TUMBLR IS BAD BUT FUN IT'S LIKE LIFE

touch starved infant leaves hospital after contactless delivery

that baby went straight through the hoop. nothing but net

swish

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

So what? Are you too good to see Oprah's Device?

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

Can we all agree in advance that, when Woke 2 hits, we need to make government penis-milking factories a reality, rather than just Jordan Peterson's paranoid fantasy?

Woke 2, in fact, needs to *actually* do all of things conservatives claimed Woke 1 was doing.

We WILL make litterboxes available in classrooms for children who identify as cats. We WILL introduce tax incentives to film and games studios to depict straight white men as evil and recast legacy characters as Black women with nose rings. We WILL punish your child for assuming male pronouns when referring to Julius Caesar.

We WILL replace all corporate HR departments with cultural Marxist political officers enforcing critical race theory-informed diversity-equity-and-inclusion policies, and you WILL go to prison for misgendering trans people.

He looks a bit different than I imagined.

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

the utter ecstasy of “is that lavENDER?” is what sells it for me

a level of appreciation for charcuterie the likes of which has never been seen before