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Jaune: New York Pizza? Kinda overrated. (Portal opens behind him)

The Avengers, The Fantastic 4, Spider-Man, The Punisher, Doctor Strange, Iron Fist, Kingpin, The Sinister Six, The Hand, etc.:

All of New York: "Fuck"

Nora:

Nora: MAKE ME, SPARKLY MAN!

Jaune:

Jaune: I'm a kill em

Dew: Let's do it

Sky: Guys can you keep your murder boners in your pants please

Dew: You can't tell my murder boner what do Sky!

Jaune: We are erect with RAGE!

Ok, now I did get this one!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jaune: Distraction attack!

*Jaune attacks Watts*

Watts: Grr! You scuffed my Gesepi brand suit!

Jaune: Heh, you should try their dresses, way more comfortable.

Watts: Oh, I agree- Wait, how would you know?

Jaune: I wore... One...

Watts: ... To each his own! *Begins to escape using a flying drone* I'm not a judgemental persoooooooon....!

JNPR: *holding out their official huntsman/huntress cards*

Security Guard: …Jaune Arc…Pyrrha Nikos…Lie Ren…Nora Arc…

Pyrrha: Wait, “Nora Arc?” Nora, why do you have Jaune’s last name?

Nora: Remember when we all visited Jaune’s family?

Jaune: Yeah, my mom was so busy grilling me and Pyrrha about our relationship that you just kinda slotted right in with my sisters.

Jaune: I’m pretty sure my dad actually thought you were one of his kids by the end of the weekend.

Nora: …well, apparently I blended in so well that at some point your mom officially adopted me.

Nora: I don’t know exactly how or when it happened, but by the time we left I had a new ID, a copy of my official adoption paperwork, and a hand-crocheted sweater matching the rest of my new siblings!

Pyrrha: I got raked over the coals by Mrs Arc for two days to see if I could date Jaune, and Nora was absorbed into the family by simply wandering too close… 😑

Jaune: The only thing I don’t understand is why she didn’t adopt Ren, too.

[apartment]

Weiss:*texting*….

Jaune:*slowly opens door*

Weiss:Hmm?

……..

Weiss:Hello? Jaune?

Jaune:*slowly peeks in* Hey.

Weiss:What the- why are you being weird. I thought someone was about to break in. How was your hair appoint-

He opens the door fully, revealing the pure white hair devoid of any blonde.

Weiss:…..

Jaune:So don’t freak out.

Weiss:WHAT HAPPENED!?

Jaune:I MISSED UP! I told them I wanted something like my natural color!

Weiss:And they thought the blonde was fake?

Jaune:….

Weiss:..Pffft HAHAHA! AHAHAHA!

Jaune:Well I’m glad one of us is having fun!

Weiss:Did you not look at the bottle they were using!?

Jaune:I don’t know the fancy names they use for hair color! By the time I realized they weren’t bleaching it first, they were practically done.

Weiss:I don’t go with you to the salon and this happens? You paid for them to do your hair wrong.

Jaune:I think the shock of my face earned me a discount.

Weiss:Well on the bright side, it doesn’t look bad on you. It kinda reminds me of grandpa.

Jaune:That’s the last thing I needed to hear.

Weiss:Relax.

She walks over to get a good look. Weiss had to admit he pulled it off. It didn’t look damaged either.

Weiss:At least they did a good job. I’ll yell at them less when I make my way up there. Come think of it…since I booked it, maybe they thought you were Whitley? Or a family member in general.

Jaune:What I’m hearing is I should’ve been in the broadcast message with Ruby. I know I’m not the most recognizable person but this hurts.

Weiss:Regardless, you’re gonna have to rock the look for a while. Swapping back too fast is gonna kill your hair. Especially in this heat.

Utterly defeated, Jaune hobbles over to the couch and collapses. Weiss would’ve never thought he’d react this poorly. Then again, he’d gone there to specifically remove his white undertones. If it was any other color he’d probably live with it.

Weiss:…I’m stepping out for a while. Are you going to be okay.

Jaune:Yeeesss.

Weiss:Alright then. No midlife crisis until I get back. *closes door*

xxxxxxx

About two hours passed before Jaune hears the door open again. The familiar clacking of heels stops him from removing his face from the cushions. Even when the sound traveled right in front of him.

Weiss:Hey, Snow Angel.

Jaune:Heh, very funny. *turns head* I might deserve th-

His brain lagged just like hers did when he first walked in. Weiss didn’t return the way she left. The dazzling white hair her family was known for had been replaced with a pale, golden shine of what had been looking for. The girl smiled as she reached into a bag and pulled out the color he was looking for.

Weiss:Your color is Crocea. In hindsight, we both probably should know that by heart. Especially you. Well? What do you think? *flips hair* Yang isn’t the only one who can pull off blonde.

Jaune:I am….so conflicted.

Weiss:Oh?

Jaune:Your gorgeous. Dare I say it’s immaculate on you.

Weiss:*red* Thank you~

Jaune:But I also think you could sneak into my family reunion like this.

Weiss:I’m invited anyways, but I see your point. Honestly though, your family doesn’t own yellow any more than my owns- well actually I’m pretty sure we could’ve own it, but that’s beside the point!

Jaune:Why did you go through with it? Knowing your eyes, you could probably tell it was the right shade with applying it.

Weiss:You’re not wrong, but you’re forgetting something. I…don’t like you feeling alone. Now if anyone asks, you didn’t make some silly mistake. We just decided to swap. That’s all. This also gives you an excuse to grow out your hair more; a style I for one find very charming.

Jaune:*smiles* Hehe, you so miss the ponytail.

Weiss:I will not argue that.

Jaune sits up and losses immediate rights to his lap. Weiss smiles proudly at him, not a hint of regret in her decisions. Such warmth and sincerity. It makes Jaune laugh at himself for being so dramatic. He gently rubs her left cheek as she leans into it before he guides her face towards his for a tender kiss. At the same moment, their door opens again.

Ruby:Yo-……*closes door*

……..

Yang:*walking up stairs* Hey, you knock yet?

Ruby:…

Yang:Ruby?

Ruby:Now I could be wrong….but him pretty sure i just saw Weiss’s brother making out with Jaune’s twin sisters.

Jaune: I attended every leadership class and spent hours carefully practicing strategies with my team…

Jaune: …only to completely forget all of it mid-fight and yell, “Jump his ass!”

Jaune: Oh, so you doubt the great Juan? Ignorant fool! I'm one of the greatest minds Vale has ever known! My brilliant Grimm slaying strategy has never failed to defeat a foe.

Ruby: *Skeptical* Really? And how many Grimm have you beaten with it?

Team JNPR playing Co-op looter extraction games.

Pyrrha: Uhh... Did anyone get my stuff back?

Jaune: No we all died.

Ren: We lost everything Pyrrha.

Nora: Everyone's dead.

Ren: We all died.

Pyrrha: Ah.

Jaune: We're all dead Pyrrha.

Jaune: 'What everyone? Everyone's dead?!'

Nora: Yes Pyrrha, everyone's dead.

Jaune: 'What, including Ren?'

JN: Yes Pyrrha.

Jaune: Everyone's dead Pyrrha.

Jaune: 'Ohhhhhh! Jaune, and Nora?'

JN: Yes Pyrrha.

Jaune: They're all dead Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: Shut the hell up!

JNR: Pfff! Hahaha!

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Based on this:

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Also prev tags:

Commission of RK!Jaune and his new ward little 10-year-old Emerald Sustrai for my dude @remy-steel-official. I mean... can you imagine? The most neurotic and anxious man alive getting this kid he knows from the future/past off the street. It's good shit

Also, Jaune I fucking hate drawing your Rusted Knight armor, it's too friggin complicated lol

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In season two when Mercury fights Pyrrha, he got to choose his opponent - by this logic that means Pyrrha got to choose hers – by THAT logic this means Pyrrha deadass looked Glynda in the face and said “Team CRDL.” and then she literally just did that. Pyrrha, feeling that they got off too easy for bullying Jaune (and others) decided to take it upon herself and humiliate them by solo-ing their whole team.