thought the new cologne Billy picked me up was suitable for a King.”

“King of fecal matter maybe.” He replied seriously trying to fight off a smirk.

“HA.” The laugh that comes out of her is loud and Mantis slaps a hand over her mouth. Drax never fails to make her laugh. He’s taught her so much about herself. Without him, she’d never know that she was ugly. “Foul. I smell foul but I am wise.” That’s a good thing. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Yes, you are wise.” Drax gagged as he inhaled. “But oh so foul. It is okay, I still love you. Even if you repulse me.” He replied placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a very serious and heartfelt look.

“You are an utter imbecile.” 

“I DO NOT HAVE UDDERS!” 

Billy drops his face in his palms, groans, tries not to shake with laughter. “I don’t even want to know why you’ve done that.” He lifts his head, wearing a small smile. “What do you smell? Acidic? Or like rotten eggs?” Now he’s just curious. 

“I cut my way through the digestive system of a Korglokian Devourer. There’s only on way in and one way out...” He replied with a cold stare. “I smell aromas. I’ve smelt rotten eggs, but I’m not actively sniffing them. All that magic and you can’t tell I’m not sniffing rotten eggs?! Useless!” He ‘joked’ laughing loudly.

“Actually, it’s called Tom Ford.” And Valentina didn’t elaborate beyond that. It wasn’t worth trying to explain the nuance of perfume to this doofus. “Where is the racoon? He’s your leader, from what I’ve heard.”

“A person cannot be a smell, idiot.” Drax said laughing boastfully at the idiot human. “He is not a raccoon, he prefers trash panda.” Drax added trying not to giggle. “But he is not the leader. I am.”

“I’m surprised no one’s put you in a rocket yet and sent you into the sun yet.” 

“Many have tried, all have failed resulting in an end most gruesome.”

“Do you prefer your teeth inside or outside of your mouth? Answer quickly.” 

“Outside. That way if I need to bite someone in glorious combat I needn’t open my mouth exposing my vital squishy bits.”

“Of course, Drax, you know how I live in fear of predators.” She inches away from him. “Ever heard of personal space?” 

“If you didn’t stink I wouldn’t have to be so close to you.”

Billy frowns and lifts his wrist to smell the sleeve of his shirt. “Drax,” he cants his head in question, “have you never smelled cologne before?”

“Of course I have smelt a colon before! Who hasn’t! But this stench is wore pungent than the ripest of colons!”