Our country in a nutshell.

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

ALL HAIL OF QUEEN PRESIDENT MISS BEADNOSE

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

My friend in the UK told me that they only see their father like 2-3 times a year because they live so far away. When I asked how far do they live, they said that it’s a 45 minute drive……. my commute to work, five days a week is an hour.

coworker with 2 shifts a week: aye bro can you PLEASE work my shift I have a doctors appointment and a dentist appointment and class and my dad is dead

look I don’t want to tell anyone what to do but if you go down that path you will wake up a thousand years later and all your great-grandchildren will be dead