Say Something Nice

Clara scowled at Missy’s comment, but didn’t argue about it. There was really no point - Clara was well aware that everything Missy did was designed to get under her skin. There was no need to show her that it was working.

She kept her gaze on Missy as she moved, to ensure there would be no surprises. While Clara was currently unable to die, she still felt a strong distrust of Missy. She knew that she wasn’t safe in her presence. 

“Some metal that I’ve never heard of, I assumed.” Clara replied, cutting right to the chase.

Missy rolled her eyes in boredom, looking at Clara with disgusted exasperation. “How has the Doctor ever spent more than five minutes with you? You’re also so dull and boring. No fun at all. ‘Some metal’” She let out a long dramatic sigh of frustration. 

“Don’t you even want a little guessing game at all? There’s all sorts of things you could say. You’d be wrong about all of them, of course, but it would so much fun to keep telling you that you’re all wrong, wrong, wrong” Missy gave a big pout. “Come on, Clara. Just one guess? One teeny, weeny, itsy bitsy guess?”

the Doctor glances towards her friend, a flush upon her cheeks. “Right. Didn’ know that. Was it French Revolution style?” she asks, bouncing upon the balls of her feet. “How did yah get away from it all?” she’s eagerly moving towards her friend, inquisitive and happy despite what had just happened. 

“Not exactly. It was some very rude Tudors with a very sharp axe. They got all in a huff about me marrying the King. Only he wasn’t really the King so he was on the chopping block too. A Meddling Monk That Meddled Too Much” Missy declared, “But three weeks in one of their charming little cells was more than enough time for me to get to the executioner. You know this planet just doesn’t give enough credit to hypnotism. Mine can work wonders”

“It’s quite a shame that she did not finish the job. But you have to applaud her effort at least.” There was something unsettlingly familiar in the woman’s smile and the Rani wasn’t quite sure of what to make of it. “

The Rani’s worry about the state of her experiments almost entirely vanished as she listened to the other woman speak. She would have assumed it was him if she did not know better. But that was impossible so instead she focused on flipping through her notes, seeing if this woman had stolen anything. She doubted that the other woman would be able to understand the very important work she was doing here.  “You must be either very brave or very stupid to go through my private laboratory. I hope you did not find what you are looking for.”

“It is also considered rude to break into a Time Lady’s workspace so please do not talk to me about manners.” It was tempting to refute the woman’s offer, she had plenty of chemicals in her lab to force the woman into a short sleep as she escaped to her TARDIS. But she was curious as to who this Time Lady was and why she had decided that it was wise to sought her out. The only other Time Lord she was aware of was the Doctor and the Rani doubted this woman was him. The Rani took a seat opposite the woman and decided to get the answers she needed, “Call me paranoid but I quite like to know who I am having the misfourtune of talking with. Who exactly are you?”

Missy pouted. “That’s not very nice. I should shoot you and see how you feel about the whole thing then,” She jabbed the air int he general direction of the Rain with her umbrella to punctuate the point, and then swung it around like a baton. “Ooh that was rather fun, wasn’t it?” She swung it around the other way, enjoying herself completely. “Brollies are such underappreciated things” She swung it one more time so it landed neatly, and safely, hung over her arm, where no one but her was going to get anywhere near it. Just the way she liked it. 

“I’d like a laboratory, I think,” Missy mused aloud as she smeared a great big spoonful of apricot jam on a sliced cucumber-- making no explanation as to where she had found either of the items, or whether she had simply brought them with her-- “To make things go boom and bang and spplaaatt. I imagine people run away less easily when they’re locked up in a nice scientific environment with lots of files and tick boxes and nice clean rooms with nice big doors” She gnashed at the cucumber like a piranha. 

“Oh!” She gasped when she’d swallowed, “How impolite. I am so, so sorry” She smacked herself on the wrist, “So naughty and such bad, bad manners. Let me introduce myself, before we get all chummy” She wiped her hands of sticky jam, licking a bit off her fingertips, and then leaned back in the chair, swinging her legs up over the arm, “I’m Missy. Short for Mistress. Mistress comma The, really”

starter | @adventurestoo​

“If you do not start talking within five seconds, I promise that I will feed you to my flesh eating Phalgane flies.” The Rani threatened, pointing to the tank that sat in the corner of her laboratory.

The Rani didn’t expect to find an outrageously dressed woman sitting in her laboratory when she returned from a quick visit to her TARDIS. She also didn’t expect the woman to still be in a five mile radius after her threats. There was once a time where she was one of the most feared people in the universe, and now she was being ignored by a badly dressed Mary Poppins. 

But the strange woman was a Time Lady, that was what the Rani could gather about her at least. But the Rani would find glee in the fact that she wasn’t alone later. Right now she needed to get rid of her before she could interfere with her experiments. From her own personal experience, she had learnt that fellow Time Lords would not allow her to work in peace.

“I promise that the death will be a slow and painful one, and one that you certainly won’t regenerate from. So start talking before I lose my patience.”

“Flesh eating?” Missy repeated, blue eyes widening with thrilling interest at the mere thought, “How exciting. So much more interesting than any of the old, regular, boring threats people use. A gun...well, that’s just unimaginative, isn’t it? I don’t like guns. My wife shot me once. Fatally. Never liked them since. Guns or wives” She smiled widely, so wide there was almost a madness to it. A Cheshire Cat. 

“But death? Well, that’s for other people, dearie. I’ve defeated it too many times. I’m even more inventive than your flesh-eating...what was it? I wasn’t really listening” She admitted freely, “I was too distracted by all the lovely, juicy things I found you were doing here. All the files, all the work, all your experiments. Positively delightful!” She bit her bright pink lips to barely hold back her intrigue and excitement. 

“So, why don’t we stop all these threats and losing any patience and just talk like the civilised and very fabulous Time Ladies we are?” She suggested, smile still holding until it flipped suddenly, becoming, without warning, serious and disapproving, “Besides I don’t like being threatened. It’s rude” She rolled her R hard, and her look was harder, her blue gaze steely. Before, just as suddenly, she flipped back, bright and smiling, as she walked back over to where she’d been sat “I’ve made tea. Would you like a cup? And there’s some yummy apricot jam. Perfect on cucumbers”