The Maage @havvmaage - Tumblr Blog

maybe it's just the essence of hugh grant but I can totally see phillip as having been divorced with a child or two by the time he met blanc. imagine reconnecting with your dad who had very little presence in your childhood and you find out he's remarried to the real life sherlock holmes. dad this guy has been referenced on snl. he knows royalty on a first name basis. what the fuck.

this also makes my "blanc is phil's last name" headcanon even funnier if the kids didn't change their names to their mothers maiden / step-dads name. getting "like the detective?" for like a decade without knowing that it is in fact the detective who's stolen your name

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outromoonyy

I still don't know my purpose on this planet but I do love reading fanfiction.

what-even-is-thiss

Actually witches grow from the bottom of the cave up while wizards grow from the top of the cave down

scribefindegil

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

geese-in-flight

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

ineffectualdemon

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

the-haiku-bot

And asexual

people would stop getting shit

for being themselves.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

havvmaage

This is the one. This is my favorite

As an ace person, I needed this. As someone who just started dating someone, I needed this. As an ace person dating an allo, I really fucking needed this.

And I think a lot of people and relationships would benefit from a similar discussion.

#ace #asexual #relationships

depsidase

unicorncryptid

"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"

"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."

lizardywizard

And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.

Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?

the-haiku-bot

Would you want scammers

to know the state of your loved

one’s dementia?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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I had a thought (yippee!!) and I present to you:

Project Hail Mary - by Andy Weir

The Moon Will Sing - by The Crane Wives

"Tell me once again, I could have been anyone, anyone else, before you made the choice for me.

#must be a full moon #bc yknow #i had a thought #hold on mustave been a blood moon #now go save the stars so the moon can sing #the crane wives #the moon will sing #project hail mary #ryland grace

stickyfrogs

Tonight’s Big Blue BLAAAAARRRGGHH!! is by Round Frog!

systemdeez

IT'S A BAD MOVIE!

thegayumbrellas

I'm sorry wHAT

mawce-crow

OP GIVE US MORE REASONING BEFORE US TRIXIES CRASH OUT ON YOU

thegayumbrellas

THEY WENT OFFLINE LIKE AS SOON AS I ASKED WHY

mawce-crow

HATERS GONNA HATE, FANS OF HUNTRIX GONNA SLAY

thegayumbrellas

YESSSS

systemdeez

Shouldn't you be doing your homework or something?

thegayumbrellas

excuse me?

systemdeez

Everyone who disagrees with me is a child.

thegayumbrellas

wow that's immature lol

systemdeez

You're literally a child.

thegayumbrellas

??? says who?

systemdeez

You disagreed with me that makes you a kid.

thegayumbrellas

you better be joking, that is the most immature thing I've ever heard

systemdeez

Nothing personal kid 😎

thegayumbrellas

starting to think that you're, like, nine

systemdeez

Still older than you I bet.

thegayumbrellas

sure, buddy. whatever helps.

systemdeez

Get blocked kiddo.

too-close-too-late

bro this blog has to be ragebait theres no way anyone would say all that genuinely

systemdeez

You're 17.

too-close-too-late

That is true! Why is it relevant

systemdeez

Because that makes you a kid.

too-close-too-late

just curious. when i turn 18 this summer will you suddenly take my opinions seriously or something

systemdeez

No, because you're a k pop demon hunters fan.

too-close-too-late

so if you don't take the fans seriously or care about their opinions, why do you engage with them at all?

systemdeez

You wouldn't get it. You're 17.

systemdeez-sucks

Everyone in this thread is going to go to hell before they die.

the-haiku-bot

Everyone in this

thread is going to go to

hell before they die.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

havvmaage

Here's to Hell🍻

boccher

doctor will fix me they'll do a scan and find a terrible darkness seated in my stomach and be like "oh my god we're so sorry we were supposed to remove this at birth like everyone else, i don't know how this was missed, we're so sorry you've been living like this your whole life" and it'll fix my brain too and all clouds will part

margarettherelentless

God the Men you made to be Comic Relief are fucking each other

the-haiku-bot

God the Men you made

to be Comic Relief are

fucking each other

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

mollypondfromouterspacepart2

Good

havvmaage

#buddie

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charlesoberonn

Everyone talks about Zuko's redemption arc but nobody talks about Iroh's redemption arc. Probably because it's a lot subtler and we only see it from the outside, and only the tail-end of it.

Before his son died, Iroh was a pretty bad dude. He had redeeming qualities, like sparing the last dragons and loving his family. But he was still a general leading a campaign of conquest.

His redemption started after his son died. He clearly had a lot of self reflection as well as a spiritual awakening in the following years.

But he was still conflicted, trying to remain loyal to his nation and family while also practicing the principles he learned from his travels. But those things were incompatible.

Even after he had to actively fight against the Fire Nation when Zhao threatened the moon spirit, he still thought he could return to living in the Fire Nation.

It's only after Azula tried to imprison him and Zuko and forced them on the run that he gave up on the idea.

I think it's sometime around their time staying in Ba Sing Se that he finally decided to oppose the Fire Nation. At the price of his own freedom, eventually.

I think seeing Zuko's struggles with redemption reminded him of his own earlier struggles, and it's what finally pushed him over the edge. He didn't just help Zuko redeem himself, Zuko helped him redeem himself too.

#THIS!!!#been thinking about this for a while #I need the story of #uncle iroh

dilfosaur

hey guys- i’m very sad to share the news that i am no longer a part of drawfee going forward. you’ll keep seeing me around as i move on to new things! but please understand the privacy and difficulty around the matter.

thank you everyone for many fun years, and for your continued support going forward 🫶

viehfutter

I really appreciate the work that Karina has done with Drawfee over the years. I feel like she has continued to expand and demonstrate her abilities as a multifaceted entertainer. The common element of it all has been her distinctive voice, perspective, and affect. I hope whatever she chooses to do next proves to be enriching and fulfilling. If she goes to work in an Antarctic research station and we never hear from her again, I’ll be grateful for everything she has already shared. If she chooses to continue working in entertainment, I’m excited to see what new horizons she chooses to explore.

moveslikekeithrichards

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

viralfrog

sexlapis

how young do you people think gen z are

havvmaage

Thinking the same thing ;-;

isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

isawken

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

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foxes-in-love

scarecrowbutch

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