Dayman

thinking about the liam payne snakes tweet and laughing out loud alone in my room

wish my brain was into kinky stuff like producing serotonin and dopamine

the thot thiccens…

I feel like this is the moment a young mutant just found out that his power is manifesting sliced bread

*british person voice* haha did you Americans know you’re using the word biscuit wrong? you guys really drink cold sweet tea? you Americans are so strange *eats something completely inedible*

I forgot I even made this post like a year or more ago but British people in the notes are big mad

the immense healing power of room-cleaning can never be overstated

i identify as a bottle of red wine smashed on the tile floor of a grocery store

day 95839: i still don’t know what bitcoin is 

That’s more than 260 years

don’t ever do maths on my post again

my friends: they were totally flirting with you just then me: they were mocking me at best and most likely casting a curse on me