This is my contribution….

Every time the polar bear decides to go charging at something the hamster flips up off the ground and has to hold onto the leash for dear life. But every time the hamster goes somewhere the polar bear just sort of begrudgingly follows along as if it has to.

Onlookers uncertain why the polar bear is wearing the leash + collar in the first place OR why the hamster doesn't just let go.

Liu Qingge: Hey!

*most of the students flee, one particularly bold one steps into view though*

Liu Qingge: Kssst! *he pulls out a spray bottle*

*the last student scurries off*

SQQ, narrating his letter out loud: Dear Liu Qingge, please accept Ming Fan into Bai Zhan Peak-

Ming Fan: Shizun no!!

SQQ: As he has decided he knows better than this master he must continue his cultivation elsewhere.

Ming Fan: I'm sorry Shizun!

SQQ: I trust you will be able to handle any further uncouth-

Ming Fan: *gasps*

SQQ: and unfilial -

Ming Fan: *starts crying*

SQQ: behavior. He is good at organizing things perhaps you can put him in charge of the armory.

Ming Fan: *falls to his knees* This disciple was wrong Shizun! Please don't send me away!

SQQ: *folds and seals letter dramatically*

SQQ: *hands it to Ming Fan* take that to the kitchens and burn it- then I don't want to see you again today!

Ming Fan: *sniffling* Yes Shizun. Thank you Shizun! *leaves*

SQQ: Oh hello Shidi I didn't see you there.

He gives SQH a nice necklace, but SQH reads between the nonexistent line and thinks that LBH wants him to find out the mystery behind it. LBH cooks for him, only for SQH to think he's sampling the food before LBH could present it to his shizun. With no other strategy, LBH kisses SQH. He expects some sort of reaction, but SQH’S responded with, "Very nice kiss, maybe a little less teeth. I'm sure Shen-shixiong would like it." He whines about it to MBJ and SQQ, trying to find ways to make his feelings known.

LBH: "MBJ, how did you do it?"

MBJ: "Noodles"

LBH: "But I already tried food! Shizun, how did you do it?"

SQQ: "I yelled at him"

LBH: "I can't do that. He starts shaking and hiding whenever I slightly show any displeasure."

With the help of his shizun and MBJ, they managed to manipulate SQH into a wife plot with LBH. Even then, SQH thinks LBH slept with him out of necessity.

like for the other two he can rationalize it: Mobei-Jun is his literal dream man, he probably subconsciously made him mbj's exact type cause he never would've liked him otherwise or even just the fact that he thinks he earned that relationship with his years of service, and then sqq can easily be chalked up to Stockholm syndrome or codependency on the only other person who can ever understand what a meme is- they're stuck together so obv sqq is a bit sticky, he's only been here 10-ish years tops, he'll probably get over it or it'll become normal background noise they never have to talk or think about too much.

Love it how if Shen Qingqiu and OG Shang Qinghua were to date everyone would assume Shen Qingqiu was a deviant taking advantage of Shang Qinghua but really Shang Qinghua is freaky in ways Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even fathom before they met.