Compilation of Procrastination

I wanna run away with someone in the middle of the night and go on adventures and see the world and eat at cheap truck stops and sit on top of our car and look at the stars and just be somewhere other than here. 

i hate this fucking website oh my god

me, holding my thumb over my laptop’s power button: do you need a time out or are you done

Doctors explaining hysteria in 1846

being 25 is like: im dying. im living my best life. im a failure. my life hasnt started. everything interesting has already happened to me. im achieving my dreams. im cutting my hair with kitchen scissors. im starting a skincare routine. im a corporate professional. im a sellout. im out of groceries. i have too many groceries. i am never going to be successful. i am going to win a hugo award before im 30. im crazy. im boring. i need to finish this essay. i need to finish this story. i need to start a newsletter. i need to start tweeting more. i need to stop tweeting. i need to ghost all my friends. i need to tell my friends i love them. i need to find a new apartment. i need to take out the trash. i am the trash that needs to be taken out. 

Why is this so goddamn funny

I love how anti-vaxx don’t seem to understand that the body reacting to a virus is what the fucking body does naturally when a foreign microbiological agent is injected into the body.

What did you just call me? Cunt? Like the philospher?

Why is this so goddamn funny

There is absolutely no possible way to guess where this is leading to.