winner winner

in which murph has a very normal time at the hands of his players

Transcript:

Murph: Wel-come back to Bahumia everybody! [Jake, Emily, and Caldwell echo him with "Bahumia!". Caldwell sounds incredibly enthusiastic.] Murph: He's so excited! Caldwell Tanner, thanks for being here. Caldwell: Ye-ah! Murph: It's not your turn yet, dude! Caldwell: I'm so sorry sir! Murph: Okay? I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz-- Caldwell: Bahumia! Jake: [laughs] Hey! Dude! Murph: Caldwell! Caldwell: Sorry! Emily: [laughs] Bahumia! Bahumia! Jake: I'm trying to rhyme, man! Murph: Quit stepping on him with your enthusiasm! Caldwell: I'm just so ready to go! Emily: Bahumia! Jake: I worked really hard on this. I di-- [sighs] well forget it. Fuckin' forget it. Murph: No you gotta! Emily: Bahumia! [Overlapping crosstalk as Caldwell and Murph encourage Jake.] Caldwell: You've got this. Murph: You got this. Jake, go ahead, don't let these two enthusiasms get in your way, alright? Jake: Yeah. Alright, no, yeah. I got this. I got this. Yeah. Caldwell: Whoo! He's got this! Jake: Fighting alongside-- Caldwell: You've got this man! Do it! Murph: Stop! You have to stop! Jake: I know I got it! I'm doin' it! (Calder voice) Fighting alongside a frog and a bard with my brand new sword, Shard. [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Murph: Yeah! Pretty good. I do feel like we built it up though, at a certain point. And there was just-- there was no way you could fully deliver. Jake: Yeah. It would've been perfect if I got it out clean right up top as soon as you introed. Murph: Yeah, if we did a super low energy intro. [Jake: M-hm. Yeah.] Caldwell: I think it was great man, I think it was amazing, I can't wait to hear it again! Murph: Who is this person. And then of course we've got Emily Axford-- Emily: Bahumia! [Everyone laughs. The others continue laughing harder as Murph talks.] Murph: Ohh. Okay?? That's the name of the world. Her character's name is Calliope Petrichor. If for some reason episode 57 of campaign 3 is the first thing you've listened to. That's Emily Axford. (laughing) She plays Calliope Petrichor. She did say before we started, I think almost as a counter-bit to Emily's bit, before we started (laughing) Emily said "I'm not gonna do a rhyme I don't feel like it." And I said "wild energy to bring into the episode!" so Caldwell went the opposite and went overenthusiastic. They're just fucking with me! Everything we do is just an inside joke to make me upset. Caldwell: And now you're caught up! Murph: Yeah, and now we're caught up. Caldwell: Bahumia! Murph: And-- [laughs] and Bahumia. And-- Uh, and then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner-- Jake: (yelling) Bahumia! Emily: Yeah!!! Jake's in on it!! Caldwell: See, it feels good! It feels good. Murph: Okay. Caldwell Tanner, of course, plays Sol-- Caldwell: Ohhh, Sol Bufo [Murph: Okay.] I'm feeling fine, just found out I'm two of a kind, [Emily: ooh!] and now I'm gonna go and find out if Swag's still alive. I'm really trying to thrive here. Bahumia. [The others laugh. As they talk, Caldwell laughs too.] Murph: You lost me. But you had me for a moment. And that's more that can be said for the other guys. Jake: Wow. Emily: Bahumia. Murph: [laughs] Bahumia. Jake: Bahumia, guys. Murph: Sure. Hey guys, Bahumia. We did it. We did it everyone. Alright? Everyone settle. Settle? Okay?

[The others sigh as if relaxing, and chorus "yeah."] Murph: Ready? Alright. Let's do-- let's do-- Caldwell: Eldermourne. Murph: Not the right campaign. Not the correct campaign. Caldwell: Shit, sorry. Murph: Let's go ahead and do a little-- [laughs as Emily interrupts him] recap-- Emily: That's Calliope's middle name. [Everyone laughing.] Murph: (through laughter) Shut. The fuck up. Everyone. Alright. [Pause as everyone continues to laugh.] Jake: S-- sorry. Murph: So last time, you left Calder's home to pursue Gowan to the Ice Knife, but received a call from Albin along the way-- [laughs] Shut up, dude. Jake: Bahumia. Bahumia. [Everyone laughs.] Murph: This is precious information! Jake: Bahumia! Emily: Bahumia! Bahumia. Caldwell: (exaggerated) Bahumia! Murph: Yeah, okay. You guys are like pokemon now? [The others laugh.] Okay. Alright. Worst bit ever. Okay. [Jake: Bahumia] You recieved a message from Albin--

Murph: -- You were greeted by a ghostly message in the ice that said Friends… Murph and Emily: Betray! Emily: I remember! Murph: You remember. Good job, Em. Jake: Holy shit. She's back. Murph: You get a sticker. Emily: I wrote it in my notebook. Murph: Very good! [Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.] That almost makes up to your behavior for the first three minutes of the show [The others laugh.]

Murph: And that's where we are now. Caldwell: Alright! All my real betrayal heads get ready! Emily: Yeah! Caldwell: This is where it starts! Murph: [laughs] Shut up. All of you. [Everyone laughs.] Caldwell: (through laughter) I can't. I have to talk for another hour at least. I'm so sorry. Murph: It's all good. Alright. So--

Emily’s face any time someone calls Murph by his Catholic given name kills me